Coworker caught my honest reaction to someone saying something deranged in a business meeting

Aux armes 💪 citoyens! Send this to 8️⃣9️⃣ of your cum-rag 💦 comrades who can take it to the neck 🥺 better than Louis the Sex-teenth 🥵. All of you thirsty aristo-scats 💩 will be eating cake 🍑 and getting bred 🫟 this Brumaire by some Corsican trade called Napoleon Bro-naparte.

It’s such a shame no one was making horny emoji-pastas during the French Revolution

Caked-up Delta pilot…literally DL trade

Today is Remembrance Day, the day we honour a historic act of bravery: Lady Gaga releasing Artpop on 11th November 2013

Out of respect for everyone who dies in the First World War, please add a red poppy to your thirst traps today

Remember this the next time someone tells you that your vote doesn’t matter

oomf mentioned in the New York Times

Atoning for my sins by making today #scs

Did too much politicsposting last night. Need to return to my ✨usual content✨. Is 11am on a Monday too early to be horny on main?

Then do something about the eight Senators who betrayed the party

@schumer.senate.gov you know you have failed as a parliamentary leader when you have lost Liz Truss

Wikipedia is run by cowards

Trump is going to go on TV tomorrow and laugh about how Senate Dems caved for nothing, and he'll be right. Dems are going to take the blame for the shutdown now and they're pissing away wins for nothing. So stupid

Say what you will about Nancy Pelosi. But she would never have done this

Pronouncing “grimace” like “Versace”

White chicks at a party, when you get out the little baggie:

Accidentally cosplayed as your high-school bully

“looking for now?????????” - a guy who is 38 miles away

If you’re struggling with the Sunday Scaries, remember that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel

The editor who deleted this comma is manifesting something incredible

In case you need any proof I love lads who are a bit thick

So painful to see others get the job you really wanted

The oldest selfie on my phone is actually from 2019, because I am (1) very young and (2) not at all addicted to my phone

My favourite Grindr tag is “thick”, because it means dumb in British English, and tbh I’m totally into that

Happy #fcf

Quote with a 10/10 album

Doggy once again disappointment in his father’s antics

Every time I see DC Sub Guy I keep thinking they mean the Senate Twink

Everyone talking about the DC Sub Guy, as if there are guys in DC who aren’t subs 🤔

Which oomfs wanna celebrate Threesome Thursday with me?

Transphobia-to-race-science pipeline running strong, unfortunately

Beginning Robert Caro to live long enough to write a Nancy Pelosi biography

Hevy app for lazy people, where we can flex about the naps we just took

Hotel mirror thread

But the fourteen year olds specifically told me I wouldn’t have to go to work under socialism 😭

Make sure to say a prayer to Kesha tonight so she keeps you safe on Katy Perry Release Day

Am also workshopping names for all the great parties we can throw in newly-abandoned penthouses. Thoughts on “thrust fund”?

oomf suddenly loves government shutdowns

Workshopping names for the new city-owned supermarket. So far I’ve got “Trade Zoh’s” and “Mam’ and Pop Shop”

So bad that Dick Cheney chose going to hell over living in a world where this exists

I put the “ew” in New York 😞

Well, well, well, surprisingly easy to find a Mayor who doesn’t suck shit

hungover girls for Zohran

Socialism is alive and Dick Cheney is dead

Are we getting those election needles from the Times tonight? Because I did not take enough Xanax to handle those