Meet @mattdinniman.bsky.social on his book tour! I wish he were coming closer than Sacramento.

MONGO IS APPAULED

Introducing a special friend in need of a loving home: Cupcake (149137), located in Baton Rouge, LA. Learn more: https://www.petfinder.com/dog/cupcake-149137-74965733/la/baton-rouge/companion-animal-alliance-la65/

hold your grudge close as a lover. age it gently for years in a cool dry place. sip it on special occasions.

I need to make a browser extension that makes every news site have the same design as @theonion.com

DOOM DONG SOLVES BOTH PROBLEMS

I'm greatly disappointed that the results for "adult bath toys" does not include a hydroelectric powered device that runs DOOM. It's dildos all the way down. You'd be surprised how often I fall in this trap.

I've also gained 10lbs since joining a gym, because somebody forgets to eat before going and ends up binging on fast food immediately after. Pro Tip: Don't do this.

I went to a bat mitzvah last weekend where they had an airbrush booth. So I made some unlicensed @katie.bzky.team merch, I like the official stuff better.

Power outages have been terrible this storm season. I've spent more time without power this year than any other year. Expect me to vanish regularly until winter storm season is over

this times a million. the hate those with disabilities get is off the charts. work to destroy the eugenicist mindset that is unfortunately hiding behind a lot of our notions about the world.

Look, I'm not a fancy CEO guy, but if someone said to me "the key to this successful single-player IP's success is to make it purely a multiplayer game. No, not a spin off: fundamentally change the DNA of what people loved about the core game" to me, I'd probably, like, quit that job or something.

Vampirefreaks but for actual vampires

One of my first startup jobs was for a company that was like MySpace for dead people. I still can't believe that sentence is real no matter how many times I type it.

WOOOO my hobbit just gave my overnight sous vide steel cut oats a "This could be my daily morning meal" It only took ONE iteration

at 2pm BRT!!! stay tuned!!

Gonna cost me 5k ish to fix my baby's knee.

I've been kinda sucky on bluesky for over a month and I'm sorry. My head is up my bum cause I don't have anything good to say and I've just been talking at people instead of with them. When I get needy, I tend to withdraw especially when I know there are people that need empathy more than I do.

I have asked my employer to pay me in eggs.

Mommy issues.

I FOUND another source for Kindred: The Embraced after my last one got DMCA'd This time no more public sharing, if you want the playlist DM me.

Houston, it's me, hi. I'm the problem it's me.

I need more nerdy shirts that match my cane

Referring to my binders as "My bros"

CALIFORNIA- Write to @schiff.senate.gov and @padilla.senate.gov and tell them to get off their asses and scream about Elon Musk illegally talking over our treasury: www.padilla.senate.gov/contact/cont... www.schiff.senate.gov/contact/ Do this every day. More important than doom posting here.

in the gooned club. straight up "djenting it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My peanits.

This is right up there with people on R/tipofmyfork discovering that chickens have feathers. Good stuff.

How did I ever think that replacing couples therapy with going to the gym with my spouse was a better idea? The child in me that would do practically anything for access to a pool really fucked up this time.

(a link is better than just a name, nate)

Nah, nahnahnah- I’m not responsible for that one!

Now taking applications (Comic from @privateeyenews.bsky.social)

A cat is just a bag o puddin

Redditor: you mean we could have been milking our cats this whole time???

1249 users have opted in to skeetstats so far! if you want to be in the next update tag me with the command !optin

r/RedditDiscoverNipples is my favourite thing online currently. I appreciate that it's a spectator sport to watch for people learning about pet nipples for the first time

I've been spending nights awake perfecting my japanese DIY candy kits

Fantastic Four assumes we don’t want the planet to be eaten. I, for one, think we have it coming.

Wear sunscreen?

Spending the night seasoning a molcajete Like you do?

i made frozen arbys curly fries instead and my own horsey sauce

"I've lost control of my life" kitchen, ep 3. Chicken & Fractal Cauliflower with mushroom, basil, and cream sauce over noodles

Worst boy band ever.

Introducing a special friend in need of a loving home: Reese Puff, located in Troy, AL. Learn more: https://www.petfinder.com/small-furry/reese-puff-56613862/al/troy/troy-animal-rescue-project-al436/

Plugging will continue until I achieve enough income to survive thx

I got to see wind slam a composting bin into a water pipe so hard it bust. I also am now waiting for the plumber. Oh happy day.

Ziggy: if Resting Grumpy Face was a person. 😁