EARLY CAT: What that? HUMAN: A fish. You can eat them. EARLY CAT: Mine now. I need it. I need the fish. Without fish I die. Gimmie fish. HUMAN: But you're from the desert. How can you possibly- EARLY CAT: WOE. WOE FOR KITTY. HUMAN INFLICTS A THOUSAND WOES ON- HUMAN: God. Fine. Have it.

Lithgow saying that a family friend with a trans kid came to him and literally said “please don’t do this” and he did it anyway really gives the game away. they don’t not know

I need to replace my car battery and I'm lazy so I've been doing the thing that takes 3x more effort and taking the bus. ... I couldn't say this if I HAD to do it every single time every day: But damn. I missed riding the bus. You mean I can zone out and scroll and 20 minutes later I'm there?

It is an acceptable risk that some people who don’t “deserve” it accidentally get help, if it means everyone who needs it is guaranteed to get help.

Please read this thread.

i hope every single person who still buys harry potter merch or engages with that franchise is happy that they're literally making girl guides cry girl guides uk have been forced very much against their will to exclude trans girls. full statement is here: www.girlguiding.org.uk/information-...

No-strings-attached, zero-means-testing, no-questions-asked cash payouts have been proven, over and over again, to be the most effective form of charity/aid going. It gets people in housing, and it saves the state money. We know this. It's fact, not theory.

"We could just stop by the gas station, grab some drinks and go to your place." "But Lauren... THAT GAS STATION BURNED DOWN 70 YEARS AGO." "Well, good. Should be full of spirits." *self high five*

This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥

Day late, but watching Murderville: Who Killed Santa and Maya Rudolph is the funniest human alive.

Nap gang here is the most a religion has ever made me feel welcome.

Watching Silicon Valley with a friend who Was There who has never seen it. They were so precise it is somewhat difficult to parse "That was several years ahead" vs. "It's a joke because it was already passé." But camo cargos, Ehrlich? Universally, timelessly uncool.

I love social media on this holiday because you see home cooks try to pull off feats that a prep cook does daily in their sleep and yet they feel super proud. As well they should. There are plenty of jobs I couldn't just decide to do once a year without massive stress.

A man in flannel pj's asked me for a light and if the liquor store is open. I'm not one to judge, I was outside the dive bar with the good brunch. Also, idk, I drink wine at home, but it's two blocks that way, friend. Happy holidays.

If one Afghan nationalist shooter means all Afghan nationalists are evil, wait until I tell you about white male shooters.

After several 3 pound bags got eaten in record time, I upgraded to the #10. My crow bros will feast. That one squirrel will become fat. Yessss

a hard pill to swallow is accepting that not everyone is going to fw you. even if you haven't wronged them. there are always going to be people that just don't like you. it sucks but it's true. the sooner u accept this and focus on the ppl you care about the sooner you will find peace

This has now crossed over from the Sexual Escapades of the Rich and Famous to Nuzzi is a piece of shit who should never work in journalism again. Great job fluffing her up, media!

there's that now-famous internet line about how climate change means watching clips of climate disasters on people's phones until you're the one filming it, and it feels like there's some parallel about watching fascist deportation goon squad videos until it's filmed on the streets you recognize

Fascism in America will manifest as a series of atrocities viewed through phones with footage that gets closer and closer to where you live until there's a pounding on your door.

i think tech and ai positive people are going to be in for a big shock when anti tech and anti ai sentiment becomes a major part of leftwing politics going forward especially as datacenters continue to destroy communities and raise electricity bills

Google at its peak was basically the best information retrieval system in human history and they and every competitor decided going from there to “you didn’t want answers you wanted half-assed auto-complete 80%-wrong hallucinations” in a few years was the right idea

Sometimes I think it’s going to be the librarians who will save us all.

This is a perfect opportunity to re-share this twitter thread I grabbed screenshots of in 2018.

Indie game developers have a new sales pitch: being ‘AI free’

Last week my therapist said "Next week, we are talking self care" and I replied "Cool! Until then, I'm NOT DOIN' IT." And I got my gold star A+ therapy sticker for making your therapist laugh.

Isn't it so weird to deeply know in your bones something obvious with no equivocation, for years and years, and then to one day see articles about people wondering if maybe the incredibly obvious thing you've known this whole time might be happening, as if the media is discovering it now??

My friend just fuckin showed up with a corncob pipe & that’s when it hit me that we are all in our 40s which means we get one new accessory slot

Marjorie Taylor Greene managed to tolerate being subjected to the sort of abuse, that she has subjected trans people to for years, for approximately one week.

hire brendel to write for the simpsons please

Lead academic Dr. Tricia Squire explained: “If we know one thing about life, it’s that nothing changes. That’s why they say ‘this too shall not pass.’”

Quick someone get a boat stuck

When I look for them I can see the signs that the next wave in this unending pandemic is already approaching, and though I try to tell myself I’ll get through this one too when I look for them I can no longer see so many of the people who helped me get through the previous waves.

Ideal jrpg party composition

Once again my car's issue comes down to "you should really drive more."

My new favorite kind of meme is "here are detailed instructions on how to turn off AI". 🔨

Also, if Dr. Oz continued working in his specialty he would save more lives every day than any of us could imagine, hope to save in several lifetimes. Instead he just jacks off with Oprah Bucks and REFUSES TO GO AWAY.

dancing

Women are watching abusive dynamics play out on the national stage and for many it feels very, very familiar to what they’ve experienced regularly— I hope midterms are a referendum

I’ve been thinking and it’s kind of exceptional that not a single person said “Hey now” after the piggy comment.

I cannot overemphasize that Marjorie Taylor Greene, Carlson, and Fuentes see a 2028 path to victory that involves building an isolationist populist coalition that traffics heavily in antisemitism and exploits existing negative sentiment against Israel. We have to be SHARP on the left right now.

Me, watching any modern thriller: Hear me out, guys. Apparently every rural farmhouse has a Minotaur level of maze- just labyrinthine shit going on underneath it. I think I just solved the housing crisis.

I read the phrase "For the Epsteinth time" and now await with extremely perverse anticipation an excuse to use it in conversation.

I am asking all systems Stop updating And making disabling the AI intrusions harder

A big note in history for those of us burden ourselves knowing it: The ultra rich gamble like it's a fetish. Always. When the going gets rough, the impoverished classes gamble like the rich.