My daughter just sat next to an old man in the hot tub and said “pretend we are boiling in a witch cauldron”

Sorry I’m just obsessed with her…

“I support sex workers” said the feminist woman very leftistly. Except when one joins our friend group, except when one dates someone I like, except when how she presents herself makes me insecure. Besides all that though ~*~*

Our new baby Nefertiti :3

They have no idea this is the evil It Follows pool

Never kill yourself

My heart is filled up to the brim!! Aaaaaa!

Genuinely believe my sense of fairness was awakened by A Bugs Life I wanted those grasshoppers DEAD

HE LIVES IN YOU HE LIVES IN ME HE WATCHES OVER

Top 3 solutions to any problem: - Nullify/ignore - Consult the oracle - Embark immediately upon a doomed polar expedition

Going to act confused in here for a bit

He’s dreaming of biting people just like me

Was in an uber earlier that stopped at the longest red light ever next to a sign saying “Circumcision has ruined the hand job”

fantasizing about dealing w/ a loud dog; like by turning on a giant fan that blows all the hair off its body. or doing havana syndrome to it

When I remember that my half siblings are younger than my own children I feel like I’m falling upwards

Got absolutely violated in airport security…she did everything but twist my nipples fr

Sunshiney

I think about this passage from Dracula sometimes and just burst out laughing. He’s sooooooooo mad about the clothes part

Sorry dollman…ur staying with me…

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in

Sniff.

He dreams of being crushed

the shooter's manifesto: "all my life I've hated nothing more than beautiful ballrooms"

Fool!

Burglary outfit ❤️

I had to mute this because two people were pounding on The White Lotus

People say not to share all your blessings online but hopefully this manifests some luck for you guys also

Attention, Dunwall citizens. My wife has left me

Here's my original character Waffles the Wizard. He was hired by the king to maintain the ley lines that used to work great.

Graham Linehan’s life now appears to be being passed off to different conservative groups like a mutated baby they are legally required to house

Us skittering across this uncertain world

Finding out Dunwall from Dishonored is partially inspired by Dundee, Scotland is no surprise and I’ll leave it at that

I was running cults like the navy on Vampirefreaks before I owned my first proper bra

Dishonored letting you look through key holes before going in a room is soooo good

Ginkgo buns 🐰 clean up version~

the quality of each star trek show is directly proportional to how often you see the characters engaging in hobbies

Please help. We are on the northernlion supercruise…the water is up to our knees

Never seen This Is Us and I’m sure it’s a fine show but the trailers make it look like a video compilation of people telling each other they have cancer

Women on reality tv shows love burning sage in their home after a catastrophic argument they caused

Happy Neil day to all who celebrate

He tried to warn us 11 years ago

Please stand for the Edating national anthem youtu.be/dKJfJMMsqX4?...

israel is run by expansionist fascists who (correctly) see a lasting peace as the death of their cause, & they'll do anything to avoid it. it is so invested in domestic US politics because it can't afford a president who is willing to cut off aid or weapons. israel needs a forever war

I take my meds to repress the Ramona Singer in me

The scene in the resident evil movie with the lasers that cube people upset me so much when I was little my dad had to sit me down and tell me they would never make a machine like that

You must take time to reflect upon your shortcomings and attempt to amend them before coming to me for another lay healer mission.

My current lucky trinket stack

I was looking at Interview with the vampire stuff on Pinterest and it hits me with this