Slapping a "We don't dial 811" bumper sticker on the Ditch Witch.

hello 👋 i have developed a new tool called blüuümpíi. blüuümpíi will convert every file on your hard drive to a .wav file without asking you, maximize your system volume, and play them on every bluetooth speaker you have ever connected to. if you offer feedback on blüuümpíi i will take legal action

A major plot beat of Frozen 2 is that OLAF DIES, so this won’t be shocking to the Real Fans.

Look, y’all, this totally sucks ass but you have to recognize this as elder abuse.

Being neighbors with the Heelers would be awesome for precisely one weekend

Is there a history as to why car seats for children have remained aftermarket accessories? So many people need them, I’m surprised more automakers haven’t pursued more integrated or modular solutions.

No one would really need cars if you took racism out of the equation.

Gotta give it to him; this is sick.

Me headed to cash my check after selling out Neo and Trinity.

The Nashvillification of Atlanta is real. It’s time for Birmingham to step up as the Real Atlanta, like Constantinople after the fall of the Western Empire.

yeah im bummed about sora. bummed i sora bunch of stupid fake videos

restaurant manager: hey so, sorry to bother you, but is that a service animal? it's just, we have a policy- jabba the hutt: je wonna wonga, bazda wahota shonga salacious b crumb: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA restaurant manager: ah. ok. cool

Phone less convenient in every way and furthermore it is for babies. You always see babies poking away at phones and tablets. A baby is never on the computer

Tangential but “5 minute city”? The conspiracists are doing our work for us. That’s a 66% efficiency improvement!

I'm losing it at this delivery robot getting absolutely smoked by the Brightline train in Florida 🤖🚅

Hell yeah brother

American Baked Potato Association Study Finds It Best To Load ’Er Up

“Aw, shit, Lord, now why you doin all that to me now?”

watching baseball

Guy who made 800 million dollars selling a website named ToodleCo to Yahoo in 1996 and has done nothing since then but now has $100 billion: the concept of “human kindness” was invented by bolshevik psychologists in 1953, no one heard of that term until then Podcast Host: fascinating, I have worms

friend, this is Marcus Junius Brutus CAESAR has declared himself DICTATOR FOR LIFE and MUST BE STOPPED can you rush a donation of ten denarii today to show that you STAND WITH THE REPUBLIC?

Bring it back

Be a tourist in your town. Share a photo.

Viral sensation Yebba and studio whiz Pimmie.

Mojtaba vs. Donald: the Posters’ War

WBAL in Baltimore helping viewers understand the difference between watches and warnings

I have created a diorama of the Partridge family attacking the Brady Bunch family. My life is very boring.

The successful recasting of the geopolitical conflict between the US and USSR as “the Cold War” fundamentally changed what “war” means in people’s brains. It’s just a little linguistic trick but it sanitizes and greatly discounts the horrors of what actually happens during wars.

I am red waving myself.

hahaha this is excruciating

Go Birds

Important to remember today that the US presidency is a largely ceremonial position and real power rests with the prime minister, who is chosen by the faction that commands a majority in the United States Parliament

Fake Melania conspiracies were basically the only fun part of the Trump Era, so at least we can have that again.

in 125,000 simulations of the election, my statistical model predicted a narrow Harris win with 54.9% probability however, the model also grouped a number of midwest & sunbelt into a new entity, known as “MEGA ARKANSAS” - an ominous prophecy which i am terrified may come to

I’m not saying the Rogan thing is insignificant, but you’ve got to assume “undecided Elon fan, Rogan listener” is a pretty dry well for Trump at this point.

Biden had one bad debate performance. ONE. Trump’s been mumbling incoherently and literally unaware of where he is all weekend. Are any news outlets covering it? No. Why? (cue @mtsw.bsky.social)

Y’all ever just think about the “Dean Scream”?

I am very smart and this won’t backfire at all!

Molon labe but for cheez-its

Republican talking points in the final week of the campaign:

Spending the morning compiling and publishing a GIS database of all the houses in the neighborhood that had Halloween decorations but no candy for trick-or-treaters.

I think one of the big changes from 2020 is that the oligarch class in 2020 was really mad at Trump for fucking up Covid really badly and in 2024 they're really mad at Biden for (in their minds) fucking up crypto/AI/metaverse and the other scams they're trying to run.

I am a single-issue voter and that issue is "never having to think about or listen to Donald Trump ever again for the rest of my life."

You put [FRESH COFFEE] in your inventory!

Neutral Milk Hotel-ass October Surprise

Had somehow never seen Coolio talking about how he regrets withholding permission to Weird Al to use Gangsta’s Paradise and it’s so chill and insightful

I’m waiting for my van.

I’m savvy enough to understand that the complete lack of Trump signs around Birmingham isn’t electorally significant. That said, I spent four hours driving through rural Georgia today and saw only a handful of Trump signs. Dozens for Harris. The enthusiasm gap is real.