Men in their sixties are flying at half mast in honor of their lost testosterone

If McDonald's were to sponsor an indoor sports venue, then they could call it the McArena and the crowd would be all 'Hey McArena (ay)'. Actually this is a terrible idea. Keep scrolling.

My ex has all my hoodies and favorite baseball hats And my dignity

What are those drunk guys thinking, when they ride their lawnmower to the beer store? I'll let you know in several minutes 😜

Getting drunk and passing out on the kitchen floor, using a pizza box as a pillow: $30 Waking up hungover and finding pizza in that box: Priceless!

What are those drunk guys thinking, when they ride their lawnmower to the beer store? I'll let you know in several minutes 😜

My ex has all my hoodies and favorite baseball hats And my dignity

I’m tired of giving friendly advice. I’m going to start offering violent alternatives

Damn, how long do wolves live?

I hate your guts, but I love your exterior surfaces.

Frankenstein's monster got a bad rap for how he behaved, but behind it all I think he was good people

Read books, learn things. Don’t be a dumbass forever.

Remember when you were a little kid and followed your dad around while he mowed the lawn, with a toy lawnmower? Cool Then, when you actually had to mow the lawn.. Not cool 🤣

You posted the absolute dumbest thing but I can't tell you because we're friends.

“Easy Come, Easy Go!” I bellow as I toss that premature ejaculator to the curb

remember when all we were afraid of was Columbia House finding our new address?

this would all be pretty fucking funny if it wasn't all so fucking tragic

There are two times per year that almost kill me every year, November to December, and May to June.

*seductively removes her panties... Her: Why were you wearing my panties?

Remember when you were a little kid and followed your dad around while he mowed the lawn, with a toy lawnmower? Cool Then, when you actually had to mow the lawn.. Not cool 🤣

I'd like to thank the 2 accounts that unfollowed me. My small account isn't good enough for them anymore 🖕😂

I'd like to thank the 2 accounts that unfollowed me. My small account isn't good enough for them anymore 🖕😂

I was addicted to country and western dancing My psychiatrist had to put me in a two-step program

I installed a stripper pole in my bedroom. Not for a GF, I'm single, just need something to lean against while I put on my socks, so I don't kill myself 😂

I installed a stripper pole in my bedroom. Not for a GF, I'm single, just need something to lean against while I put on my socks, so I don't kill myself 😂

can't wait for the next pentagon prayer service where hegseth recites the Boondock Saints prayer

Who thought to call it hay on a farm for equines to eat rather than horse d'oeuvres?

WIFE: You're very quiet. What are you thinking? ME: They should make a non alcoholic version of Blue Nun wine and call it Blue None. HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'

I don't want Scooby Snacks. I do however want what makes you want Scooby Snacks.

Told a coworker nobody liked him anyway after he announced to everyone he's leaving the company, but it turned out to be an April fools joke . . . awwkwaard.

it’s my ex-husband’s birthday today so I’ve hired Pam Bondi to jump out of a cake

The crushing disappointment of a hollow chocolate bunny in your basket

Love means ignoring there typo

Desire should never be tempered. Ever. Live it out loud, with passion.

A few posts recently getting more than usual likes, 80-85% from non mutuals. While I like the engagement I can't help but wonder what kind of algorithm fuckery is afoot.

Contrary to what some of you may think, doing laundry is not loads of fun.

Her: Um... My eyes are up here... Me(looking at the pizza box she's holding) What!?!?🍕💕

Me: it was Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the candelabra! Gf: we're playing Monopoly, you idiot!!!

I'm going to regret this... - Me, getting out of bed every day.

My advice to younger people: you will wish you had just shut up way more times than you will wish you had said something.

Nashville No Kings Oct 18 2025