TFW the unrealistic part of a premium TV show was the bit where a guy got scolded for taking notes on a crime

I also made dumplings today! They were rather DENSE but they were still good because they were dumplings

Recast all Elon appearances with Tig Notaro

News bloopers are so good. Some of the best bloopers.

Literally was just ordered to stop whatever I'm working on by a podcast as well. Feels like a sign.

often I hold the cat close & inhale her smell & it is the perfect distilled lifelong scent of home & safety & comfort from trauma for me & then she deliberately chooses to curl up on clothes that smell of me & isn't it astounding that some scientists wonder whether our companion animals feel love

As unofficial town sorcerer, I'm sending out a mild, almost ineffective charm that will make you feel cozy for a bit.

In case you’re having a crap day, here’s my dog:

No thanks, The Ocean!

In the century leading up to 1975, nearly 6000 freighters went down in the Great Lakes. The Edmund Fitzgerald was the last. The last. In 50 years, not a single commercial freighter has been lost in the Great Lakes. Why? It's NOAA. Of course it's NOAA.

Breaking news update

@wtyppod.bsky.social will the grounding of the MD-11 be on the goddamn news next ep?

We can't give up now. ❄️

But think of all that sweet, sweet defence spending and AI that we're getting!

🎶 My feet are both vibrating from the thunder of the eels! And the slithering of their bodies really gives me all the feels, I don't mind that I'm falling on the slippery onion peels, The eels go thundering on! 🎶 From: Glory, glory halleeelja!

Earthquake Prediction Flowchart xkcd.com/3165/

Historians will refer to this time period as The Age of Untouched Grass

If you see this, post your bird art 🐦 #birds

bookstore

Pantograph Crank sounds like an eccentric wizard who sells you dubious clockwork oddities in a fantasy RPG

What is this creature…?

caaats in the waaaaay all you are are cats in the waaaaaay

I hope the book reflects a better take on his racism than this thread. There's no point explaining that someone with wildly racist views didn't specifically, personally hate any Black people - especially when their views, privilege, and power were why they hardly ever interacted with any. Yikes.

A face for crimes

Rosalind Franklin Leaving her notes in a pile That she keeps by the door Who is it for? Awful James Watson Stealing the credit And snaffling all the awards Misogynist bore

HAPPY FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE

🎵 just try and stop me 🎵

What do those pencil-necked desk jockeys know about art? This is a massive improvement.

"did you even read the article???? the headline is bad but the article is good!!!" buddy if I see a restaurant called Dan's Fecal Stew i am not gonna go in there to see if maybe they printed the sign wrong

heads up to anyone who holds trans kids near: amy harmon from the nyt is searching for and having a hard time finding people to interview to find out exactly what trans kids are doing when their care is limited or cut off, and for purposes of community safety, please shut the fuck up around her.

I talk to the press professionally, I'm really, really, really good at it. So please, please believe me when say you cannot turn this interview request into anything good, it will do only harm. Harm to you, harm to your child, harm to other children.

Can't stop thinking about the fact that the government is literally slashing public service jobs while bringing in AI for use in the public service. They are literally doing, as a government, what we scream at tech bros for doing to their employees. Pretty gross!

*staring at camera* (the camera is Canadian parties thinking about leaders and premiers and such)

When asked by Stephen Colbert why he was wearing a mask in public, Tom Hanks said.. “I’ve had Covid enough in my life I don’t need to do that again. I’m wearing this for health reasons” More celebrities need to speak out like this.

The headline about Spanberger's blowout victory in VA--along with the Dems romping in the House of Delegates--is that transphobia really doesn't work as an electoral secret weapon. And this fact needs to set in, despite the dearest wishes of the most ossified members of the commentariat.

I gotta give it up to the writers tho. If NYC elects a Muslim mayor on the day Dick Cheney died, that is one hell of a slow played story arc. Every time you want to fire 2025's writers room they give you a little narrative resolution as a treat.

This season on the Hallmark Channel: “He’s a no-nonsense banker trying to run a country. HE’S a shit disturber who needs to learn the meaning of Christmas. When they meet under the House Floor mistletoe, sparks (and reindeer) fly, in “A Very Ottawa Christmas.” www.ctvnews.ca/politics/art...

Onion and Mustard Suite, Third Movement

The artist responsible for this is OakOak: www.instagram.com/oakoak_stree...

The kicker I'M WHEEZING

i'll use a comma wherever I bloody want and you can wrest that rogue semicolon from my cold dead hands. gather my body round with hanging participles, shoot it with a flaming em-dash and send it over a waterfall

really getting "nothing is real anymore and we've apparently all agreed that's fine" vibes from this Zillow listing don't show me what it would theoretically look like if it didn't have a gross carpet! it has a gross carpet!

Show us you in meme form

Worst case scenario, you have a never-fail way to summon a tolerant but sightly exasperated sigh from your spouse just by starting in "Did you know-“

Wikipedia has a list of Unusual Articles. It's long.

So many Canadians thinking “it can’t happen here” while it is creeping in from all sides. Power and money, folks. We need class solidarity asap because they sure have it.

Katchoo is a sleepy kitty. She's OUT

I'm trying to use Bluesky to sell tickets to my comedy special taping. Don't make me promote on Twitter. I'd rather have an empty house. But it'd be so much nicer if it were full.

summoning circle: 🕯 🕯 🕯 dodgers 🕯 🕯turn down invite 🕯 🕯️to White House 🕯 🕯 🕯

I just really want "I consider my business with ___ settled" to live on forever