What the fuck is this? Admiral Harry Kim? ADMIRAL?! Janeway would have never allowed this to happen.

A friendly reminder: I once wrote a book called 6669: Demon Porn.

Uh . . . Chuck Norris?

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1035

I also have the first issue of . . .

Feetal's Gizz!

The Best Comic Book of the Week is Void Rivals #26. Seeing a Quintesson get punched in one of his faces was great, but you can see how terrifying the Sharktacons can be when going after humanoids rather than, say, Autobots.

Would you put AI in charge of your money? Not just no, but FUCK NO. Yet Bezos is making a bet that you find spending your own money to be a hassle, which I'm sure is true for him. Much like Zuck's problem is having friends, so he assumes that's *your* problem, too. Anyway:

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1034

On my to-do list today, in big bold letters: HANG JOSEY WALES. Then I realized what it looked like. This is what I meant! I promise!

And so Crossed was introduced to the world . . .

He had no friends, this Jonah Hex, but he did have two companions. One was death itself. The other, the acrid smell of gunsmoke.

Also from my collection. No, it's not a reprint.

Remember when this was a thing?

Remember the time I met Lloyd Kaufman?

Also from my collection.

From my collection.

"People just submitted it. I don't know why. They 'trust me.' Dumb fucks."

I was going to write a Goodnight, Fuckers last night, but it was a grueling day, and I didn't get home until 8. I go to bed at 9, so I chalked it up as a loss. I'll have something for you tonight. Unless I get murdered today. You never know.

This day is so fucked, I don't just need a drink. I need a goddam IV drip of Wild Turkey 101, stat.

Truer words, Gowron. Truer words.

Well. I wear a headset, but essentially? Yeah.

I hope this encourages more people to read The Getaway by Jim Thompson. If they think they know the story because they saw the movies, they are sorely mistaken. No one has the balls to film the real ending. For a good time:

Here's an unfortunate thing I just learned. I did a deep clean of my apartment today, so my back and hands are killing me. I took my laudanum, but next on my to-do list is writing. I wrote 2K words in a half an hour, all of them good. No, I can't do that again. I *shouldn't*.

What a great cover.

As DOCTOR WHO says:

From my collection.

Remember when Samantha Carter blew up a star?

It's Dr. Strangelove!

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1033

I love this cover.

ICYMI: If you consider yourself a horror movie expert, I need your help:

If you consider yourself to be a horror movie expert, please, I implore you, read GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1032:

I've always been pretty flexible until recently with all my health problems. After working at it for a bit (and losing a ton of weight, which helped a great deal) I can finally put my good foot behind my head again. The bad one goes as far as the top of my head. Soon. SOON.

Should I get twenty-one guns for the salute?

No, I don't want to know why the bathroom at work smells like fish. Nope. Not at all.

Wouldn’t have made it out of the VEEP writers room

Just out of curiosity, I called 877-TRASH-NOW, and your mom answered.

I just talked to someone named Hunter about setting up a job in Las Vegas. I'm thinking maybe this should be a Fear and Loathing kind of day.

Texas is under a state of emergency due to weather. I can only assume this means Ted Cruz is vacationing somewhere else.

Today I learned that I don't have glaucoma, after all. I'm at high risk, so it's something we have to, ah, keep an eye on. I do, however, have the beginnings of a cataract. Well fuck.

Well, maybe not the symbols and power, but yeah.

Holy shit. Mayberry's own Otis is on this episode of Hogan's Heroes! And he's playing a Nazi!

And palm? What do you do, dare I ask?

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1031

I'm watching a movie called Iced, and is it just me, or is this sorta what it would be like if Broken Lizard did a ski horror flick?

This song came up on my Spotify, and I thought, I love Zero Ultra Monsters. I'll give it a shot. And now this infernal thing is stuck in my head. Time to spread the love to all of you unsuspecting souls:

This is pretty accurate, especially if I'm describing the old TV show, Gotham.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1030

This is good work. Whoever did this? I salute you.