Nice chair you’ve got there. Be a shame if someone extended their claws through its upholstery.

44.8 in our neighbourhood today. That’s Too Hot™️

Quite funny to see people complaining that now bluesky has *too much* political discourse.

[Clint Eastwood being walked naked through Alcatraz in Escape From Alcatraz] welcome to Asscatraz

I hope everyone is stockpiling their piss because we are going to need to dump it on a lot of graves.

Well that’s all right then. Just so long as there will be people going “what the fuck?” as it’s being done anyway.

Broke my wrist because the PE teacher had us running backwards up and down the gym.

Now that STRANGER THINGS is over, where will children with annoying faces find work?

If you’re in a movie and they have to use a prosthetic head for when your character gets decapitated or whatever, do you get to take the head home with you after? I would definitely have that in my contract.

😕

(Me watching a horror movie) I hope that never happens to me

Most embarrassing empire ever. Conquistadors of cringe. Veni, vidi, whatever the Latin is for “I stepped on a bunch of rakes in someone else’s yard having myself sold them the rakes back when we were allies.”

When the greenies hit

I’ll spare you the sentence with which Gaiman ends his introduction to Pat Cadigan’s Synners - let’s just say it reads poorly in light of later events. But I do want to flag the stupendous tosserishness of that “in transit”.

My most watched actor and director of 2025 giving kombucha meme vibes

Name an intolerable American war crime that isn’t Alice In Chains or Soundgarden

I spent two whole days offline with no news and no social media (The Guardian, give me a column) and within twenty minutes of me downloading the bluesky app all this shit happened.

You want book? I get you special book just for you my friend

Corfe Castle, the model of Corfe Castle in Corfe Castle Model Village, and the model of Corfe Castle in the model of Corfe Castle Model Village in Corfe Castle Model Village.

Please tell me movies in which a firearms salesperson is shot by the person they’re selling firearms to. I have The Terminator and The Guest but I feel like I’ve seen this a lot.

nice qualities bro. Any of them redeeming?

I said Holly Valance was the worst living Australian and some rando told me that actually I hold that title because I have pronouns in my bio.

“the Jimmy Buffett” should be a reincarnated spiritual leader like the Dalai Lama. a living demigod of relaxation

8 1/2 Warios (Peter Greenaway, 1999)

The Saints first album is the greatest punk album. perfected the genre right there

Imagine if there were punk bands from places other than the US and UK

Post a perfect albumen from the 90s

If you think Brigitte Bardot’s politics were bad I urge you to do some research into the fellow I like to call the Cheeto in Chief!

Brigitte Bardot had a complicated legacy. She was very racist and not a good actor but had a nice bum | me for The Guardian

🎶 you are

Did Henry James actually say "Tell a dream, lose a reader"? It's always sounded fishy to me. This thread suggests it's a writerly saw that was attached to James by Martin Amis in his essay on Ulysses (which may be where I first encountered it).

Probably the worst part of being a mouse is having to act happy about sleeping in a sardine can

In his learned history of ass, The Rear View, Jean-Luc Hening describes Brigitte Bardot’s “insolent, sulky animal buttocks - one of the peaks of creation .”

New additions

#3: Holding an empty wooden bowl and asking, "Please, may I have some more?"

Not sure if A House of Dynamite is actually a “good” movie but it’s certainly upsetting!

Watching A House of Dynamite and President Idris Elba is in the Oval Office drinking a takeaway coffee. My god, man, have an espresso machine installed onsite!

2026 PIN number sounding ass year. That's my freaking PIN number

Things I look up every year: - why is it called Boxing Day? - why is it called a Yule Log? I am incapable of retaining this information.

As always I'd like to thank my Christmas sponsor, diazepam.

davidbeardsley.bandcamp.com #JustIntonation

Starting a cult around the idea adults don't need every twitch of youth culture explained to them. Why are kids moving their hands up and down, saying things that make no sense? Because they're fucking babies. They've just discovered their hands and don't have language yet. Go read a goddamn book.

The thing I find weird about Die Hard is a Christmas movie discourse is… the movie is overtly a Christmas movie? It’d be like if every year people posted “JUST A REMINDER A CHRISTMAS STORY IS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE”

Mel Gibson’s The Flagellation of Ebenezer Scrooge

Had to turn this off after fifteen minutes. Completely unlikeable main character. More degenerate so-called “art” from our ivory tower elites.

What a beautiful winter haiku.