ok sure

how do they make Hershey kisses so good

feeling powerful

@jamesholod.bsky.social spamming me with voice notes today about his discounted candy hearts he got like I’d be interested in hearing about that 😒

wow I’m drunk

alright it’s time to get @viennabeef.social into the Winter Olympics

ok feeling v cute/productive/mentally healthy having my lil coffee and reading The Plan of Chicago in my lil recliner chair but the urge to Go Online and Buy Things is putting up a v good fight why is spending so fun 😭

“Dude wakes up, explosively shits his pants, pees, and then—[indistincive, too far away]” - bro on his phone, walking his dog past us down Southport Happy Day After Valentines Day

Send this to a comrade you'd like to smash (capitalism with)

my husband is AI happy Valentine’s Day

wow I’m like hungover

Happy Valentimes

hahaha fuck yeah

I know I said I was going to bed at 9:30 but I stayed up too late giggling at silly videos and now I’m too sleepy to work

I’m about to be in bed and it’s not even 9:30 😍😍

ordering my food from a kiosk at a fast casual restaurant rather than interacting with a cashier continues to be an absolute bummer

not even 7am and many people are being mean to me

why didn’t any of you tell me the little Spanish skater wore a minion costume and did a short routine to music sung by the minions

THIS WEATHER IS FAKE DO NOT LET IT DRAW YOU INTO ANY SORT OF HOPEFUL STATE OF BEING

you know who is annoying my cat

oh so all gay people look the same to you

A dresser inside a museum in New York City has been discovered as a secret stop on the Underground Railroad — the first of its kind discovered in Manhattan in over 100 years

gm 😘 🥱

42 degrees feels like summer lobotomize me and set me on the roof thank u

being a vile shithead racist must be so fucking boring and exhausting

what an unhinged cunt 😌

time to go see my favorite play about a woman who is so miserably stuck in her life she decides to ruin everyone around her for fun and when that is not enough she blows her own head off!!!! I love Ibsen so much 😍😍😍😍

and other important updates

animal crackers???? In MY soup?????? Hell yes bitch

going to start referring to gay people as my coworkers

when you pack the dishwasher soooooo tight so full of dirty filthy stuff and you stack everything with such care as to not waste a square inch of space and you blow it a little kiss after hitting start and in the morning everything comes out perfectly clean and dry 🫦

good morning it’s Monday let’s try to take care of each other but, for the love of god, do not email me

I love that we all share one brain cell lol

lady gaga tonight:

Some context from that Lays ad. People are very stupid and don’t realize that potato chips are literally made out of potatoes. That’s why they were parading around a potato in that ad like it’s the fucking Rosetta Stone.

my Olympics commentary is very good take my word for it

when she said Let’s makeout Let’s make out let’s makeout that was lyricism

imagine if Britney made another Pepsi commercial

tell me where the lie is

Wait, THIS is young Anton Chekhov? This? Good lord. Let that gun go off, daddy

gm it snowed?

can u guys stop sharing the AI generated photos of the Obamas actually

BREAKING: As the Super Bowl gets ready to kick off in Las Vegas, someone just protected this video onto a building there! It’s the “P-do Bowl” featuring the men who are in the Epstein files the most. Hint: Donald Trump, Howard Lutnick and Steve Bannon are the all-stars of this game.

AI…. FBI….

is going to the gym

feeling powerful (bought a new dining room table)

you guys like kissing or is that gay now

I want candy who’s with me

why is plucking a single nose hair the most painful thing on the fucking PLANET