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@pocalypsecow.bsky.social
📤 653
📥 728
📝 11994
Making it awkward.
My daughter wants Pokémon cards for her birthday. How the fuck is everywhere sold out of Pokemon cards?
about 7 hours ago
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Memento (artemis) Morty 🌙
1 day ago
These motherfuckers
add a skeleton here at some point
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I could be trusted with pyrokinesis
2 days ago
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I flicked someone off that doesn’t live here for taking a resident parking space and you’d think I kicked their kid or something. Fuck you you don’t live here move. They’ve not moved despite offering to.
2 days ago
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So my daughter is turning 17 in a few weeks and I asked her what she wanted for her birthday figuring it’d be like a car or headphones or something but she wants Pokémon cards. Y’all, Pokémon cards are expensive!
3 days ago
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*puts down can of spray paint, steps away from newly striped poodle* who doesn’t like zoodles?
add a skeleton here at some point
4 days ago
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No one should be begging for money for fucking hospice care, let them die with some damn dignity
4 days ago
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The guy next to me has on 2 hats. Just a hat on a hat.
4 days ago
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Reports that the whopper has been improved have been vastly overstated. Still tastes like a microwaved shoe.
5 days ago
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It’s happening again
add a skeleton here at some point
5 days ago
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Jill Twiss
6 days ago
Can't stop singing this to the theme of the Muppet Show
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Ya know what the White House has in common with tight jeans? No ballroom.
5 days ago
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Night of the Loving Dead. It’s a porno about interracial zombies fucking.
5 days ago
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Dinosaur pants were very popular in the 90s.
6 days ago
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Something beeps three times every 45 seconds or so and I can’t figure out what it is. This might drive me insaner.
6 days ago
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I’m not gonna take off from work on Friday for the strike I’m just not going to do anything.
6 days ago
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I’m not Bishop good at five finger filet but I still have 10 fingers
6 days ago
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My piss is chartreuse I should probably get that looked at
6 days ago
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If you were as funny as you think you are I wouldn’t have unfollowed you and you probably sell more books. But you’re not so here we are.
6 days ago
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I’m not a bot but I have trouble with the letter captchas and I hate the ones where I identify road hazards
6 days ago
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Ooo tornado sirens
7 days ago
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Sitting at work, applying for other jobs on my phone. As one does.
10 days ago
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I would simply suck my eyeballs through my skull if you tried to Clockwork Orange me into watching that Michael Jackson biopic
10 days ago
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Fuck all these bush era neocons that have been rehabilitated by msnbc/msnow
10 days ago
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Someone in this bar smells like my grandmother’s potpourri
10 days ago
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I’ll be the explosives guy on the heist. Fair warning I learned nothing from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
10 days ago
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Why does everything need to be followed with a survey? You sold me a shitty burger we don’t need to discuss it further.
10 days ago
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It’s cloudy here so I doubt I’ll see any lyrid meteors but I might see some lurid things in my neighbor’s window
11 days ago
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Your mom will never go down as much as this place. And she tries too.
13 days ago
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I don’t typically wish harm upon children but these little fuckers that scream their fucking heads off outside my apartment need to have the transformer they sit on explode on them.
13 days ago
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Pretty sure there’s not supposed to be glass in this poke bowl.
14 days ago
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Why does a chicken need a reason to cross the road? I thought this was a free country!
15 days ago
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Your mom is gonna have to work harder if she’s going to keep up with this site’s rate of going down
17 days ago
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Dean Martin never considers the tidal impact of the moon hitting your eye like a big pizza pie. Also, why is he getting hit in the eyes with pizza?
17 days ago
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Dave Lombardo should be Taylor Swift’s drummer
17 days ago
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Fix one thing, break six more. Fun times at work
18 days ago
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There’s a flamethrower for thirty bucks on Amazon. Do I need a flamethrower? Yeah probably. Do I trust a $30 one from Amazon? No, no I do not.
20 days ago
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Fuck you im not tipping when i pick up carry out.
20 days ago
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I just want to swim out past the breakers and watch the world die.
20 days ago
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I’ve lost the use of my left arm. There’s a dog on it.
20 days ago
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Nothing like having the dog piss all over you when you pick her up at the vet.
21 days ago
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Ladies Love Bean
21 days ago
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Ok so fuck Eric Swalwell he’s a piece of shit
22 days ago
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Some asshole didn’t secure their fucking mattress to their idiot fucking truck and that shit blew out and tore the mirror off my fucking car.
22 days ago
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Lady I already blocked you on instagram and Facebook I don’t think I’m adding you to my LinkedIn network now
23 days ago
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Still thinking about that guy that tastes the ground in The Last Jedi
23 days ago
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I could pilot a ship through the Strait of Hormuz in less than 12 parsecs
24 days ago
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At least the two week cease fire is up before rent is due.
24 days ago
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reposted by
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đź«§ Tyranny Sparkles đź«§
25 days ago
extremely selfishly so, I want these maga fuckers removed from power because I am a trans woman and these people want to kill everyone who is like me and I don’t wanna fucking die okay
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Euphoria has been on so long I was worried about my daughter going to high school. Now she’s almost done and has never done so much work on her eye makeup. So that’s good I guess.
25 days ago
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