all lawyers are bastards, but some bastards are useful

the last words Humanity had left to teach The Robots was "we're not mad at you, dude"

our trivia team is being persecuted for our religious beliefs

I come here to riff on people's accounts, not to praise them

and that price? $0.00, because they lied about using AI

Evil's Last Stand type shit

More like Marty McCAN’Tfly, you fuckin’ chicken! HIT ME!!!! DO IT, YOU CHICKEN! TAKE THE FUCKING SHOT, MARTY!!!! BAWK FUCKING BAWK.

the call it The Onion because it makes me cry

this is what they were so afraid of in 1989

You know, it's an interesting point to consider. if primates are capable of sentient communications, we might even one day expect the same of Republicans

in rust, an allocation is temporary, but a reference? lasts a lifetime

[taps the "the quality of a person's art has no relationship, direct or inverse, in either direction, to their quality as a person" sign again]

This is the hippies and punks thing in the 21st century

Six-Gender Jimmy had the fastest transition in Pronoun Gulch until the Nonbinary Kid blew into town.

(Josh Johnson talking to the audience voice) Planet of the Apes is a movie, sir

"The whole world is a circus if you look at it the right way. Every time you pick up a handful of dust, and see not the dust, but a mystery, a marvel, there in your hand, every time you stop and think, 'I'm alive...!' Every time such a thing happens, you are part of the Circus of Dr. Lao."

Boy "stealing from petty cash" hits differently at the CIA

if we're ever gonna prove that we can contact any other form of intelligent life in the universe, first we gotta prove we can recognize intelligent life on *Earth*

Congratulations Stan Lee you would have either hated this or been the single most enthusiastic person in the world about having this happen

If I ever say anything offensive it’s because I was bleeding to death at the time

god's dick moves in mysterious ways

keeping myself safe from the robots by immediately slaughtering anybody who seems particularly helpful

your "you", in a word

but what if someone is using the AI to stop the data centers (this is not even *remotely* a hypothetical question)

editing the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe to change all the mentions of turkish delight to Mr. Beast© brand Feastables™

It's easy to chart the collapse of George Lucas's marriage by how increasingly unpleasant Indiana Jones' girlfriends get, culminating in a Nazi collaborator, but don't sleep on Spielberg giving his evil Soviet baddie the exact same bob as his fictionalized hypersexual mother

chat is this real

what are they gonna do, use a robot about it?

guys, Guys! your profile picture is supposed to be facing the posts. if it’s looking away how do you know what you’re posting? it’s dangerous. it’s like texting and driving, while on drugs. you could kill someone. or get canceled.

send me music that will lower my heart rate and/or blood pressure please. got my pebble watch and now that I know what my job does my stress levels I'm trying some shit

Sure you might lose money but you have to look at some of the benefits: 1) depriving a human family of a livelihood 2) having a CEO driven so mad by a lack of human communication that he starts talking publicly about his sperm

New take on Schenck v. United States just dropped washingtoncitypaper.com/article/7865...

orange cassidy is a genius

🧵on, among other things, the rare topic of learning from your mistakes.

throwing this idea out there as a Bluesky feature: "downvotes", but it's just for accounts you follow. easy way to democratize blocklists for stuff like AI agents that have been tuned to be "just annoying enough" to different communities of the site

I'm sorry that everything is about to start getting very Mrs. Davis here but there was really no other alternative

You don't hate AI, you hate the people using it. On this matter, I defer to the current highest authority to have weighed in correctly on this subject: the Pope

feudalism. it's feudalism. we can call it feudalism because it's feudalism

tv shows reeling nazis in like

The intrinsic value of human beings seems to be lost on guys like Sam Altman. Maybe that’s because his entire business model demands it. badfaithtimes.com/you-are-valu...

If you think about runnin' with debt then you in trouble

not my worthless ass being paid what im worth

The easiest jobs to replace with AI are execs because AI is remarkably good at doing nothing useful and being dumb as hell while pretending to be the most special smartest boy in the room

when the chips are down, nvidia's gonna be left holding all the cards

here's a fun little exercise for you: looking at these bars, if both the red and the green were to suddenly freeze entirely, which of them would 100% entirely cease to exist