it is never not cool watching a goalie kick the everloving fuck out of a ball and launch it 3 quarters across the field

Happy anniversary of that time the post office asked me to provide evidence that my package was not delivered.

well I guess I'll have a cold crisp beer if you insist

refs have a vested interest in it comin 'ome

it’s very funny to believe that you’re headed to eternal paradise, most people are headed to eternal suffering, but while we’re very briefly on this mortal plane we need to be more racist

bam adebayo smacking tyler herro... hell, can you blame him

soccer refs are so cute, running around with their shirts tucked into their shorts, pulling out their little notebooks to write things down

it's gotta be staffers just collecting free paychecks from a dead guy until they're found out, right?

I blocked michael tracey #onhere and you can too!

Me and the boys heading to our Friday meeting with Mitch McConnell

check this out -- you're a pussy. this is my real name. ive been on the news for posting about hot-button political issues using it! and youre ugly as well which is fine but just while we're here

if you use chat gpt in front of me i’m fucking stealing something out your house

the best weekend for it to happen was 20 years ago. the next best weekend for it to happen is now.

never watched or read any version of ghost in the shell, but the way some of you are talking today, I believe that might change this very night

Made it to Friday but at what cost

searching for "ai" to insult people you've never interacted with is exactly the kind of weird, anti-social behavior you'd expect from someone who makes being pro-ai their whole thing

Iran's tourism board is workshopping some new slogans to attract American tourists.

16% of “swing voters” polled say “nothing would make me definitely vote for a Democratic candidate.” So, uhh, follow-up question…

saw an ad for an event that sounded cool, clicked through to see a clearly ai-generated description, and immediately assumed the whole event was shitted together with gen ai. not giving 65 of my personal dollars to that.

if we all come together and throw the greatest battle of the bands in history, I bet we could outbid netflix for letterboxd

every guy in america has two or three stories about a remarkably beautiful woman absolutely frothing for them when they were 20 and not realizing it until a decade or so later

the office is quiet as the crypt today. I had to double-check that it wasn't saturday or a holiday

played some ball tonight and got what I call a "quadruple single" in every game. quintuple if you include turnovers.

TIKTOK DETECTIVE: Well what do we have here? Looks like the poor bastard s-worded himself with a g-n. TIKTOK M.E.: No, look at the marks on the wrists…bruising, plus petechial hemorrhaging. This wasn’t s-word. It was unliving by a predator. TIKTOK DETECTIVE: intimate act me…..

had a bit in mind like "five guys whose burgers you've eaten at least five times" (would have been v funny!) but whenever I search for a photo of the five guys, I see either four guys or six guys. a genuine mystery.

*meredith brooks voice* im a mitch im mcconnell i help trump comma donald ive a turtle for a head im probably really dead

you can't even say graham is a good cracker anymore without people making it political

The Story Behind the Post: I drank 2 beers and ate some chicken last night. I guess that was kind of the inspiration for this.

how are you celebrating #BurritoThursday? me? I think I might have a burrito

i think on a moral scale this is almost on par with just killing the guy

funding a new school with my outfit taxes if this ever hits middle class america

If you meet me, take away one thing: That we are not all laying down & dying here in Florida. Millions of people live here, I would argue the majority of them are in some way oppressed by the state government, and we are fighting every day.

got a really busy day ahead of me, and I know this is a big ask, but could you all please try to post mid for the day so I don't feel like I'm missing out on that fire

many are saying it's bedtime. it is said that joe prefers sweet dreams, for him and for his followers.

the master communicator at work

[a tribe called quest voice] eating chicken? yes I am eating chicken? yes I am

a lot of times when you all repost those "no cheating, the last photo you saved is your ____" posts... I think you might be cheating

Graham Platner Clarifies He Covered Penis With Tattoo After Learning About Its Troubling History

Some fat Air Force guy in Kuwait eating his Whopper a little faster reading this on his phone

deleted the earlier post because I've already mentioned it on here, complete with the phrase "shit-eatingest grin" - but thinking about this again these last few days

so comfy and cozy knowing that when I see myself on this list someday, it won't be for selling out my whole career to defend a nazi rapist

the guys who write things like "whether this detail is important to you or not" have never once bothered to consider a "detail" that did not specifically and solely benefit their side of a given argument

the idea is that folks who attended rallies opposing a disproportionate reaction to the Oct 7 attacks couldn't have possibly known how disproportionate Netanyahu was going to get, so they must have been there because of antisemitism. "they were right before i was right so they were wrong."

you don't even have to say "better things are possible" to be mocked and tut-tutted anymore. you just have to say "things that literally existed and worked fine a couple years ago are still possible."

run s22 in maine

natalie portman going "at least the facade of ivy league education as a measure of merit vis-a-vis positions of wealth and power will be exposed once and for all, right?"

announcing that my nba career is ending right after trump announces the ceasefire is ending