I’m sorry, no. This is not the guy who did the reflecting pool. No. Come on. We’re just putting a hat on a hat here. www.nytimes.com/2026/06/18/u...

Louie is watching you.

In consultation with my attorneys, this is my official response to Trump putting me on his enemies list:

the problem with the shittiest billionaires getting so directly involved in space is how much it turns off people who just want to be excited by space

We all literally, LITERALLY just watched NASA fly four absolute all-stars the farthest any human has ever been from Earth and back flawlessly, and yet we're still continuously forced to pretend Musk's bullshit catastrophe factory is the future of human space exploration

Gnomon has joined the household. He’s absolutely wonderful.

"Look at this ensemble! Ripped jeans, a stained t-shirt, and one flip-flop! What a bold statement" -on the runway at the Meth Gala

SHAFT

Important May Dates. 1 How TF is it May Already Day 4 Bird Day 6 No Diet Day 9 Lost Sock Memorial Day 12 Fatigue Day 13 Hummus Day 14 Dance like a Chicken Day 18 Museum Day 22 Goth Day 25 Wine Day 28 Burger Day 29 Paperclip Day 29 Otter Day

sitting in the texas book depository, lee harvey oswald silently curses to himself as president kennedy's ballroom motorcade drives by. "fuck," he thinks. kennedy goes on to be reelected and ends the vietnam war.

ahh a lazy sunday morning, now to take my traditional big sip of coffee and see what the president has posted lately

The next president will have to establish a cabinet position of Secretary of Eradicating That Asshole's Name and Every Trace of His Existence.

Gonna get me some sweet DHS contracts!

The Pedo Wars were a series of armed conflicts fought by the United States in the early 21st century as a means to distract from the fact that their president was a pedo.

In our history we’ve had Cabinets with people who were bad at their jobs, but good people who meant well. We’ve had people who were good at their jobs, but bad people. But we’ve not had one like Trump’s filled with people who are both garbage humans and terrible at their jobs.

I'm convinced AI is our generation's radium - a discovery with genuinely useful applications in specific, controlled circumstances that we stupidly put in everything from kid's toys to toothpaste until we realised the harm far too late where future generations will ask if we were out of our minds.

Good God, what has this nation become?

Bezos isn't destroying the Washington Post because it isn't profitable. He's destroying the Washington Post because he's calculated that a robust free press threatens the ability of his class to warp society around their interests

Some serious side-eye from the judge.

Really hope I live long enough to see the Nuremberg trials phase of this shitshow.

I don't want to secede from the union, I want these evil motherfuckers out of my union

The choice is impeachment and removal or calamity for the United States. I don't see how anybody watching Trump's speech in Davos can draw any other conclusion. He's a senile madman.

Scott Adams dying at 68 rather than 69 is the perfect capstone to a life of being almost — but not quite — funny

I mean, you know, we're all reasonable people here and it was certainly worth a try letting delusional, violent, racist, misogynistic, corrupt, brutal, malevolent assholes be in charge of everything, but I don't think it's working out all that well

This should be a legal requirement for being allowed to sell networked devices. Bose open-sources its SoundTouch home theater smart speakers ahead of end-of-life

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

practicing my celebration for when it happens

We are all in a state of constant panic and terror. It’s important to take a second when you see something online that triggers you to ask yourself “am it really triggered or am I just experiencing nonstop psychic damage from the world and my brain sees this as an outlet for my fear and rage.”

Three years and one month from today, I’m going to grab a pickax and pull those letters off that building, but I’m going to need help holding the ladder. Are you in? Applying for my carpenter’s card today, so it’ll be a union job!!!

Hello fellow internet user, I see you posted a cultural reference I am not familiar with and instead of googling the reference I have chosen to take offense and make it your problem

It's weird that nobody can just straight out say that he's a deeply stupid man and that is now being compounded by clear mental deterioration. Like we all see it. We know what it is.

“Sir, we did promise to announce a cause this month, so we could just say it’s caused by…hmm…let me just look around in my purse for an idea.”

Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again

It's simultaneously getting more menacing and more infantile. Everything he does now--everything--is "Be nice to me or I'll hurt you."

It’s not just me then.

DOJ agrees to release all Telegrams and Telex messages involved in the Epstein investigation.

🐰🐰

I do not want AI in Slack. I do not want AI in Google. I do not want AI on Facebook. I do not want AI in documents or spreadsheets. I do not want AI in Adobe Acrobat. I do not want AI in Zoom. I do not want AI on news sites. I do not want AI in the patient portal for my doctor's office. I do not wan

Live your life so millions of your fellow citizens don't take to the streets to tell you to go fuck yourself on your birthday.

You’ll be too young to remember, but there was a time when you could wake up as many as three mornings in a row and not find the world had lost its fucking mind.

Everything that’s happened over the past six months has been a response to an imaginary crisis. There is no immigrant invasion. No trade crisis. No scientific or governance crisis. Just people completely high off their own supply trying to fundamentally reorder society. None of this had to happen.

These kids today. They all got too many pencils.

The precious few days of lilac season bring me such joy each year, and this time they are especially bountiful.

Pickles questions my choices related to work / life balance and argues for more cuddle time.