This is very Hakeem Jeffries coded

I guess I'd pick something that didn't ultimately sink and kill a lot of people.

My first thought every morning

This is exactly how people should talk to Scott every fucking time he opens his mouth.

Do not accept the idea that local officials can't do anything because the FBI "cut them out." They should run their own investigation. If the Feds try to stop them they should force them to arrest cops and DAs. The mayor should go on TV demanding the release of his officers. No business as usual.

This is what happens when you elect someone willing to fight for the working class — Well done, Mayor

Great day to have functioning eyes and a working brain

100 years from now, people will look at clips like this and be like "Really, that was the guy?"

"America is an oil company with an army." —George Carlin

See. This is why you have congressional authorization for war powers. So, you don’t have a rambling, incoherent executive saying a lot of words that makes you wonder if we’re occupying a country or if there are reservations open at Le Dip.

Julius can also not stop rewatching Heated Rivalry

idk if I have one last week of this (typing at computer) in me 😭

“Don’t replace the culture war with class war” is such a fun way of saying, “Please don’t unionize, I just bought a yacht that parks inside another yacht.”

You guys, if your kid gets liver disease you just have to cash out your Dell bucks that are invested in AI slop machines and Trump crypto coins and you should have more than enough to cover the bill for the hospital that’s 3 counties away and any prescriptions through Trump Rx

America: Did you order the code Red? Hegseth: YOU’RE GODDAM RIGHT I DID! America: Uhm, it’s a crime. Hegseth: Ok, someone else ordered the Code Red.

Thanksgiving adventures

So I’ve made it official folks: I’ve filed the paperwork to run for Governor of Alabama. It’s time to remind this state of who we are and what we can accomplish together. #DougForAlabama

"It honors our country." Yeah, the thing that's going to bring America back to its glory days is me showing up for my Frontier Airlines flight in a tux.

Maybe it wasn’t really about Zelensky’s suit after all? 🤨

Wait, the man who owned teenage beauty pageants and admitted to walking into the changing rooms is a pedophile? I can't believe it.

They’ve laid off so many people that the government is now getting its economic data from DoorDash.

poor children literally went without food. people lost jobs and went into debt and got evicted and sold their cars they need to get to work. people who otherwise would have lived longer will die younger because of the stress of this. people did things for money they can't undo

DNC Vice Chair calls Chuck Schumer's shutdown deal a "mistake"

Husbands with Grindr profiles?

Your cat when you're choking to death in your apartment

BREAKING: In Colorado, Voters approved a ballot measure to raise state income taxes on households earning $300,000 or more in order to fund free meals for all public school students. They voted to raise taxes on the wealthy to pay for free meals for public school students.

I didn’t realize how fucking exhausted I was and I’m so glad to have a moment of hope in 2025

NBC pundits are trying so hard to discredit Mamdani’s win as if Cuomo and his brand of freaks didn’t throw every racist trope in the book at him in their flailing attempt to beat him

Tonight should be a good reminder to Senate Democrats they better not cave.

Wow it turns out the entire country is not permanently reactionary because Trump won an election by 1.5%

Mikie Sherrill being born in VA Abigail Spanberger being born in NJ The old switcharoo

Nothing says “Democratic Leader” quite like “I will not tell you who I voted for in a general election.”

Debra Messing’s Instagram story gonna look like this after Zohran wins ………………………………………………………………………………………

Obama: "The weird videos of a US president with a crown on his head flying a fighter jet & dumping poop on American citizens - that's not even worth booing about. Because all of that is a distraction from the fact that your situation, your life has not gotten better. They do it so you won't notice"

SEATED

Whenever people complain about the number of folks relying on food stamps, it is worth reminding them that SNAP is, by too large of a degree, a subsidy for corporations that refuse to pay a living wage and their political allies who reject public policy prescriptions to reduce income inequality.

I’m voting for whichever presidential candidate promises to strip all the tacky gold out of the oval and the ballroom and turns the ballroom into a women’s history museum.

this but for these and me imagining i’m cruella de vil

The same people who lost their minds over renovations to Cracker Barrel are totally fine with the White House getting bulldozed

Hi. Hello. This is fucking heartbreaking

ICE is now the 13th largest military in the world on its own. Never ever accept the lie we cannot pay for Universal Healthcare.

Third trip in 8 days

Mike Johnson has now had the House adjourned for 72 of the last 84 days. Epstein Shutdown.

I am once again asking you to stop conflating federal politicians you hate with Washington, DC, a 90% Democratic and plurality black city that doesn’t get a vote in Congress but is uniquely vulnerable to federal meddling

me after attending a protest