We need a Vatican version of this:

Good fucking morning to everybody except JD Vance, who got rejected to his face by Pope Leo when he asked him to be a part of America's 250th birthday celebration. Pope Leo knows better than to let MAGA use him for a photo op. Instead, he's gonna spend July 4th standing with migrants.

🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🌙

I rarely let myself get hyped for a film because I like to go in with low expectations but if they fuck up this book I will be raging

‘I was looking for a job and then I found a job, and heaven knows I’m miserable now’

You wouldn’t know that my mum is sick of me whinging about it being cold at her house, but there are clues* *two duvets on my bed

This is just standard Irish family immigration behaviour. You should see the birth certificates in my family.

OMG who wants to come to The Magic Circle with me? www.seetickets.com/tour/all-don...

Why yes, you can make a perfectly functional dragons lair from garden rocks and Christmas crackers, obviously.

wow, I'd assumed they would have not said anything about it

Potential for the best ever episode of 24 Hours in Police Custody

Normalize laughing derisively in men's faces when they deserve it.

WTF Arsenal

DID YOU KNOW that if you were born between 1970 and 1990, you may well be eligible for the MMR, given you might not have been vaccinated against all three diseases in that period? CHECK WITH YOUR GP. Also if the NHS has incomplete vaccination records on you, due to being OLD and FOREIGN-BORN like I

Big Air time which means it’s quality commentary from Ed and Tom #winterolympics

I strongly suspect that if we just converted some cow-milking machines such that we could attach all the major alt-right figures to it by their gentleman's appendages in a massive blow job barn, all this would go away.

I thought the country was full? Make your mind up, racists!

I reckon Brewdog could be revived for sale if they brought back Dead Pony Club IPA and Bounty Hunter stout. Two beers I’ve never forgiven them from turfing out of the line up.

I think Keith’s spot on here. People want Brewdog’s beers to be bad for moral reasons, but while they’re not as exciting as they were, they’re still fine (though taste is subjective and clearly if you despise the brewers that will affect your enjoyment). As I said yesterday, I hope a buyer is found.

‘Wuthering Heights’ is a perfectly enjoyable Emerald Fennell film, everyone calm down, it’s not that deep. Just enjoy art, pals.

The best “sack the board” messages are delivered via a plane 👍

the chef. the kiss.

My old pal @mortenmorland.bsky.social celebrating my 15th anniversary in Downing Street in style

Every year, this joke makes me laugh more than it should. Colleagues think I'm overdoing it but I genuinely forget about it, on repeat. It's fun being simple.

Hahahahhaha #ASTNEW

I’ve renamed this event Bumpy Jumpy Skiing.

Latest odds on Nadhim’s man who looked like he may be violent & hadn’t slept for a week: The artist formerly known as Prince Andrew 2/1 John Inman 3/1 Lee Anderson 4/1 Ronnie Pickering 5/1 Thomas Frank 7/1 Me 7/1 Sir Jim Ratcliffe 8/1 Ann Widdecombe 9/1 Rylan 9/1 Chris Mason 20/1

He’s now at 1.5 million mentions in the Epstein files. I don’t even have to say who it is, you already know.

Dude regularly works for Disney, DreamWorks, Netflix and CN so speculate away. But this sucks no matter which studio is doing it, and gross to think some major movie this year is running with a plagiarized image from ChatGPT.

The lads. #TOTP

What time are they subbing the squirrel in this week? #HULCHE

👏

Mad to think we’re all just down there pissing about.

A well-written article about the power of TTRPG’ing for connection by my good friend: open.substack.com/pub/hendri15...

A great 24 hours in Premier League Football Manager bingo, I see.

OH BUDDY

I know what would be white enough for you, Laura: a big white pointy fucking hood?

It would be extraordinary if the UK PM has to resign over the Epstein files, but the US POTUS who is not only in them thousands of times and is already an adjudicated rapist and abuser himself somehow is immune. What a time to be alive

Well, the Benito Bowl was 💯

Turns out I only needed to watch the last half hour of this match.

Breaking news: man who could end world hunger and make serious roads into contesting climate change but instead chooses to make porn-AI accessible and cheerlead for fascists can’t work out why he’s not happy. 🧐

[Gladiators] MARK CLATTENBURG: VIPER! you cannot eat a contestant's shoes! you're disqualified! VIPER: [visceral screaming, tears Barney Walsh's head clean off his shoulders] GUY MOWBRAY: [tutting] oh dear, you can't do that Viper

Hahahahahahahahhahahaha

Final Score in absolute shambles because of a squirrel on the pitch at Hull 😂

Finneas is better at political messaging than 99% of the Democratic consultants in DC.

🤥

BBC saying a "mixed reception" to JD Vance who is audibly booed over the thumping music in the stadium. So disingenuous.

You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes