It's true. We will never forget glockomolo

French friend keeps wanting to go to “Ze ‘orse Meeeet Deeeeesco”. And I don’t know how to tell him that there won’t be any actual horse meat there.

Drag queen called Eileen Cuisine

Not a lot of girls can take a nap after an adderall and a venti iced coffee. But I’m not like the other girls.

If you know how to do this, help Luke and me out!

If it’s Katy Perry, I’m lighting my passport on fire

She truly is the voice of a whole generation of fags

Dick out (feat. an iPhone to own @erikwitha-k.bsky.social)

Who up having accidentally had too much tequila?

“Slams laptop shut until twelve hours from now” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it

I hope Donald Trump lives long enough to say something crass about Mitch McConnell’s death

Tie between Chuck Schumer and Keir Starmer

Heat stroke is not enough. I want him to get rabies.

It’s hot as balls, so everyone show me you balls!

England also out for blood, as revenge for all the hangovers and sunburns I’ve gotten in Mexico

And they rightfully should be

Mexico out for English blood because of this

Once again wishing a very happy hump day to her

Drinking Diet Dr Pepper out of my Hadestown cup because I’m #StillGay

skipping gay wrath month and going direct to gay sloth, too hot for all that

England v Mexico? That’s not the World Cup that’s the Uncut Olympics

Oh, you’re straight now? Should we tell everybody? Should we throw a SantaCon? Should we invite Morgan Wallen?

Thanks for a great pride month, skittle squad

Puppy powers restored

Beginning to regret my vote for Dr Jill Stein

Australian Shepherds. Airplanes. Good boys. This was made for me and me alone.

Not a lot of people know this, but the gold on the German flag represents watersports 💛🇩🇪

Happy pride month to Clarence Thomas

Oh who is this divaaa?

Posting this to appease perverts like @someones-s0n.bsky.social

Is this what the people want?

What if I just stayed like this all day?

Selling two tickets for work today. Doors 9am.

Saving this so I can jerk off to it later

My fitness goals are to either lose enough weight to fit in at the twink bar or gain enough weight to fit in at the bear bar

O Rod really said “no other bottoms”

It’s actually animal crrruelty to bidet while you’ve got a tapeworm

Today is a great day to irritate a straight person

> “most versatile” > they’re all bottoms

They call it A24 because a 24 year old will not stop talking about it

Good morning to British people and also to Americans who did coke last night

Happy pride, everyone

My latest for The Atlantic: Zohran Mamdani claims to support No Kings, so how can he play kingmaker tonight?

“Omg, I’m such a cancer ♋️” “Yeah girl, pancreatic”

I have decided to skip the edible, and go straight to the part where I eat a whole jar of Nutella and watch nature documentaries

Chat, how do I teach my dog to eat twinks?