we decided to give the computers that run society the weakness from the 1966 television show "star trek" where you can argue with them in plain english to defeat them

Well, it's a little clearer now why billionaires are so invested in technology that produces better written emails.

"babies are born worshipping unknown gods" is one of the most incredible dwarf fortress bugs i have heard of. its poetry.

the nectar of the dogs (puddle water)

Once I told a teacher I didn’t have my algebra homework because the gales of November came early. She failed me, which was very disrespectful to the sailors lost that day.

Schumer would sell his soul to the devil for a box of Cheezits and a promise that Satan will totally think about torturing him less.

I can spend a little time in the Skinner box. As a treat.

This is what they took from you

II’m at a restaurant and they’re singing their own happy birthday song. I thought we killed that tradition during quarantine. I’m gonna have to release a stronger plague.

TRANSITION CO-CHAIR LINA KHAN!?!?!??!

Mind.... Mind gob,,.,mind gobblin...

tried to search Bluesky to see if Sona Systems is down for anyone else, and found a buncha peoples' Fursonas instead. I don't know how I didn't see that coming.

The Spirit Halloween foam swords are part of my enrichment.

You can't get addicted to social media Skinner boxes if you never post anything that could generate a positive response.

Being a guy who loves paprika is a lonely life, but when I run into a fellow preak freak we connect on a deeper level.

For the sake of balance, the Louvre thieves should sell the jewels to the National Museum of Fine Arts of Algiers.

Snake: *hisses* Me: Ooops sorry buddy didn't see you there. Snake: *boos* Me: Okay, rude

Y'all motherfuckers could use a nourishing broth.

capyberus

I am not a huge fan of shield bugs, but I think I would be even less jazzed about sword bugs.

the average person commits fraud twice a year, but this is only because of statistical outlier Santos Georg, who should not be counted

The year is 2027. Linkdin has just acquired Neopets. I post a picture of a Faerie Aisha in celebration. I am immediately executed by firing squad for work inappropriate attire.

Doing the thing at work where I reveal I've been wearing weights this whole time then dropping them to the ground and working even better and faster

This anime season is hitting like a damp noodle.

I rarely complete video games. I prefer to leave the last few bosses as an exercise for the reader.

Just found out I’m on the FBI Watch Later list. It’s been like six months, I don’t think they’re gonna watch me.

Saw a video called "How The World's Strongest Anchor Chains Are Made" but I can't get that riled up before bed. I'll watch it before my next workout.

If you're feeling zesty every spam text can be a writing prompt for your new creepy pasta.

do i experience toxicity on here? well let's just say i have thirty thousand followers and yet all of my posts have fewer than thirty thousand favs. have you ever heard of gang stalking

Congratulations to the vibrant reds, yellows, and oranges of autumn foliage. You have been awarded The Pimp of the Week

Webtoons love forgetting the interesting part of their premise. "The princess is secretly a vampire"-Proceeds to do only normal princess things for 50 chapters.

Me: I respect the hustle. Wife: Thanks. You probably shouldn't.

I feel like Smaug and this post is the black arrow.

Be the Mothman you wish to see in the world

Hm so I’m getting word that the medbeds aren’t real but what about the human sized waffle iron I was promised

does anyone have advice for being more assertive in situations like this?

I understand many things, but I have no clue why crushed nuts are like 40% more expensive that whole nuts from basically every source.

The existence of High Fashion implies the existence of Dark Fashion and Wood Fashion.

The existence of High Fashion implies the existence of Dark Fashion and Wood Fashion.

The worse I post the more quickly I gain followers.

People in stone houses shouldn't throw glass cause it'll break and get shards everywhere.

Please don't call it that

I’ve fought mudcrabs more fearsome than you

GWAR for the win, fuck yeah!

I got a bump on my head and now I've forgotten everything I used to know about phrenology.

Switching the salad fork and the dessert fork as a piece of provocative performance art.

Watch out for snakes hiding out in your basement. If they collect enough of your dead skin cells, they can make a suit and steal your social security number.

shoutout to tumblr user kleinergeist for this post which is going straight into my powerpoint for Grendel day in my monster class this week

Warhammer is harm reduction

/please/