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doctor: so basically, just listen to your body and you'll be alright my body: chips chips chips chips chips chips

this headline hums with ancient autumnal dread

No correct aspect ratio upload to be found on YouTube, and I could be more rigorous about my editing, but I genuinely think this is some of the funniest 106 seconds in comedy history, and definitely in my top five Simpsons jokes.

Come on baby change my tire Don't know how to change a tire

What in the ever-loving fuck?

I feel like this is going to be a bigger deal for the politically disengaged than people might think.

They say Ka is a wheel, don’t they folks? They’re saying Roland has forgotten the face of his father, very bigly.

space shuttle, arcade, buffalo, new york (1981) 'following a court ruling that video games are legal in buffalo, new york, two local operators, john gallineau and greg bunn, established the city’s first video arcade, in a prime downtown location..' archive.org/details/play...

It's probably a bad thing that a substantial number of high governmental officials are legitimately insane psychopaths. bsky.app/profile/atru...

Hell yeah

Some folks were worried that they'd sic thugs on the protestors or declare martial law. Instead they posted AI videos and complained. These people have no juice. Their supporters are cowards. They are are all bark and no bite. They collapse when we push back. Remember that.

The president needs your help! He's collecting diarrhea for his plane. He has a plane that's 99% toilet with other people's diarrhea in it and he wears a little crown when he drives it around. Brave patriots please send your loose stool to your favorite diarrhea president for his diarrhea plane.

One of the most TRUE signs I have ever seen at a march. Write this down and act upon it, friends. #NoKings #Manhattan

Guys new scamming method on bluesky. Please share this around. Dont fall for this stuff Block, move on.

Incredible. If you grew up in Indiana, you know what a big deal this is.

This is the first day in forever that my feed was full of joy and wit instead of an unspeakable new horror every three hours.

Uhhh, wtf?

notice the general mood of the timeline? how everyone is in a good mood and there’s a lot less misery and dooming? how there’s a lot of “we’re going to beat these assholes”? anyway that’s why these events are important

This is so true. Hell, even my house feels more positive and less helpless.

Eggless egg custard tart what could go wrong

Also this belongs in the editors' notes hall of fame: "[Editor’s note: Taylor was arrested and pled guilty to conspiracy to obstruct an official proceeding in the January 6 attack on the Capitol. He was later pardoned by President Trump.]"

“Teenagers aren’t cumming the way I think they should!” is quite the message.

This is going to pop just in time for the next Dem to take office and have to clean up, as is tradition.

Amazing that the GOP has managed to push the normie dem stance to “abolish ICE” in just 9 months.

want cake? why not try "mug of cereal." that's right, mug of cereal: Its what you have

To everyone who says, "But this won't matter": *MAKE IT MATTER.* You have that power! This is not inside baseball and your friends and neighbors will likely be appalled. And if they're *not* appalled, don't be cynical yourself. Take the lead, give the cue.

Leave it to Douthat to tell the Pope how to Pope.

Find an event near you at nokings.org/#map. ( ht: @tizzywoman.bsky.social )

Police officers who publicly declare that they’ll quit if a mayoral candidate they dislike wins the election are (1) usually bluffing—sure buddy, toss away that paycheck and pension—and (2) exactly the sort of cops cities would be better off without, ones who don’t see themselves as public servants.

today in "predicted by 30 Rock"

this is fucking obscene

Every A.I. CEO is like “We invented a robot that can fuck your wife so you have more free time to mow the lawn!”

What if the connection between reactionary MAGA politics and the sexual abuse of children is deeper than we want to admit? The name for this idea is pedocon theory.

I want them all prosecuted. Every last one of them.

David Simon, creator of ‘The Wire’, being interviewed by Ari Shapiro (NPR)

Around this time of year, brits will wear ‘poppies’ out of deep respect for the international heroin trade

Venmo: need to search? Me: yeah here’s the first four letters of my friend whom I send money to all the time Venmo: nah, how about these four strangers you’ve never heard of? Me: no I want my friend. Venmo: I’ll show you him for one second but then back to the randos

I think most people are yearning for anti-corruption politicians right now. I hope Dems seize the moment.

wizard frog is insane

I'm sorry: "if I wish to see a virgin on-screen"?

Do you live in a state that voted for Trump or that has a Republican and did you benefit from enhanced ACA subsidies? Do you have a longstanding health condition? If so, I'd love to talk with you. My signal is emgarcia.85. My email is [email protected]

If "AI" was as valuable as they say it is, they wouldn't be selling it to you. They'd be using it themselves in secret to make the next Minecraft, the next Avatar, the next Hello Kitty and then they'd sell that to you. They're trying to sell you a sick goose, while pretending it lays golden eggs.

ICE Nazis in Chicago tried to kidnap a food delivery worker but my man was too fast for those slow bastards

This is so good. There’s just so much here to come back to. The music? Insane. Wild phrases like “you must INspect what you EXpect.” What does that even mean? How did he get elected mayor *after* he made this?

I collect pictures of dogs who look like they’re being interviewed on the news