The King is mad

Always a good feeling to have both phone birds happy with you

They're always like "We're throwing you a birthday party; be there at 6", and then I walk into the room, and everyone's faces are stern and sad, and they're like "Andrew, the flashback structure isn't working, and you need to sequence the movie chronologically" and I'm like AGAIN WITH THIS NONSENSE?

Why do I have to pretend that I'm going to print something in order to save it as a PDF. Why do I have to engage in a little ruse.

I like to reframe my writing woes as "playing pretend in my head". Like, wow, I'm really not doing well because I was playing pretend in my head and really liking it, but when I showed it to someone else, they had a lot of notes about how to play pretend in my head differently, and it made me tired

I worry about every movie character while they're crossing the street.

happy valentine’s day

get the kid in the brown hoodie a scholarship

Medicare for All would save $450B a year. Every dollar spent on food stamps generates $1.50-$1.80 in economic activity. Each dollar going to low-wage workers adds $1.20 to the economy overall. It’s not about what this country can or can’t afford. It’s about priorities.

Whale evolution makes me uncomfortable

Very cool! I recently found out canonically what emotion the characters in Dune are feeling when they put their hand in that box thing, and it turns out that it's of a writer who found out that the third act they had in their outline actually doesn't work in their script. Nice!

We gotta come up with a better system than “everything rests on whether these twelve billionnaires are nice”

If you find yourself needing time-travel based comedy sketches. A real gem from John Lutz on his last show: youtu.be/VUVPx09BCBE?...

The toxic masculine urge to refer to all of your friends as buddies.

I will never understand what January wants from me.

can someone tell the Kool-Aid Man that it’s not “oh yeah” right now, it’s actually extremely “oh no” atm

just got off the phone with the irs they said file whatever you want this year nobody’s checking

Good. We hate you. Everyone hates you. Even you hate yourselves.

❤️ reading indoors ❤️

Minneapolis residents are painting tunnels onto brick walls and ICE agents are running into them. This is not funny.

I imagine reading your own reviews is like checking your rear-view mirror to see if the person behind you likes that you just stopped at that yellow light.

When you start to be able to tell which Costco employees are on-shift based on the cars in the parking lot -- no notes. Rock on, brother.

TIL the original lyrics to Deck the Halls are awesome and “don we now our gay apparel” is temperance movement bullshit

I won’t even walk across the office to see a coworker’s new baby. Nothing in the world could get me to ride a camel across the desert to deliver essential oils to a newborn in a barn

That time of year when the top 10% highest-functioning of our friends demonstrate how much energy they have to burn with a Christmas card victory lap.

This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥

The Benoit Blanc trilogy might end up as one of the best artistic statements on the diseased conservatism of our era, and l think Wake Up Dead Man is my favorite of the trilogy, largely because it’s Rian Johnson trying to understand Christianity and its adherents more than having a definitive take.

There's special kind of pain when a kid asks you to explain a Garfield joke to them and you're like "My sweet boy, there is no degree of context I could give you to make this joke funny."

Just because something is collectible doesn't mean that you personally need to collect it.

“Measure twice, cut once” is a great rule and can apply to writing too. But my writing career has been more like "measure nine times cut never".

Do you see how the out-of-focus trees in the background seem to bend along an invisible circle? In cinematography this is called the "circle of confusion", and I think it's just so, so pretty

This is the funniest thing I've ever seen.

i thought i was going insane turns out i’m just paying attention

@birbigs.bsky.social In case you ever see this: You are a big proponent of script read-throughs. What practical tips do you have for handling the crunchy, technical parts of a script like sluglines (and maybe camera direction)? Thanks!

The more I watch and read and write, the more I realize my personal pure, uncut drug is A COMPELLING FRAMING DEVICE. Completely unsexy, absolutely not at the top of anyone's mind, but it is MY THING. Fully. It is very closely related to the improve concept of a "game".

Every time you make an artistic choice based on what you think "most other people" want, you exclude a flock of little weirdos that would like the same weird things that make you happy.

It's pretty cool because no one's ever told me what a context clue is, but I figured it out. I used environmental hints.

Sorry I was late to our meeting. I was trying to see if I could sing This Is What It Sounds Like all the way through without crying.

Sure thing. I just need about 15 more minutes to feel some feelings really quick, and then I'll be right with you.

putting on glasses in the superman universe to rob a bank

what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.

Turns out I can only tolerate high levels of caffeine during Democratic presidencies.

I would have put them in a different order, but yeah:

Yesterday my 7-year-old son said: Tomorrow is Birdigo Day! And since we've logged 47.2 hours playing the DEMO alone, buying @johnaugust.bsky.social's delightful, relaxing, compulsively playable game had to be how we started our day today. store.steampowered.com/app/3264170/...

Waved at someone who wasn’t waving at me this morning. Time to relocate and start a new life.