You are cringing now, imagine the Americanisation of the Olympics Opening Ceremony in 2 years 🫠

Finally have a race photo that I dont look like Jimothy, might even retire now

😆😆

England fans now on seeing the score

🚨🚨🚨 Fallowfield's longest standing business, the brothel opposite the big Sainsburys, has shut down (unofficial statistics). Starmer's Britain

The old man and the sea Ernest Hemingway, 1952

Sleep might be the answer. Much cooler, slept fine all night without even a fan. Now working from a pub hotel room but insanely bored and easily distracted from thirst traps

might want to take this sign down at some point lads

Burnham can print his own votes if he takes this on and just nationalises Thames Water

Any suggestions on things to do in Hull? Visiting later this week

Not if my chest day workouts have anything to say about it

Duality of a man is putting on I Kissed a Girl after watching the world cup semifinal

In a foul mood right now folks

😂

Massive new ick with people filming themselves reacting to the football match. Sentence could have stopped at "themselves" i know

Please, I'd like to hit a double-figure audience. In a world of Meta suppressing my Insta promo attempts, shares on here are much appreciated. 🫶 If you know anyone in Manchester, tell them about my show. Tomorrow for *one performance only*. greatermanchesterfringe.co.uk/events/you-o...

What a week to be a rancid sack of fettering political organs

My soap bar is melting, enough of this 🙄

Ffs can evil corp leave something untouched

Reminds me when I went to high school in the bigger town and my classmates were Homer Eric (in Cyprus) Nestor Hercules

RIP to a queer icon of Greece

Didnt get my tcs london marathon email yet 👀

stunning Paris was how this whole mess got started

How strong is that fan?!?

Where's the BBC's famed translation services when we need them? After = during Finance = fraud Row = National Crime Agency investigation

Might be a stupid question. Loving the memes and jokes about Count Binface but we* want Farage to win this right? *we = common sense humans who want politics to become boring and less polarising

Farage by-election news: yay! Marine Le Pen cleared news: booooo

So just to catch up, 70,000 people in Makerfield deciding the next Prime Minister? BAD! 70,000 people in Clacto deciding whether Nigel Farage is a crook who breached public standards or not? GOOD!

Worried about Lukaku's safety now 👀

That was a match and a half ffs and not just in duration

good day

I'm what yous call on here 'feral' since last night 🤣 time to come back to my man in the uk

This an official Vatican photograph of Leo at Lampedusa, Italy - one of the world’s heaviest migrant sites - where he went this morning to pray for migrants who died at sea. This is after turning down the offer to come to the United States.

new metaphor just dropped

All MPs' outside earnings by party: The Conservatives come out top at 66% of total earnings from second jobs, while Reform (with just eight MPs) account for 20%, and Labour (with 400+) just 7%. But taking into account their size, Reform has by far the highest outside earnings per MP of any party.

some amazing things happening over on threads — ever since they “shut down CERN”

That ring shot is so cunt, these heterosexuals really kicked off the rest of their year with a bang

Mexico out for English blood because of this

🤷

Basic as fuck but I transcended into another dimension listening to Dancing on my Own live.

20 pounds for a burger and chips. Fuck off didsbury

britmonkey.com/2020s-politi... Will take it

Many people don’t know that “Nosferatu” was actually an unauthorized adaptation of the classic tale “a vampire in Brooklyn”

only Hull is spared

Every hometown’s got the ominous megastructure, what’s yours’? Not my hometown exactly but a village in the wider district has raised a potato statue

35°C is normal, we used to just call that summer! Here's how many summers topped 32°C 70s 4 80s 2 90s 8 2000s 6 2010s all of them 2020s all of them And here's how many summers topped 35°C 70s 1 80s 0 90s 2 2000s 2 2010s 3 2020s 4 (out of 6 so far)