Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools

Like upon my works ye mighty, and subscribe!

this is the only emoji i know how to use. and it's ruining my life

RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open 'just to do quick research'

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only pee-pee man in a poo-poo world.

NY is the best👮🚓 ちょいとしたトラブル発生しましたっ48時間程度で戻ってきますねっ☆

living in a world where the only two jobs are “gambling” and “murder” isn’t nearly as cool as Cowboy Bebop made it out to be

yo check this out

The only LLM I approve of

I'm going to found a women's clothing company that uses body positivity to hide the fact that none of us know what we're doing. "Why is one sleeve coming out of the stomach?" Because women with arms coming out of their stomachs deserve to look good too

Ernie Bushmiller, 1947

the government should be spending one billion dollars to make a new XCOM game that runs on all systems including ipad

Crude people build houses with bricks, while elegant sophisticates construct domiciles using brichards.

I promise you, you'll never guess which "politics" they're referring to

Does bananual mean one banana per year or one year of bananas?

Talvez seja este aqui.

this originally aired in 2007

Rest in peace Scott Adams. We may not have agreed on much, but, I have to admit, Garfield occasionally made me chuckle. Also, how do you draft posts on here?

I always forget that other places have their own little new years that happens a few hours before mine

Sumerian engineers 2000 years ago

barkeep, can i get another activity placemat over here please? (sliding a fifty across the bar) and keep those crayons comin'

My new shirt is made of such delicate fabric that it can only be cleaned by the gentlest touch of a forest spirit. It’s dryad clean only.

Guards! Bless that man and wish him a Merry Christmas!

don’t forget to leave out a bowl of porridge for your gnomes on christmas eve, if you do, we eliminate all the evil spirits from your home and bring you good luck all year, if you don’t, tbh you really don’t wanna know what happens to those who don’t give us a nice warm bowl of porridge that night

Idk who needs to hear this, but talking to blorbo on the plagerism machine is crossing the picket line.

Which way western man?

(Guy who’s only ever played Minecraft playing a second video game): Woah, this game has enemies? Is that a reference to Minecraft?

Who up trying to get they dick van dyked?

the world has changed

Christmas night: "But Santa, you've hardly touched your Zardoz cookies."

Looking to spread some yuletide cheer with my new song “Big Nick Christmas”

Me: Can you imagine what future historians are going to say about the present? Future Historians: The first half of the 21st century (commonly known as the “Pre-Greg Era”) is a relatively unimportant period of history that isn’t worth discussing.

Have to make sure this video is on this website

In this household we kneel for the Cross, and we kneel for the Flag. Our ceilings are too low so we can’t stand up straight. Sorry if that “triggers” you, liberal!

has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane

Someone should invent a new kind of christmas music that doesn’t suck. Just a thought.

Since it's December...

Does👏anyone👏remember👏when👏people👏posted👏like👏this👏? I👏still👏don’t👏understand👏what👏it👏was👏supposed👏to👏mean.

🎶🎵Oh, you better watch out, You better not cry, You better not pout, You better not scream, You better not run, You better not hide, You better not resist, You better not beg for mercy, You better not make any attempt to avoid your fate, I’m telling you why: Santa Claus is coming to town!🎵🎶

Time for my favorite Thanksgiving tradition: watching firefighters explode turkeys with deep friars: youtube.com/shorts/5uEEb...

it's friday

It’s international men’s day? Boring. What we need is a holiday about all the people! Maybe we could all get together and eat turkey and potatoes. I’ll workshop it and get back to you.

As a man, as a big man, as a white man, as a big strong man, as a cis-het man, as a big strong cis-het white man, as a man with a daughter, as big strong cis-het man with a daughter, just let me say, let me just that, as a man, as a big strong cis-het man with a daughter, AND A WIFE!, let me just sa

I don’t really care who wins the epic battle between good and evil; as long as both sides gave it their all and had fun!

LP, LP, ➜, LK, HP. I went back redid my Homer Akuma. This time with synched mouth and tweaks.

getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning