The Singularity is upon us: Apple's AI summarized a text message that read "I'm still down to clown if you are" to.... "clown event still possible."

I can’t handle this right now

Kansas just passed a law invalidating any driver’s license that has gender markers which don’t match those on the holder’s birth certificate. In other words: if you are trans, your license is invalidated. As of February 26th. This letter is dated February 23rd. No grace period.

I've been edging return windows for most of my adult life and I never knew what to call it until tonight. Thanks, @williebhines.bsky.social, and great show at @bottlerocketpgh.bsky.social!

SCORPION: take me across the river FROG: if I do that, you'll sting me S: if I sting you, we'll both drown F: ok, that makes sense *halfway across the river* F: so? S: so what? F: sting me S: what? F: sting me, like you promised S: no F: sting me so we'll both drown S: *crying* what is happening?

Today, a special episode: Minneapolis. omny.fm/shows/heavyw...

Using a combination of glitches in Super Mario World, Yoshi can be taken into the final battle, where he can eat Peach upon Bowser's defeat. With Peach gone, the ending will not play, and Mario and Yoshi will simply stare at each other forever.

I Photoshop Paddington into a movie, TV show, or pop culture until I forget: Day 1784

"There's been a tragedy. Don't compound it with ignorance." #startrek #starfleetacademy

w.b. yeats died on this day in 1939. if, instead of dying, he had begun to age again but in reverse, he would have reached his birth - i.e. become 0 years old - in 2012. Assuming that he then began ageing in the normal direction again, he would currently be 14 years old and preparing for his gcses

Tom Homan looks like a guy whose sole thing is getting impotently angry at two of the Marx brothers torturing him at his lemonade stand

Borders aren’t real, migration is not a crime.

I cannot emphasize enough that I do not give a shit who does and does not have immigration status here in the USA. Just absolutely not a useful descriptor of a person to me.

Don’t let them focus on the circumstances of the murder of a U.S. Citizen or when they saw his gun…Make them answer what causes an ICU nurse who cared for veterans with no criminal record to risk, then GIVE his life to protect complete strangers.

I dunno. Maybe having a mean egomaniac bully in charge of everything wasn’t a great idea.

"Alexis Langlois c'est un peu le Quentin Dupieux des homosexuels"

As a centrist, I think Donald Trump is bad, but the political and economic conditions that enabled him to become president twice are good

I just woke up from a nap and somehow while I was asleep, everyone on the bus has figured out we are not going to the right place

God I love watching local news in a hotel room, I’m in San Francisco and they’re doing a story about a Taco Bell Cantina opening at Fisherman’s Wharf and it ended with one anchor saying to the other, “We’ve gotta check that out”

I would take Goofus out behind the shed and shoot him. Gallant I would shoot somewhere else, a place of honor

I recommend this book to anyone who owns a Lakhovsky Multiple Wave Oscillator

Not to be controversial but I think we should use tools and resources to make people's lives less miserable instead of more

every season of The Pitt should have a mass shooting storyline because otherwise it won't be believable

@lukeroelofs.bsky.social Hi! I've been having some verging-on-philosophy-of-consciousness conversations about Pluribus, and during one conversation I Googled "What is it like to be a hivemind," and it brought me to your CV, and now I desperately need to know if you're watching and what you think :)

Well, happy anniversary to one of the finest of festive exchanges

"That fathoms of struggle hide in you and in people you love is true too of every stranger, even those who vex and frighten. So is the fact that we and they are more than the sum of our struggles, and we are all capable of surprising ourselves, and of healing and changing, our whole lives long."

If you don’t cry at the end of IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, you’re empty somewhere important.

Another tear-jerker from Heavyweight. Just excellent.

Bugonia’s darkly amusing ending undermines its critique of internet conspiracy culture. #Bugonia #EmmaStone #JessePlemons #conspiracies www.pastemagazine.com/movies/bugon...

a favorite exchange between @timheidecker.bsky.social and @markproksch.bsky.social from the excellent Marion's Wish texts. sign up here: www.marionswish.com

Jonathan Goldstein with writer Sheila Heti on this week's bonus episode of @heavyweight.bsky.social: "How do you make peace with a mistake?" "Just make a new one."

It's the 14th anniversary of the Sudden Departure. How are you going to commemorate it?

A fair number of problems seem downstream from the fact that the best way to be a human is to grow, change, and evolve but the best way to be successful online is to never change and always double, triple, and quadruple down every time you are wrong.

I swear to god today I will do everything different