I rode it well. 上手に乗れましたっ☆

The Epstein files were due 167 days ago. The survivors waited decades to be heard. The public has waited 167 days past the deadline. Every day the files remain withheld raises the same question: Who benefits from this? At some point, the delay itself becomes part of the betrayal to Americans.

Great news: any amount of snoring I ever do is now ✨cured✨ by my cat’s simple act of sticking his whOLE FOOT IN MY MOUTH WHILE I’M DEAD ASLEEP

Fire, and lots of it!

"Well, enjoy your perverse enjoyment!" -#61 on the list of "dumb things I have actually said on business calls"

"He wants to fly into the hand of Michelangelo, and come out painted on a ceiling." Anne Sexton / The Ambition Bird

“I’m Kid Rock.” “I’m Naomi Wolf.” “I’m Kanye West.” “I’m Matt Taibbi.” “I’m Catturd. Those stories, plus Rob Schneider, tonight on 60 Minutes.”

just answered a spam call that began witn an AI generation of my own voice talking to the AI spammer. not sure what the angle was but that was deeply unsettling

"Achilles Sulking In His Tent"

Did someone say "write about the people I dont like going to hell because Inferno was the original Burn book?"

succeeding *because* they do dogshit work, too

I am happy they reconsidered.

I made a comic for Trans Day of Visibility but I've now been diagnosed with ADHD so, we know where that went. It'll be uploaded in parts. Happy Pride. Thank you for being here. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️❤️

Seeing a cybertruck in the wild in Beloit and all I can think is "...puts the 'dum' in 'dumpster'."

You think Geddy Lee ever worries about how, if someone hums the opening bars to LIMELIGHT, it’s impossible to tell the difference between the opening bars to the THREE’S COMPANY theme?

Full statement of Scott Pelley after he's fired from CBS 60 Minutes, detailing the sort of corruption of journalism Bari Weiss has brought to CBS News:

Imagine if a woman president crashed the economy and started a war with no end in sight, and her biggest, seemingly ONLY concern was building a ballroom and redecorating the White House.

Our feral cats have a mating ritual as ancient as it is horrifying. Tickets are $40.

Hamburgers aren’t made of ham and cheeseburgers aren’t made of cheese and we live in a prison of lies

the one thing these people cannot countenance is being Accurately Described. all of this is happening because the internet provided a means for people to Accurately Describe them to their faces. and they lost their fucking minds

the empire's elite has untaught itself about what is to its benefit and now it just kind of randomly does stuff, dismantling all the things that have made it rich and powerful, not out of desperation or ambition but just sheer ignorance

Right! it terrifying that we went from fun to "your actual face could be hacked and sown onto an Ai tulpa for advertising" I'm sorry that's scifi horror shit.Take me back to gathering around the village well at dawn.

“.. The U.S. is now spending more on data center construction than on public transportation infrastructure, according to new Census Bureau figures out today.” @bloomberg.com www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

Makes me think about our modern idea of "If you can't do it professionally, why are you bothering to do it?" when it comes to hobbies. Painting, crafting, DIY, playing an instrument, and more is treated like a waste of time if you can't turn it into a side hustle, so many abandon their hobbies.

"I would rather use AI than be a writer." There. Fixed. I usually get paid to edit, but I can't expect this pro-AI dude to be able to edit, that would be deeply unreasonable.

having a podcast is fun because one day you talk shit into a microphone for an hour while in a blacked out haze, and then two weeks later, you get 100 comments online about how you fucked up by not knowing a character from The Andy Griffith Show (1960-1968)

Proof copy of my next story collection looks good! I'll try at some point to do a picture where it doesn't look like I just sneezed a glowing bogey in it.

'you have a new message in your portal. confirm your appointment. log in to finish your paperwork. confirm your appointment. take our survey. confirm your appointment. how did we do? confirm your appointment. give us a rating on google. confirm your appointment. sign up for another portal. confirm-'

my elderly Egyptian Uber driver happily informed me that he “supports the gays now” because he lives with a lesbian couple and “the husband lesbian is a better husband than I was”, happy pride everyone

HOORAY FOR MY NICE TRANS FRIENDS!!!

Mockery is a legitimate form of protest and people underestimate how much bigots hate it.

Few things make me more nervous than absolute confidence, except perhaps the absolute confidence of the rich and powerful.

A lot of news might be *worse* but I don't know if there's anything quite as *emblematic* for our current moment as the fuckin Candy Crush guy saying "science is for losers ya gotta listen to chatgpt"

Anyone actually read the CVS receipt? Really good coupons. Mine from today had $4 off your next purchase, buy one get one belly rub, Pharmacist for a Day, all you can eat catfish, free oil change (valid only at pharmacy drive thru), cosmetics aisle ghost tour, and a kiss from the general manager.

"Welcome to Podcast: The Podcast. It's the show where we discuss podcasts that have guests on discussing their own podcasts. How are you today Roger?" "I'm just barely holding on, Bob." "Me too, Roger. Me too."

Restaurants need to stop with the QR code menus. I came here for a meal, not to day trade crypto.

I wish your special interest was making good decisions

Yes. Using a computer now feels like this at all times.

You used to be able to google the time of the sunset, and Google would give you the exact time right on top every single time. Thankfully, with artificial intelligence, you can now ask Google what time the sun will set and it will conveniently tell you "I don't know."

I can think of one time on Twitter when someone replied snarkily, and I was like, “Hey, are you having a hard day?” and they said yes and apologized. I think about that a lot.

I think it’s important for everyone to know that since nothing actually gets measured, you can just SAY that AI has made you 5x as productive, and it will just be accepted. If there’s any resistance, just sigh and look sad that the organization isn’t “keeping up” With technology.

giving a 1-star review to a book 'cause the edge of page 261 gave me a paper cut

consider the person on the other side of the screen

Huge amount of daily newspaper output for years now has been “I relentlessly behave like an abysmal arsehole about absolutely everything, and nobody pats me on the head and says Well Done”. Or, alternatively, “I was acting like an aggro dickhead and people told me to fuck off, it’s totalitarian”

I mean... this is just the Hallmark channel model, right? Horror & romance are the genres where the appetite is INSATIABLE and it doesn't have to be high budget. Romance = few effects, horror = less demand for A-list stars.

IMPORTANT: For any artists/writers/etc etc, using Linktree to point people to their work, from 5 July, they'll be feeding all imagery you use on your landing page into DALL-E by OpenAI. I deleted my account this morning.

In the short time between when I wrote EMILY SPEAKS and now, it has gone from cautionary tale to nostalgic better past. gregstolze.com/downloads/em...

@bsky.app You're overreaching. The nuclear block is good. The pre-emptive mute is bad.