“You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”

The greatest story you’ll read today 😂😂🫡 Forward it on for the betterment of mankind & also to get me into heaven

Well, that’s just fucking great.

I console myself sometimes, weirdly, that all civilisations end eventually, and maybe getting to witness and fleetingly understand how it happens is a privilege. At other times I just stare out the window and scream inside.

I grew up during the Cold War. Europeans were the Unlucky Pierres in the middle of a superpower sandwich and it was bad. Now it’s 32 years since the wall came down and they’re both still at it. Still whining, still playing victim, still threatening to kill us all. AND I AM SO SICK OF THEIR SHIT.

He claimed over £150k for staff costs 2025-26. You'd think that would cover taking care of the parliamentary paperwork. www.theipsa.org.uk/mp-staffing-...

He’s lucky nobody paid for his spectacles, otherwise he’d have been top of the news and on the front page of every paper for weeks.

jesus on a hoverboard if this saves us all from war and saves faces.. but words matter

IDEA FOR A PERIOD DETECTIVE SERIES: "Bertrand Russell Investigates" Top logician and fearless humanist Bertrand Russell solves crimes with his powers of deduction in the 1920s. Every episode ends with him chuckling about what he'll say about it in his next postcard to Wittgenstein.

And the most insane thing is, this is not even remotely surprising.

I just discovered that this bird - the Gloster Canary - exits and it has changed me.

Three Mile AI-Land

Altman only needs it because he asked ChatGPT for a carbonara recipe.

I feel that this may not turn out to be a good idea.

Me watching Titanic in 1997

Obi Wan Lecarré

The Times, 20 January 2026. "Mr Justice Blofeld" is Sir John Blofeld. Ian Fleming was a member at Boodle's, as were several members of the Blofeld family, and it's rumoured that Fleming took his villain's name from the club's membership list, just as he got Scaramanga from a boy at his prep school.

I couldn't buy the bad-poetry-writing dog from the supermarket as it's bark ode didn't scan.

All this talk of Brooklyn Beckham reminds me of that time I was lucky enough to come close to the wonder of nature that is a zebra. So hard to photograph but incredible to see.

I cannot tell you how absolutely infuriatingly this stuff comes across to Europeans. When we say America is no longer a reliable ally, it goes considerably deeper than Donald Trump himself. This kind of complacent, condescending shit is a *huge* part of it.

🎶I saw her face now I'm a Lea beaver Without a trace of doubt in my mind

BBC viewers can access Mark Rutte's inner monologue by pressing the red button.

Imagine that, the Americans just made up some shit that half their population will now believe is real because they don't read well enough to know any different.

Without America, "right now, you'd all be speaking German" Trump tells an audience in Switzerland.

You may not think you need French Vampire Emo Phillips telling you why math is cool, but I thought that, and friend, I was wrong.

Reminded that I have actually been to a conference in Davos (not the WEF) and most of the conference centre looks like my 1980s secondary school. A lot of breeze blocks.

Don’t think anyone will surpass this guys abilities….

It does feel feeble and trivial to look for little comforts when all is so completely fucked up. It also feels absolutely essential to look for little comforts when all is so completely fucked up. Anyway, here's some brownies.

[Bob Newhart voice]

We'll find out about it by blearily scrolling BlueSky while half awake first thing in the morning, trying to figure out who the current Main Character is by working backwards through the timeline. As God intended.

Should things escalate further and today goes down in history as the end of American hegemony future UK historians may be surprised to find the papers focusing on the Beckhams falling out.

In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies. I have translated some of the highlights

'Ur mom' but it's a demographic in ancient Mesopotamia

Good thread, this.

Still, mustn’t grumble.

Taxidermists of the lost auk.

I feel as if the entire world has been shaken.

The NYSE since Donald Trump started talking

It’s Penguin Awareness Day which seems like a great excuse to post the greatest ever Wikipedia edit.

Is your cat a Princess? Does she or he** deserve to sit on a bed of roses.. then you need this new lap mat craftysharp.etsy.com/listing/4360... ** yes boy cats can be princesses if they want to be 👑 #Cats #catsofbluesky

Watching the news

At least I now know what temperature blood boils at.

In my part of the world, once every six weeks the bin cycles align and we celebrate All Bins Day. This evening is All Bins Eve, and I have work to do in preparation.

Weird to recall what a bombshell Biden’s fumbling debate performance was and now it’s like, ah yes, the president is demented in public every week, what can you do?

I’m afraid I don’t live in New England.

This is quite possibly, and worryingly, the only interesting thing to have ever come out of Davos in my adult life.

If Biden had done a press conference like this one he’d have been dragged out of the White House in a straitjacket.