Will Hines
@williebhines.bsky.social
📤 7250
📥 197
📝 577
who are you people and also who am i
https://www.linktr.ee/willhines
I might go for a walk
about 19 hours ago
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Trump Creates New Cabinet Position To Take Milk Money From Nerds
20 days ago
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Very truly sorry that so many things suck
22 days ago
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I dunno. Maybe having a mean egomaniac bully in charge of everything wasn’t a great idea.
24 days ago
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Could everyone stop saying that I will be representing the USA in Solo Basketball Dunking? That literally makes no sense!
25 days ago
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GUYS it is NOT true that I turned down a nomination for Best Actor. Please stop saying that.
26 days ago
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Just did 10000 push ups.
about 1 month ago
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I bet I could dunk.
about 1 month ago
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I vow to watch every single movie ever made this year.
about 1 month ago
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Everything always works.
about 1 month ago
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Die Hard came out 83 years ago.
about 1 month ago
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It is funny how long video game credits are. I like to watch them because it feels honorable to do so but they are just so hilariously long. 20 minutes? 30? I could put a movie on another screen and be done.
2 months ago
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“Science fiction? More like REAL LIFE.” - me, blowing minds
3 months ago
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Caught up on podcasts! (Deleted everything)
3 months ago
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I want a coffee that has a fist to punch my heart , punch it hard.
3 months ago
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I will stand up for hot children of famous people.
4 months ago
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All shows are either Best Friends Hugging Or Broken Jerks Hating
4 months ago
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Why must I have “have goals” or “manifest success” or “go outside” or “get up” or
4 months ago
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You don’t see a lot of people riding horses these days.
4 months ago
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Hercule Poirot stars in The Mystery Of The Detective Who Wanted A Nap
4 months ago
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Alex Cross in the new mystery Fuck This I’m Going to Arby’s.
4 months ago
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Sherlock Holmes and the Case of He’s Tired And Doesn’t Want to Deal With Someone Else’s Bullshit
4 months ago
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“You’re all obsessed with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. What about Maslow’s really wanting of a sandwich right now?” -Maslow
4 months ago
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I’m so tired I am going to sleep right after I post this bullshit there done
4 months ago
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I swear to god today I will do everything different
4 months ago
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I mistrust AI, don’t like social media algorithms but I love self driving cars, so in terms of disliking tech I’m somewhere between Black Mirror and Alien Earth. This makes sense to me.
4 months ago
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Venmo: need to search? Me: yeah here’s the first four letters of my friend whom I send money to all the time Venmo: nah, how about these four strangers you’ve never heard of? Me: no I want my friend. Venmo: I’ll show you him for one second but then back to the randos
4 months ago
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Great news!!
add a skeleton here at some point
4 months ago
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Friends: be mad with me Me: I am Friends: not the right way though Me: no I think I am Friends: go fuck yourself Me: that’s what I was thinking
5 months ago
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Instagram before: put pictures here Users: we love it Instagram: okay add your location, to everything Users: uhhhh maybe Instagram now: okay also put music and sound on every little thing so it’s annoying Users: what? No! Why? Instagram: you must
5 months ago
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I bought a T Shirt from an Instagram ad and the algorithm has gone insane. 100% T shirt ads. I feel like I finally said to an Aunt “I guess I like music” and now she’s like “FINALLY. I KNOW WHAT TO GET YOU FOR CHRISTMAS.”
5 months ago
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Once again for Halloween I will be dressed as Some Guy In A Wig.
5 months ago
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In a tremendous act of self-love, I will not be playing the video game Baby Steps.
5 months ago
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The Monkees: Let’s combine all of the financial manipulation of a band with all the ego problems of a bunch of actors. Wait, it worked???
5 months ago
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It’s not as fun as I thought having an angry egomaniac paranoid grandfather for president.
5 months ago
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My favorite style of Reddit rage bait is an insane claim disguised as a question. “When did all gas stations stop carrying cheese?” Or “Why does everyone hate the piano?” Or “When did people stop learning how to do long division?” Very good and smart way to talk to each other I love it.
5 months ago
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I love that I check social media so much it’s good for me to see people I taught improv to once or twice be mad all the time this is good I am good
5 months ago
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I open this app and check my brain for something to say and all it has for me is “lotta crazy people out there.”
5 months ago
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I expressed an opinion about a recent news event online and —- you’re not gonna believe this — the people who already agreed with me loved it and the people who did not agree with me did not like it.
5 months ago
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Charlie Kirk’s murder has everyone yelling at each other but at least we also are making the killer a celebrity??
5 months ago
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@boomboomhiller.bsky.social
winning the Emmy makes everything seem okay! Hilarious cool person who deserves this success and more!
5 months ago
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The money countdown thing on the Emmys was my idea. Glad you guys liked it.
5 months ago
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The algorithm likes to show you stuff that gets you mad. You are seeing this post. Therefore, this gets you mad: I’m gonna go buy an egg sandwich right now.
5 months ago
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The algorithm likes to show you things that make you mad so if you’re seeing this buckle up for some anger: I am having coffee just a bit later than usual.
5 months ago
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After 11 years away from NYC I have realized : there’s, like, a shitload of people here.
5 months ago
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OMG best ever show! all the awards to this show! obsessed! cannot wait for next episode! = show is okay
5 months ago
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After not getting SNL or winning an Emmy I had better be on this Epstein List. I need a win!
5 months ago
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I WILL FIX SOCIETY WITH THIS POST
5 months ago
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There are two wolves inside of me. What happened was I got into a teleportation chamber and didn’t notice that there were two wolves inside there with me.
5 months ago
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New sci fi idea: one morning, everyone is just wearing fedoras and suits, like a 1950s Hitchcock movie. No one is aware it was ever any other way. Except one young graphic designer…. We cut to Manhattan at noon….
5 months ago
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