A List of Things Said to Have Been Ruined by Women 🧵

here take the idol you must not let it fall into their hands

*young me, developing a strong sense of justice* This is gonna be great, what an asset, this will never drive me insane

Hey does anybody know what to do

when you see how dumb rich guys are today, it really puts a lot of history in perspective, doesn't it?

What's wrong, babe? You've barely touched your soup-on-the-rocks

[peering out the window as blood rains from the sky] we needed this

“I asked chatgpt” yeah well I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes. I saw the sign.

Nobody: Girl from high school on Facebook: “Date night with this cutie ❤️😘💜”

Pronouncing vegemite like Aphrodite #auspoli #auspol

What if the secret to winning elections is somehow Trump's syntax. We need a guy to say stuff like "But we're going to abolish billionaires and we'll be doing it very soon. They'll be paying very high taxes but it'll be very fair. And frankly they haven't paid taxes in a very long time"

“I’ll be there in a sec, a friend is just finishing up a story” the friend:

49% of Troy was like "they tried to kill us yesterday" but 51 were chanting HORSE! HORSE! really loud

It’s the shooter from Degrassi.

I can't believe I'm being PERSECUTED for who I am (a person who commits crimes)

thank you @ryanhatesthis.bsky.social for making me aware of this

it called fashion sweaty

We're talking Britt Lower and Tramell Tillman Emmy nominations this year, right?

You’re telling me this life crisis is mid?

A useful feature they could add to bluesky is labels to clarify if someone in your feed is going through a personal crisis or live reacting to football

600 million dollars is too much to spend on a wedding. You can have a perfectly good wedding for 500 million dollars

your true love gave you eight maids a milking? cool. just one question. what the fuck are you talking about

if you used a whale as a weighted blanket, you would sleep the deepest sleep of your life

claustrophobia is so stupid. let Santa get married.

The grocery store, and for that matter every public place, should have a fast lane for people who are experienced errand runners and a slow lane for people who act like they're on a sightseeing tour

I’m Larissa, I’m very smart but I don’t try

yeah that tracks