I’ve just realised that my Pokémon teams are predominantly made up of birds…

I’m curled up in the corner of my office hunched over my laptop like a dying gremlin sniffling as I type

That’s my baby!!!

My circadian rhythm is fucked In the last 6 months I’ve gone to sleep after 12am on average Ughhhhhhhhhhh

I’m ordering a huge pizza to make myself feel better 😌

Why is there a child bleeding on my floor?? Where are the parents????

Do 20 year olds these days operate in a different reality to the rest of us??? I just got asked the most insane question and they acted like this was normal and perfectly fine????

“Open and pin Copilot to..” NO..! FUCK OFFFF!!

I don’t want to work and write reports I want to have a little nap

Oh my god I feel like shit 🤒

I popped another trouser seam today…

A bag of dry roasted peanuts hate to see me coming

I’d love to know what goes through peoples heads when they see a visibly full train car and think “Yeah I can get on” Pricks

I’ve woken up with a cold and I’m so annoyed because not only am I working alone this weekend, I know EXACTLY who gave it to me because they decided to come about 5 inches away from my face and TELL ME THAT THEY HAD A COLD

I’ve been at work for an hour and I’m already pissed off with everyoneeeeeeee

I don’t like how today my foot has decided that it doesn’t want to behave like a foot but instead behave like a pain in my arse

I was eating something last night for the second time and I was wondering what these crunchy flower shaped slices were Reader… I had forgotten that baby sweetcorn existed and that is what I was eating for the second time first time round couldn’t figure it out lmao

Gn from your local scantily clad idiot x

I need a beach holiday, a tan, and like 10kg on me and then I think I’ll be good Yeah…

Everything I’ve learnt about clavicular has been against my will

Eating whipped cream straight from the can because I’m trash 😌🐷

I look at car design today and all I have to say is It’s all your fault

Oh suddenly hit with feeling a little tear-y Time to pull it together because we’re not having that now

I don’t know why but Born Slippy - Underworld Glory Box - Portishead Porcelain - Moby All have a distinctive turn of the millennium/early 00s aesthetic/vibe that I can’t quite describe, but is there

Breasting boobily after push day 🙂‍↕️

Okay, this is quite outstanding from Bedford Council.

Humpday brought to you by RDL’s

I left my keys at home so I’m locked out and my flatmate is teaching a class and not home for like 2 hours 🥲 I guess I’ll just got to the pub and wait…

I love a long swishy coat and clack-y shoe down a corridor moment yes I DO have somewhere to be thank you!

I have no time to do anything and now I’ve been hit with a “your eye test is due” GO AWAY..!!!!!

Oh!

I’ve only just sat down for lunch 🫩 I leave in an hour…

Ahahaahahahahhahahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha

Fell asleep at 12 Woke up at 1:30 Fell asleep as again Woke up at 2:15 Fell asleep again Woke up at 3:30 Fell asleep again at some long point later Woke up at 7 🫩

oh my god i need a holiday so badly

I need to perfect my martini making game Made myself one that’s too wet for my liking :(

Got bored so did some RDL’s for fun 😌

Oh I’ve woken up feeling very yearn-y and sad Lovely

Why after 40 years is windows still a dogshit operating system

I had to get a gif of a Pokémon for a presentation and went through so much effort • VPN to USA • Save to Phone • Airdrop to Work Phone • Transfer from phone to computer via Teams message to myself •Insert into presentation If my boss tells me to remove it I’ll be very upset…

It’s some special day today apparently?

Oh I’ve woken up in so much pain

oh my back is so very unhappy just sitting upright is causing an issue

I got mini krispy kremes to cheer myself up

Workout was shit I feel like shit Nobody talk to me until I’m no longer grumpy and hating myself

O no my back has started hurting during legs That’s not good…

I just heard the battle music for Jacinth in Pokémon Z-A for the first time and honestly, icon, legend, superstar Makes me want to pick up a switch 2 and get this game so I can have all my little Pokémon’s again (Give me my dragons dance Altaria)

It’s wild how I can go from heavy vibing in the gym with ‘Break Free’ playing To having an existential crisis on the sofa with ‘Space Between’ playing not 10 mins later

Part of the ‘Itty Witty Bittie Tittie Committee’