GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1071

I'm watching the final season of Billy the Kid, and there's a scene where a pregnant woman is invited over for drinks, and she turns him down because she wants to focus on her baby. Not because drinking while pregnant is bad. Turns out, that discovery was made during my lifetime.

Ah jeez.

Remember a while back when I learned that I might have glaucoma? I learned today that I don't. Also, the 'Beetus hasn't hurt my eyes yet. Now if only the floaters would go away.

If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1070

Same as it ever was.

That UFO one looks good.

FORT HILL REMAINS:

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1069

These just went into my hands.

I wrote GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1068 last night, but before I posted it, I realized I might have put myself in a position to be sued for libel. I was too high to make that judgment last night, but now I feel more confident with the tweaks I made. So:

Holy shit!

Remember the time I caught the Red Death.

Portrait of the Fucker as a Young Man. I was probably 20 at the time.

Going forward, all my work emails will begin like this:

Well fuck.

I just heard a child in the courtyard yell, "What the fuck?!" She said it with such authority and confidence, like she's been practicing all her life. They are now shouting "fuck you" at each other. None of them are older than 8. Tops. The kids are all right.

I've noticed that the Greek Row revelers have been building to a fever pitch lately. I then realized, oh, they're graduating. Of course they're constantly screaming their pleasure at the world. They know the real world is waiting for them around the corner with a club.

Ah jeez.

Copy and paste.

Blain could fix a lot of movies, actually.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1067

Define "accidentally."

Now entering the final season of Hogan's Heroes.

Last night I wrote GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1066. I decided not to post it, as it deals with an AI author scam that has *not* happened yet. I detailed how one would do it, and I realized putting that info out there is a terrible idea. 1/2

The doctor who took two of my toes has just retired. If he wants any more of them he's gonna have to come after me.

Pretty much.

Ah jeez.

Worst crossover ever: American History X-Men

Funny how the all the people ransacking the Capitol on January 6 were liberals, plants, and ANTIFA—until there was money to be made from it.

I remember this one time I found a couple of mystery pills at a rundown motel I stayed at maybe 10-12 years ago. They looked sorta like Vicodin, so I took them. I was not disappointed.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1065

Its been 3 years and 301 days since my last drink, yet I feel like I'm hungover this morning. Talk about unfair. If I'm going to feel like this, I should have at least had a fifth of bourbon the night before. What the fuck?

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1064

Now entering the series finale of The Boys.

Be careful out there, everyone.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1063

I've been going through some shit, but one really good thing about being me right now is, because I no longer work in the office twice a week, the last time I got gas for my car was on April 16. I have to go to Elmhurst tomorrow, so I just got it filled up again.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1062

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1061

This seems to imply that you own a house. You mean, like, those one-family buildings you live in where you pay mortgages instead of rent? Impossible. In this economy?

I'm gonna take a second to toot my own damn horn. I'm a good salesman. Not great, just good. Except the last three days, I have made 73 sales. Over that time, I'm required to get only 30. All I can say is, fuck yeah. All right, as you were.

I almost expressed my relief at working in shoes instead, but, ah, I worked in shoes.

I have a couple of questions. One, when did the butler take his gloves off? And two: why? Something fishy's going on in this meme.

I'm willing to test this theory

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1060

It will make you big and strong, in your eyes a flaming glow.