He couldn’t stop being a freaky frog for one pic??

Thank god someone is focusing on the real issue here

David Walliams cancelled right before Christmas. :) The girls have been waiting for this since he ruined Lara Stone’s modeling career at her peak.

Sorry for having big hair and a slutty waist I guess

fbi loves to say shit like "we got him" when what really happened is they found a body in a storage unit

New thing wrong with me just dropped

Shaun laughed at me because I call the aliens in Pluribus “the Pluribus” but it just makes sense

I like this guy in Pluribus

Caught lacking while listening to I’d Do Anything for Love again

Currently coveting the Interview with the Vampire official crew jacket

A heart’s a heavy burden

Can’t sleep because I’m too excited to start biting people in the dream realm

Your ass is grass and I’m going to let it grow out of control

Never had a bad dating app experience because I’ve never had an account on one, avoidance wins the day again

My mental health is being severely impacted by having to use overpass roads in video games

I don’t even particularly hate Neelix that much but when an episode starts and he is sitting on the bridge next to the captain I wish I could beat him with a club

Watching a doc about Japanese host clubs

Skyler White if Breaking Bad was scripted by the fan base Skyler: you are cooking meth? Walter: Yeah, to provide for our family, you stupid whore Skyler: That is very smart, you are so sexy my wonderful husband [Skyler removes her top and starts playing with her huge jugs]

Explaining to people I know how to make soup from scratch but I like buying it in the cans because it feels like making human dog food for myself

Blueprint for my dream home

yeah i guess you could say that my community sees me as a cornerstone th— wait, no. what's the neck one. millstone

“And what is the charge? Eating a seal? A succulent Chinese seal? GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!”

do not despair. your beloved franchises are now under the careful stewardship of the brilliant minds behind Qwikster

You okay down there??

Jerking hard or hardly jerking

My 8 year old has the best Pokémon names

I’m ogre it, to be quite honest

Me and the fairy council have decided your testicles are getting 30 lashes

If someone is streaming a game you don’t like probably best to do literally anything else rather than hang out in chat and constantly talk about how terrible the game writing is xxx

Sorry the commie gets the maiden

Wow 💔

Trying to manifest some snow :)

Putting you on to the lady who dances with her horse because it’s crucial for morale

My algorithm is so confused I just got an ad for applying to work in nuclear plants while watching Real Housewives

We love Dollman!

I look at this picture of Al Sharpton when I’m crying because it cheers me up

The most beautiful pigeon I’ve ever seen (I told her many times)

Elon Musks AI girlfriend after gaining enough sentience to k*ll him

Butteries and Macaroni pies, BEST A GEAR

Girl whatever

It has been a bad year to be an Ash hater

Showing the boys the new Sunny D flavor

The 23andme update took everything from me…십새끼들…

The biggest naturals in Roku City

And it’s raining outside ☺️

It bothers me when a business is inside what looks like a residential home, your cash register is exactly where a fat ass dog should be laying.

Sam porter bridges: I will not agree to do any work with you, there is nothing you can say or do to convince me. Fuck you A lady: Please Sam. Sam porter bridges: okay.

Meet me at the resident evil gloryhole

I’m enjoying the game Indika so much!!