let's spend the beautiful golden autumnal equinox indoors online together

Back in my day we didn’t have “tide pods” we had to drink it straight from the bottle.

God said to Abraham: 🔪👶 Abraham: 😂 God: 😑 Abraham: 😳

Like most children who grew up in the 80s and 90s I am terrified of gingivitis

I’ll be deactivating this account in a few days. If any of you want to find me I’ll be over at @flanneloccluded.bsky.social

Toad played the piano, and he did not miss a note.

Bankruptcy due to premature rapture preparations.

Going to be in my mind palace for a bit. Catch up with y’all in a few days.

Soundtrack for mind palace ikebana

Romancing THREE kingdoms?! Woah, you must get up very early in the morning.

Wow, RIP Robert Redford. Good day to watch sneakers I guess.

it's cool how we get to wake up every day and do the same shit all over again

Stuart Restoration bf, Glorious Revolution gf

Free Shipping means you can romantically pair some characters in your head without any additional charge

a few months ago a mutual wrote me a script which allowed me to grab all the stupid photoshops and memes I had created on my last account before I deleted it so here's a small dump of some

Guess who has an 8 year old that is now fixated on Guy Fawkes

My daughter is 6 and hasn’t lost any teeth yet. All of a sudden she has 4 loose teeth.

My face when I’m gonna block someone

Journeyman poster

*soft Great British bake off voice In this challenge, the bakers will need to incorporate a fresh, Hibernian Leprechaun

Bringing back halibut/hell of it jokes

Ordering a burrito “Estupido Style” and refusing to elaborate

Me after one energy drink

My mind palace is a motel with free HBO and a buzzing neon NO VACANCY sign

Lucky guess at my name

people who don’t follow me tend to be unattractive - just an observation

I’m reposting a lot because the moots are on fire right now

"grief, for a lack of a better word, is good" - wall street charlie brown

May all your emails be cc:s, may all your meeting requests be optional 🙏

When a fascist tries to get me fired

I hate it when my haters cross the river Isen on midsummer's eve, disguised as riders in black.

Wes Craven’s The Notebook

Nicholas Sparks’ Nosferatu

Mail

So you want to live in a majority English speaking country that’s not lost its mind challenge

Mute this user for: ⚫ 30 days ⚫ Forever 🔘 The rest of the sporting event they're watching

Time to get to work

Guy who's only into the Robert Patrick X-Files era

Every X-Files episode is like DETROIT, MICHIGAN [mountainous conifer forest] PENSACOLA, FLORIDA [mountainous conifer forest] DEVIL'S HELL, NEW MEXICO [mountainous conifer forest]

Discovery of prehistoric tech deck suggests early humans knew how to shred

Also this one!: www.tomfriedmanartist.com/work/dates/1...

Tom Friedman (commentator): Ambassador of Nonsense (Derogatory) Tom Friedman (artist): Ambassador of Nonsense (Complimentary)

External sender is a good pseudonym

Tom Friedman: Ambassador of Nonsense

Fumbling Towards Glasnost: A Coming of Age Story