god is omnigender and omnisexual, identifying with pronouns so unfathomable to the human mind that we are as insects, bacteria, squirming on a physics textbook unaware of the wonders it contains

thought this was going to be a time travel mystery, but instead it's just capitalists how-do-you-do-fellow-kids-ing and ruining books

I spent this evening playing around with my new loop pedal, so you all are lucky bluesky doesn't have an audio function

I keep thinking this is one of the tripod creatures from war of the worlds and I keep being disappointed

I got the strange urge to watch survivor, a thing I haven't done since the second season way back when I was in high school, so I chose a random season and hit play. and friends, a few episodes later, I'm worried I might be a normie.

As Jabba the Hutt's son I'm often gatekept from progressive spaces due to preconceived notions about my family. At the same time, I acknowledge the reasonable concerns my presence would raise, and I'm working every day to unlearn the harmful attitudes instilled in me on my father's pleasure barge.

For far too long, this country has been governed by people who were either unable or simply unwilling to post brief videos of themselves being bitten multiple times by snakes that they had just picked up for some reason,

just a little more inflation and they'll be able to justify a $14.88 price tag

These are the two optimal types of Baseball Name.

yeah, it's called congress. I said it's called congress. the place where time moves backward. is congress.

they should invent a kind of vacation where the work isn't piled up and three times as stressful when you get back

I

successfully completed the buzzed-sober-rebuzzed cycle on this memorial day, to honor the troops

devastated to learn he-man has pronouns. and gender.

we have so few basketball games left this season and the cleveland cavaliers are dead-set on making sure at least one more of them is a literal garbage can

cruise was a good time. some teens said I looked cool. other things also happened.

it is a good and normal time for me to be taking my first ever cruise

if you see me coming home, you already know I'm about to roost

h... horse??

nothing hits quite like two small scoops of the world's cheapest vanilla ice cream from a sad 5-gallon vat in your office's break room on a random thursday afternoon

donald trump started a war to get out of going to his kid's wedding

love articles like this that are like "this asshole is brilliant because he eschews the social contract and engages in behaviors that would get 99.9% of people fired within a week" implying that it's his Singularly Focused Genius and not just extreme luck and privilege that made him successful

not a bad show but a rough moment - I saw collective soul at a free show in orlando, and during the encore, the singer said "I'm missing my wife's birthday to be here - let's call her and all wish her a happy birthday!" and he put his phone up to the mic and she hung up after 1 ring

The continue reading button on articles should have camouflage and it should scurry around the screen trying to avoid your mouse. Also they should give it a gun

it would have been funny if the dune worms were like 9 feet long, a foot and a half wide. like unquestionably extremely big worms, but not worth all *that*

800-foot guy in the year 2482 with his right hand dressed up in a bulls uniform and his left hand dressed up in a white sox uniform (chicago is considered a prime oceanside destination in the year 2482, far enough north that the heat almost feels nice)

Checks out cutie

I jerked him now

it's rare that any law or regulation enacted individually changes the world at scale - does arresting one kid for smoking a blunt do anything to stop the global drug trade? - but I promise you there are things we could do to bezos specifically that would improve the world overnight

55 POINTS 55 REBOUNDS 55 ASSISTS 55 BLOCKS

gas should only be more expensive for the profits of oil companies or because a president wants to blow up brown people. a few pennies a gallon going toward the public good is literally the downfall of society.

We ended child poverty and had a huge public health initiative where the US army gave everybody lifesaving medicine and your boss wasn’t allowed to force you to come in for no reason, and then a bunch of child molesters decided that those things were making the great unwashed too uppity

every day is a worse, more embarrassing day to be a gator grad than the day before

my phone ui updated overnight and now the little buzz that happens when I fav posts on here feels more hesitant and stuttery, like I've made a mistake, which I usually have by faving posts on here

Actually, and here is the fucking kicker, we have had iPhones and streaming services for almost 20 fucking years and we didn’t need these data centers. The data centers are only required because these companies are integrating AI into everything to make failing tech look successful.

any time I see some business brain post on linkedin that stars with "a hard truth:" the truth winds up being a lie

this game rules. by "this game" yes, I mean cavs-knicks game 1 2026, but also Basketball

lol and lmao

jalen brunson isn't quite young enough that he could be my son, but he looks old and tired enough that he could be my father

nobody in sports looks sadder and more tired than jalen brunson does at literally any moment in time

who up shooting a better 3-point and free throw percentage than the knicks

I don't want to play a "platformer." The only platforming I care about is platforming women's voices.

every time jd vance shows up, he's saying something more wrong than any man has ever been in a tone more smug than any man has ever used

wondering if I am Aggrieved enough having had to live as a white man in obama's and biden's america to get some of the trump racism + insurrection fund money

nba ref mics need to be open to the public 1 million percent more than we need the ufo files

that stephon castle miss reminds me so much of courtney lee whiffing the go-ahead buzzer-beating layup for the magic in the 2009 finals

jfc vic. if wemby missed that particular shot, it would be played on "worst-of" compilations for decades. but he didn't miss. so

this is going to be a v fun series 🙂

one cool, underrated thing about wemby: he is good at basketball

we took a photo of this dog before and after we told her "go get it"