Humans enjoy gossip. It's funny to me when some pretend they are above that. You aren't. One particular kind of gossip might not interest you but you do enjoy other kinds.

Also, if you could apply a gentle electric shock to the seat of anyone attempting to use their phone, that would be great.

It’s rich people The problem is rich people

squirrel: *points gun* me: what do you want me to do? squirrel: *gestures at sign* me: alright, i get it *opens book drop* squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion* me: NOT A SQUIRREL! squirrel: *disappears into book drop* me: *whispers* forgive me, keith

Oh my God. Bluesky, you know what to do!! @shakespeare.lol beta.ideas.lego.com/product-idea...

The Count knows what’s up.

“The tool can predict where a car may be in the future.”

I would add to this: “ordinary Americans” have “concerns about identity” too, or are close to people who do. It’s not like race, gender and sexuality is confined to one part of the country.

'Four cones wins, but in order to get a cone you have to build a civilization. Which is where the spirit cards come in'

I can never hear or see something about the extreme right Proud Boys without remembering that "proud boy" is a term for a gelding that doesn't realize it's been neutered and keeps acting like a stallion. So do with that info what you will. *sips coffee*

No one was actually going to procure a woodchipper and leave a trail of relevance crumbs to lure Megyn Kelly into it but if someone says “Lego makes their green bricks with andrenochrome” there could be a mass shooting at Legoland

[To the tune of Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison] 🎵Baba Yaga 🎵Walking down the street 🎵Baba Yaga 🎵House with chicken feet 🎵Baba Yaga

everything feels so scammy.

When I encounter myself as a different colored cursor because I have the Google Doc open in two tabs

👏🏻

Important to understand the Epstein stuff and the fascism and the corruption are, in a lot of ways, really all the same story from different angles: powerful men who can and do abuse vulnerable people around them because they can, and because systems of elite accountability catastrophically failed

Today is a good day to remember, and to say, that the #MeToo movement was right, and was righteous, and has been vindicated over and over again. There was no overreach. There was no excess. There was no they-went-too-far. So much work remains to be done.

Not a single one of these emails is either to or from a drag queen 🤔

My takeaway from every new Epstein revelation is that some powerful people victimized many powerless young women, many more knew, some actively enabled it--and we're still being told that MeToo and accountability for sexual violence have gone too far

I’ve said many times before how if you told me 25 years ago that one of the dudes from The Man Show turned out to be a good guy, actually, I’d think you were nuts … but I get it now.

Me, standing at the window in my “whimsy lover” tshirt: Yes … ha ha ha yes”

Played “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” for a five year old girl, and she told me, “You know, I do”

If men are reading in public it means they are ✨minding their own business✨ and that is Good, Actually.

back in my day we had a whole insty gram account where we celebrated the idea of hot men reading. And it was only square photos with premade filters, which was the style at the time

If I were a doctor with a massive house, I would definitely name it Bedside Manor

seems to me that those democrats inclined not to fight perceive themselves as living through a somewhat ordinary cycle of presidential overreach and backlash and not something much more significant and dangerous

This is my favorite part of this cycle we've been repeating for my entire adult life: when they sit backwards on the chair for some real talk and explain that you're a fucking peasant who doesn't understand how things work.

me *getting thrown onto a plane to a prison camp in guatemala* “i’m just glad this was done by a bipartisan vote”

The “But Monuments Are History!!!!” crowd is okay taking down certain monuments, actually.

1) oh it's cool that spiders exhibit social behavior up to and including the creation of spider cities 2) STOP TOUCHING THAT

I LEARNED THE ANSWER TO THIS Chris's Steakhouse was a New Orleans landmark Chris Matulich periodically got bored, sold it, waited for the new owner to fail, and bought it back cheap The sale conditions: Can't move it, can't change the name He did this six times Then he sold it to Ruth Fertel

I grew up in a county next door, and, um, wow 😮

A reminder that if you are called to be part of a jury in a political prosecution you have a right to refuse to convict on the grounds the prosecution is unjust. www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archiv...

The ADHD adult equivalent of “The Floor is Lava” is “the chair is Lava. Never sit down”

If Walmart paid its employees a living wage, they’d probably *spend their income at Walmart anyway.* But that would cut into the company’s profit margin which would cut into the c-suite’s bonuses. I don’t mind my tax dollars helping people, but I DO mind that they are funding the Waltons’ lifestyle.

Hell yeah, Greenbelt 🙌🏻

I sincerely hope Democrats pay attention to tonight’s results across the country. They won’t learn anything but still. Maybe. People are excited by change and original campaigns and bold ideas and candidates under the age of 50!

There’s nothing more American than your family going from being a target of bigotry to being a purveyor of it within a generation or two.

It's not the royal family who needs sympathy; it's the victims of Epstein's abuse. Above all, they need answers. But Speaker Johnson sent the House on a 6 week paid vacation because he refuses to return & vote on releasing the Epstein files & reopening the government. Shameful.

Alas, it seems the coldest cut of all is the pain man might inflict on his fellow man.

yeah why might it be harder for someone to break 50% in a three-way race versus a two-way race. obviously it has something to do with ideology.

the other thing about this is that there is no reason to pit these candidates against each other? each are good fits for their respective electorates and each shows the value of vigorous campaigns focused on the stated material problems of voters.

one last observation: donald trump has never won a majority of the vote and yet the political press treats him like the embodied spirit of the american people. will be interesting to see how they discount mamdani as representing new york if he wins less than a majority.

I often think about how Cheney wanted revenge for what happened to Nixon, and how we live in the ruins made by that dream.

No more Black or trans staffers. No politics of any kind. The cowardice of mainstream media isn't just insulting, it's *boring.* Now TV is just like any other beauty rag. Why not just kill it quickly? Why the slow-motion pretense?

thank you for all the support; the statement from our union is now live here with some more reporting. now that this is public I can confirm that the majority of today’s layoffs were women of color. there are no longer any Black women working at Teen Vogue.

If I were a tough-guy LEO & I knew my lawyers were going to show video of me in a bullet-proof vest having a sandwich thrown at me while saying the phrase “meat sandwich at point-blank range” I would be mortified actually???? People already hate me & think I’m pathetic & my team proves them right???

The Trump Admin has become a pay-to-play casino. Some of the payoffs are in plain sight. Others are under the table. Shame on all those collaborating with the most corrupt president in history.