Mark Wahlberg should play James Bond.

my large adult dog got too wound up the other day and made a slash across my arm with her giant paw and then a few days ago she did the same thing in the other direction so now I’m going to have a huge X scar on my arm. it looks cool as hell and i’m trying to hype her up into doing it to my face

Hantavirus is no joke 😂 That's why I've started washing my hands after touching rat feces 🐀 What are doing differently to fight hantavirus?💪

Just heard someone say that the new Mortal Kombat movie was written by the person who wrote Moonlight and I was like ok now this is interesting but then I looked it up and it was Moon Knight

BAGGER: (spilling my groceries on the floor) Oh God. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I'm supposed to do. ME: How are you supposed to do it? MANAGER: She means she was gonna be a fox. In the woods and shit. But something happened and she got stuck. BAGGER: (crying) Got so stuck.

I'm living my life and I'm proud of my life even though it's too small for all my dreams at once. Even though I started on the wrong foot. Even though it is often a humiliation.

Mural, East Side, Chicago

A bunch of extremely beautiful pictures of wind farms in China - all photographs by Weimin Chu e360.yale.edu/digest/china...

if you hit the skip intro button when watching deep space nine it doesn't make you a bad person but it does leave a tiny and indelible wound on your soul each time you do it.

Major Kira seems like someone who would have absolutely fucking unreadable handwriting.

With the release of his twangy bro-power anthem "My Wife and My Truck Don't Get Along", rural troubador Carlin McRib is being hailed as the latest in a long line of truck-positive musical acts, joining such esteemed company as Tyler Trailer and the Hitches, Josephina Tires, and The Rusted Chevy Boys

Fox MCCLOUD (Scottish) Peppy O’HARE (Irish) Falco LOMBARDI (Italian) Slippy TOAD (Frog)

King of Dragon Pass (1999)

I personally love to read shit like "U.S. Pauses 'Project Freedom'" in headlines. Not all good jokes need to be complicated.

I saw this out of the corner of my eye and I thought they gave the model an Id software-ass four barreled shotgun.

Going to r/cruise and seeing people say “you can only get this disease from breathing in a ton of rat shit so it probably didn’t happen on the boat” sure man, whatever you gotta tell yourself

Hot Pink Strider, also known as Hot Pink Aragorn son of Hot Pink Arathorn.

TIME AND TIDE (Tsui, 2000)

3yo told a stranger at the gas station I let him drink gasoline as a baby

this is what it's like to play the half-life mod The Specialists

(38 year old voice) i made cds on mommy’s beige puter

YOU - “I approve of this, very futuristic.” (Tap on the girls kissing.)

Okay sure, but at least we don’t have to deal with flukemen anymore

We need a leftist Andrew Tate. We need a leftist Fox News. We need a casino where you don't gamble and they give you free money. I refuse to understand the ecosystem I'm in the center of and I will not leave or modify my behavior. We need leftist McNuggets

yalls ever notice how absolutely fucking miserable the Seahawks logo looks? he doesn't want to be here, he wants to go home.

We can't Balkanize along age or class lines. We need to do the other thing.

why breed dogs with jaws large enough to tear through Flesh, when you could breed dogs with minds large enougj to tear through Fallacy.....

Get in the EVA Gumby

Socrates: and what is the purpose of a screen? Gloucon: to look at S: just so. And where does one look when driving? G: at the road S: and does a man’s gaze best view object at a time, or two? G: surely just one S: indeed - thus it cannot be proper for a car to have a screen

???? If it helps gas prices he should absolutely do this

is it worse if Mr. Beast's milk is extracted by a machine or a milk maid?

Something instead of nothing

I bet it's really relaxing to be a six pixel guy driving a ten pixel car in a 320 pixel world.

Getting my wisdom teeth removed by court order because my insights are too profound and dangerous

I bet it feels cool as hell to eat this with five friends

As soon as you get your head clear for the first time, you start moving in a way that alerts all the flora and fauna around you that were benefiting from your disarray.

most people don't know that Tolkien used the word "boner" a non-zero amount of times in his fantasy novels.

it's cool that they used a photo of her where she looks like a dracula.

“The president is clearly enraged at somebody, but the clip provides far too little context to know who exactly is meant to be targeted,” said political analyst Allen Mueller

Van Gogh spent a lot of time in Arles, France. There's a restaurant that used to be a hotel where Van Gogh stayed and in a letter he wrote that the food was bad and they overcharged him for wine. Directly next door, sharing a wall, is this Dragonball-themed barbershop.

"If you were in charge of Star Trek what would you do?" Miles O'Brien has a new bad time every single episode for a season