At this point I wouldn't be surprised if LeBron plans on making his return on Christmas with a "this is my last year guys" speech for the home crowd. #NBA

My car is actively breaking down before my eyes and I have to work a 12 hour shift today. And it's my birthday 🎂🎊

No but for real though this is exactly the kind of Star Trek collectible I'm drawn to

CLAIM: The government is run by a secret society of pedophiles RATING: FALSE. This society is in no way a secret

Dallas Mavericks' Owner: trade Luka, I don't like his attitude Nico Harrison: *trades Luka* Dallas Mavericks' Owner: no not like that

أنا اسمي زهران ممدان وعم رشّح حالي لأكون العمدة الجديد في مدينة نيويورك

I'm convinced that if Pennywise were real, he'd be starving because Gen Alpha kids are unphased. "Goofy" "Not you thinking I'm crawling over to that musty sewer drain" "Cringe"

Plato probably would’ve labeled ramen as medicine, perhaps even a panacea

Sweet merciful lawd Freddie Freeman finally ends it in 6:39 and 18 innings

we’ve reached the “idk here’s some asshole” section of the bullpens

Guys I just got called to the bullpen?!

That organist is better than me man because I’d be playing anything up there right now

At least there's no historical precedent for what happens when the ruling class expands their palaces while the increasingly discordant populace are struggling to get food

Thinking of running for Senate. Do you think my tats are disqualifying?

Designer: all right Mr. Del Toro here’s those Frankenstein’s monster designs, real sexy just like you asked for. Del Toro: (nodding) this is exactly as sexy as I asked for.

if you see this post, your actions are: - if you have a spare buck, give it to Wikipedia, then repost this - if you don't have a spare buck, just repost your action is mandatory for the world's best source of information to survive

imagine this MF calling you "young sapling"

Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla https://theonion.com/man-dies-after-secret-4-year-battle-with-gorilla-1819571099/

“I am not interested, nor will I ever be interested. I'm 61, and I hope to be able to remain uninterested in using it at all until I croak. ... The other day, somebody wrote me an email, said, ‘What is your stance on AI?’ And my answer was very short. I said, ‘I'd rather die.’” 🫡

tua every week apropos of nothing: yeah man i straight up do not got it

Hell yeah.

The inspiration photo all MAGA Makeover people give their plastic surgeon.

Absolutely terrified they might taste something

This is so chaotic!! 😂😂😂😂 #beyonce

A human person put this poor woman in a t-shirt, put a bra OVER the shirt, tucked the shirt INTO THE PANTY, put cheap garters on her, and then had the audacity to look her in the eye and say "Now sell it."

george pickens on every single route he runs for some reason

FRODO:

Posing this like it's worth celebrating is fucking criminal. The players are already complaining about excessive travel and you're gonna make them fly from Spain to Miami mid season for ONE game? The devil works fast but FIFA's financial team works faster j guess...

let him out. #lethimout

my daughter really captured my essence in this portrait of me “at work”

but what we really need is an acetaminophenomenon

Has anybody else heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason?

Somebody please put the Bob's Burgers "THE BREAKS TINA, THE BREAKS!" over this clip

immediately adopting this

Sometimes the people who make Star Trek are cool. (This is Wilson Cruz, who played Dr. Culber on Discovery)

Recency bias and juiced up scoring numbers in modern soccer has y'all cracked the fuck out. Thierry Henry 8 days a week youtu.be/bKZLiBOuJq4?...

Me: What kind of music would you like to listen to during your MRI? Patient: Anything is fine Me: My last patient wanted heavy metal, is that okay? Patient, annoyed: Absolutely not -_-

once in a while i have actual good football thoughts but you gotta get through posts about bill belichick getting finger popped to get there

Currents (@tameimpala) album cover, by @robertbeattyart, 2015, 📸 by @James_vigil_

I'm too progressive to get the full experience out of Stellaris. I'll pick a "fanatic militarist" and then start feeling gross when I do things like carpet bomb planets/recruit slave armies/be a general dick to everyone around me

inject this directly into my eyeballs

universe loading the bases for a walkoff grand slam

May thy ear chip and shatter