"I will never use it, of course, because I like making things, and I don’t hate myself, even when the things I make don’t turn out so good. If you hate yourself and everything you do, you will love AI, because it negates the self, and when you use it, you are doing nothing."

forgot to mention, but it's so obvious as to not need saying, that england is now called onegland, on account of the one goal. the word looks gross, but I didn't invent the language, so it's not my fault. onegland vs argentwona. simple as.

god help me I'm going to post about a trending topic -- these stories about "teen takeovers" aren't referring to bored teens hanging out in the park, they're referring to huge gatherings *the whole purpose of which* is to ruin a public event or terrorize a public space by acting like assholes

New story up at @therumpus.net! It’s about LA, ikea, and shame, and I would be so happy if you read it! therumpus.net/2026/07/13/t...

We're having a TWO-DAY SUMMER SALE on all our books! 🎉 You know what to do. Go do it here: www.nyrb.com/collections/...

this movie, which looks horrible, is going to gross a billion dollars in Philly alone

Nobody loves to see a crying child like the production crew of these World Cup broadcasts

“I LOVE PHILLY!” Jordan Walker’s dad couldn’t have been happier after his son won the @TMobile #HRDerby 🥹

This is such a sad, lovely, and spot-on essay about how the world is changing, the losses in our lives, and the pure magic of lightning bugs. www.hippocampusmagazine.com/2024/07/when...

Maybe you want to read MORE stuff about my new book (The Perfect Moment, available wherever books are sold)? Well, you're in luck because LOUIS MENAND just wrote an essay about it for The New Yorker!! www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...

New class alert! Or really, revamped class exhumed from the archives: THE INTENTIONAL WRITING PROCESS. Come think about ways to build a writing process that puts ease and calm into your work, and makes space for creativity to surprise you. jaimegreen.net/classes - early bird pricing through 7/18

actually surprised to see people whining about the booing at the home run derby. It's essentially a pro wrestling exhibition, the crowd should be stupid (extremely complimentary) about it

cheering for your team is good actually

Folks I booed as hard as I could tonight and it wasn't enough to get Schwarber over the finish line. For that, I'm sorry

Unfortunately this whole approach to Iran is beginning to resemble my strategy on low-level home repairs a little too closely

astounding how often I have fallen into the exact same trap of following someone on social media bc I trust them as a Voice of Reason on some topic I don't know much about, only to eventually realize "this is just a hobbyist with clinical depression"

The state of dew releases

I'm going to see @isaacbutler.bsky.social at Head House Books tomorrow, talking about his *extremely timely* new book THE PERFECT MOMENT, about the history of right wing censorship movements (and more) headhousebooks.com/event/2026-0...

Safe to say I've hit my quota on people telling me that actually 2 million isn't enough to retire on. Got it, folks, no need to cover this point in any more detail

remember, be careful what you post on a day like this. If you do it right, you can get illegally fired for being disrespectful to Lindsay Graham and then win a massive lawsuit about 10 months from now and retire with 2 million in your pocket

It's like the Argentine goal scorer was challenged to spell McAllister in the most fucked up way possible

my Conway Twitty Tribute Pistol is raising a lot of questions that, frankly, I don’t have to answer so long as I’ve got my Conway Twitty Tribute Pistol

as a 2 time Philly rec league all star goalkeeper (1993 & 1994) I have to say: that guy shoulda caught that one

This match is further proof that too much time in the Florida sun will make you insane

ubiquitous, hyper-accurate, live updating GPS is a miraculous invention, one of the great enhancers of modern life, and in fact probably saves people's lives on a regular basis (faster routes in emergencies, etc). V weird to see people doing "we used to drink from the hose" posts w/r/t paper maps

Here’s my beautiful book haul from @barrelhouse.bsky.social Writers Camp last month @tmcallister.bsky.social @housleydave.bsky.social @poeticmoni.bsky.social @avitusbcarle.bsky.social @thewritelifeliz.bsky.social @danieldifranco.bsky.social Diana Smith Bolton Emily Kiernan

Imagine getting killed by the drug lord with the Chuckie Finster gun

Reminder that our huge sale is still ongoing -- Just $5 for everything in our entire back catalog. Here's a sampler you could pick out if you're just trying to get a broad sense of our whole deal, plus a final image to help you out if you're not good at math www.barrelhousemag.com/shop

Why do so many Substack guys write like their subscribers are paying them by the word

The important thing is whoever we get it has to be a man with a recognizably masculine job: beer guy, sausage guy, tree guy, pro wrestler guy, pushup champion, whatever. Something with a uniform maybe

names of the senders on the AI author email scams are getting more Dickensian

One thing I hate about the Platner discourse is this Theory of Masculinity bullshit from nerds who have been professional bloggers their whole lives, and who would die in five minutes without their slack channel. There are not Two Types of Guys

real fucked up shit happening in this headline, subject-verb-wise

In light of Republicans all having fake conversations with Mitch McConnell, I'm thinking of what conversation my friends would lie about having with me, if they were trying to conceal my death. "I talked with Tom for 20 minutes about how Reggie Bush fumbled that ball after the Sheldon Brown hit."

Argentina is just good enough and just flawed enough to make every game exciting

Thank you to @wigleaf.bsky.social for recognizing two Barrelhouse pieces in the Top 50 this year! And congrats to @lumchanmfa.bsky.social & Riley Richards! Links to both pieces below in the thread

If the Cryptkeeper were introducing the embattled Maine Senate candidate, he would call him Grim Scatner. Just my two cents

If the Cryptkeeper were introducing the embattled Maine Senate candidate, he would call him Grim Scatner. Just my two cents

This Sunday! If you aren't sure if this workshop will be helpful, feel free to ask, here or [email protected]

[7 months and a couple million dollars later] It turns out we make mostly bad TV shows, on purpose

I'm the guy who invented saying "you've just got to want it more" when talking about a big game

Reading that Erling Haaland eats 6000 calories a day and I think I've finally figured out how to become the striker I always dreamed of being

Got my copy of this book today (2 days early!) and besides all the good stuff in the review, it must be said this is a beautifully designed book, a nice book to hold in one's hand, to show off to your friends, even the ones who don't read but like fancy looking things

over 15 years ago, we discussed The Homosexual. And still, it seems, there is much more to be said

an all time best online estate sale win

hearing disturbing reports this morning that The Noid has gone woke

this rules

Okay, if you like America so much, why don't you name 5 Americans. Bet you can't