I had a dream that Hannah Einbinder and I were driving somewhere in a Nissan Leaf and every time we hit a pothole the car literally broke in two and we had to snap the pieces back together and she’d yell WHY DID I BUY THIS NISSAN LEAF as other cars flew past us on the highway

Happy pride month even if you’re not good at it

I forgot I’m supposed to design my gay ERG’s Pride newsletter haha

why are you gay

skeetmaxxing so I can annoymog everyone I think

If you wanted to get me a gift for pride month here it is

I love the stretch of blue line track that gives one the feeling of riding a mechanical bull

when Jon and I picked up our bags from the concierge today the woman at the front desk eyed us and up and down and said “Nice legs. …Both of y’all.” And then her front desk companion said “girl do you need a snickers bar or something calm down.”

The man next to me on the plane has a boudoir photo of his wife as the background on his iPad

ok and then literally right after he wiped out we got upgraded to 1st class lmao and lol

Jon just tripped on the moving sidewalk at DCA

oh for frack’s sake

unrelated: tummy hurts

no protein in Mountain Dew’s American Dew that I am currently drinking at the Abraham Lincoln Memorial but it does have 156% of my daily sugar

somehow managed to burn through the 87 extra shirts I brought on this trip so wrinkled national gallery gift shop t-shirt day it is

just remembered that we swept, mopped, dusted and did all the laundry (and changed over the bed) before we left for vacation….future me about to be so happy comfy cozy walking through the door tonight 😍

well

Hung!(over)

why are we posting photos from 2019

so Susan Boyle’s big reveal was that she recorded a song that will come out “soon” okay good

this mortal coil really pissing me off (my back hurts)

well

A violinist playing at the entrance to the O’Hare blue line station? Now I know we’re in first class.

bobmogged by Susan Boyle again #ad a new era starts tomorrow iykyk

timesheet submitted, Out of Office turned on, still sending emails and reviewing copy 😍

okay sweeties see you on LinkedIn

do you guys think Jon is mad at me he has not responded to the reels I have sent him today

kumori….

quick do I get Superman ice cream or spumoni ice cream help and please hurry

he gave me a weird haircut again and he’s talking about new conspiracy theories I….cannot go through the process of finding a new barber again but perhaps….

69 degrees 😎

all the little creaks and groans of the body….what a pleasure to become conscious each morning

sitting out on the rooftop savoring these first whispers of summer, looking at the gorgeous moon and thinking about how my barber doesn’t believe we ever went there (the first time, or recently when we circled around it)

and while we’re on the subject Edith Piaf had a song called Padam Padam first just so you know okay bye

I hope everyone at the gay beach loves the big red pimple in the middle of my chest (it matches the one in the middle of my forehead) 🔴

well of course I’m going to start a tedious paint job I’ve been putting off for months on the first nice weekend of the year— MDW no less

did you know that the Andersonville Potbelly’s has a gorgeous back patio

stormy weather

every convo I’ve had the last 48 hours has included this — if our forecast doesn’t hold I think there will be a collective gay meltdown Chicago

it is my pleasure to inform you that my hair is doing a cute little curl thing okay goodnight

pizza and martinis on the couch smell ya later losers

our governor made an appearance at a music festival today but not IML. wow.

I only had one martini at Wil’s last night and I still feel like shit good morning!!!!!

omg is @lerrrgan.bsky.social on the Clark bus????

if you aren’t putting fresh fruit in a bowl with some cottage cheese and just piiiinch of salt I simply do not know what to tell you

we did it gang. long weekend mode activate (ok…in like 8 hours)

omg Laurie metcalf on Hacks you are absolutely insane

lol my boss just told me she’s gotten a notification on her phone for every Instant that I have posted on Instagram

help

our new receptionist stocks really good candy at the front desk but getting a piece means having to talk to her …. ugh this life