One thing I've learned from the Internet is that a lie needs 0% proof to be believed, but the truth requires thousands of pages of proof and still won't be believed.

I need to apologize. Brian and I invoked this today by recalling how he tweeted about bikes needing to stay on the sidewalk. Also, AJ McCarron blocked me on Twitter, which would make him one of many AL politicians that I had weird interactions with on that website.

I think I’m doing pretty well postpartum, except I hate the transition from daytime to nighttime. I dread going to sleep and am also so tired feel like I need to sleep immediately.

Truly hate that when an Auburn coach retires, I have to dread what political position he’s going to take

I can tell the economy is bad because my IG inbox is filled with accounts offering to promote my book if I pay them $200.

Little do people know that a lot of times you don’t even get a physical copy of the book. The UK tends to be better about this than the US. In the US, only *special* writers get physical copies usually.

At two weeks postpartum, I'm not exercising or writing, but I am preparing to exercise and write, meaning that I'm going for long walks and writing in short bursts.

He tried to warn us.

As a society, the one thing we were totally unprepared for was annoying leftists being right.

What is a scroad? A scroad is a member of a far-right online hate group. They split off from the groinks in 2017 after the Glunt War, which took place on fapchan. One of their members is a U.S. senator

I cannot describe the level of relief I feel the several times a day I remember that my baby is here and that both she and I are healthy.

Discovering computer as an adult makes you go crazy. Discovering computer as a baby makes you go crazy. In all of human history, there will only ever be one generation to discover computer at the correct age: 13

The biggest news is that I had a baby on Friday

Student in my gen ed creative writing class asked if I'd ever written a book and I said 'yes' and he said 'what's it called' and I told him and he wrote it down very carefully with a pencil in his notebook and let's just say certain family members could learn something from that kid

i bet it feels amazing to be a middle aged college professor and say stuff like "napoleon wouldn't stay in his lane so the duke of wellington locked in" to a survey course of a hundred bored 18 year olds

just write stuff that no one will ever care about, forever

Ronan’s been really into dinosaurs lately and it’s very easy to imagine a scenario where Trump creates Dino Force that makes Jurassic Park a reality.

the only Trump announcement I care about is one he won't be able to give 🤷🏻‍♀️

Did you guys know you can choose to ignore discourse on various social media platforms when you’re posting your quips?

They need to invent a coffee for the afternoon

the haters and losers will say it's foolish to indulge in wild speculation but you can't deny it's extremely funny that they have to write headlines like this

Something that frustrates me is that progressive people are asked to provide endless evidence that their ideas are practical and then, even with evidence, are dismissed as being unworkable while meanwhile conservative ideas are accepted because they involve suffering, so it must work, right?

I mean

Okay that was good practice. Gotta get ready for the real thing.

They say that golf is a good walk spoiled, so at least he’s not enjoying himself.

Doomscrolling is a lot more fun when you're rooting for the doom

Them: even if he dies, nothing with change Me: except he’s dead and I’ll be glad he’s dead and everyone will be glad he’s dead. Now give me my tambourine back, Susan

At the very least it’s fun to think of this as a sort of tailgate party before the big event

How long do you think they could pull off a Weekend at Bernie’s situation

This isn’t what I expected when my pregnancy insomnia woke me up

I don’t support when people try to pretend their pets are the same as a service animal that someone is medically dependent on, but also I need to bring my dog to my doctor’s appointment.

I wrote this piece on the morning of the mass shooting in Las Vegas in 2017, and every couple months or so since then 25 people will get shot somewhere and people will share this and email me about it, and that's been happening again this week therumpus.net/2018/02/15/w...

Just in case you need a little joy today: here are some lovely llama costumes from the 4-H costume contest at the State Fair 📸: Aaron Lavinsky/The Minnesota Star Tribune

This morning Ronan tried to argue that he needed to watch TV to help his body calm down and though we didn’t let him watch tv, I can’t blame the guy because same.

Hi authors! Please remember to file a claim!

If something happened to be daughter and in response I was told that she is now "with the person who loved her the most," you could not hold me legally liable for what I would do next.

Once again, I’m thinking about this @kathyfish.bsky.social poem

There is something that could happen, but probably won’t happen soon that Brian and I’ve been referring to as “the event” and I’ve decided to let myself indulge in the fantasy of possibility.

In the end we all marry football dorks

i'm a broken record on this stuff but the cracker barrel thing is a great example of something that a few weirdos care about. but the way the internet works is that LOTS of people find it funny when weirdos get worked up, which recruits new weirdos/enrages the old weirdos & now this is a thing

How many dot com bubbles am I gonna be forced to witness in my lifetime

Brian and I want to get a cake after the baby is born to celebrate. Obviously I'm spending a lot of time thinking about this. Where are your favorite places to order a cake from in the Twin Cities? Normally I'm a Cafe Latte girl, but I want something different for this.

I joked on IG about writing a State Fair thriller and a bunch of people messaged me saying they would read it. Unfortunately, they were all Minnesotans or people who had been to the Minnesota State Fair. Someone please inform east coast publishers about the necessity of this book.

Unfortunately every fall I long to be a student again.

It’s ironic that everyone panics about *the youth* using technology when the people running the country have had their brains completely rotted by digital misinformation.

we wonder why these people who have all the money in the world prioritize accumulating more money over anything else, but Trump shows that they don't, not really the money is a means to control others, and if there is a conflict between the two they will pick control every time

Brb, moving to Mississippi so I don’t have to see your posts

Bolly was my roommate in Tuscaloosa. We ate a lot of garbanzo beans, played a lot of cookie clicker, and listened to various covers of “goodbye horses”. He has a fight ahead of him, so anything helps. gofund.me/afea3c8e

Ronan’s daycare now has an older Chinese woman that the kids call “grandma” making their food, so Ronan had sweet potato noodle chicken stir fry for lunch and meanwhile, I ate a peanut butter sandwich because I was too tired to make something better.