I can eat three cucumbers in a day I wish they did multipacks

Imagine when they discover that Amanda's a copper whose been lying about being a copper the whole time like one of those cunts who infiltrated Greenpeace. #TheTraitors

There's lovely

Happy birthday David Bowie! Of all the paedophiles, you had the most apologists ❤️

What I Listened To In A Year Part 5 Supergroups are an odd thing. I went to school with, and then worked opposite shifts to, a lad who got "Audioslave" tattooed across his midriff before the debut album even came out. It was done off the back of Cochise alone. I spend far too much time thinking…

Snow bra Snow bra Amber snow bra Freezing British cities like the titties on yer ma

*Logging on for my entirely voluntary shift at the misery, racism and kiddy porn factory* Good golly I wish there was literally anything else I could do other than this

RIP Ian Watkins, you would have loved grok

So far this week I've been asked every day if I'm suicidal (I'm not, please don't worry) Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

LET'S FUCKING GO! #TheMoonIsntReal

every seat in a movie theater should have an "I have to pee" button and if enough people press it they should be able to pause the movie

Feels like a Sigur Rós and staring at the ceiling kinda day

@jimbobbers.bsky.social Happy Birthday Sugartits!

FTAO all politics posters

Close the Internet, we're done here

Whenever I'm digging a massive, exotically-shaped dod of hardened piss-sand out of the cat's toilet with my wee plastic trowel, I like to pretend I'm the hairy lad from off of Time Team, unearthing a mystical viking artifact to please Tony Robinson.

This wheel is to the boy squirrel the way that the football is to Charlie Brown and it still makes me laugh every time he tries to use it only to be immediately spun.

Hollywood sucks because they made a fifth Rambo movie in 2019 and didn't get Lou Bega to do the theme song

Shit pot Shit pot Edna's shit pot He's getting crappy hands if he likes it or not

I keep finding out little snippets of the cartoon dog tits thing but not enough to know what has actually gone on and I'm happy with that Plus I took my sleepy night night pills an hour ago and I feel nice and smooshy right now Fuck I miss drugs

Who up needing a little glimmer of hope? What I listened to in a year part 4 Everything Must Go

Thank you all for the kind words and wishes I'll be alright me, I always am eventually

I'm *quite* ill (no shit) Been given Sleeping pills Anti sickness pills A fit note for four weeks A shit load of blood tests A wee bottle to crap into Another referral for talking therapy

People still posting screenshots from twitter in 2026 and saying stuff like "I can't believe how bad twitter is", maybe you could just not do that? Are you that lacking in imagination/desperate for "engagement"?

YOU CAN FUCKING FLY YOU LONG NECKED PRICK

Made it through the night Docs at 10:30 Go me!

Lads Lads Lads It's Royal Dalton

It's just furry karaoke isn't it #MaskedSinger #TheMaskedSinger

If Mo Gilligan pointed at his reflection and said "That's Mo Gilligan" I'd not believe him #MaskedSinger

This year I'm writing about music but also my mental health (or lack of it) as they are one and the same I wrote this last night and I doubt there will be an entry tonight

You honestly don't have to show me what Twitter's saying. That's why I'm here and not there.

What I Listened To In A Year Part 3 I hate purity. Hate goodness. I don't want virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone corrupt. Picture the scene. You're an awkward teen growing up in a dead end dying market town in the mid 90s. A friend's older brother is drip feeding you bootlegged tapes of…

I'm hilarious

Talcing my balls like LeBron James' pre game ritual

What I Listened To In A Year Part 2 No band has had a three album run as good as Manic Street Preachers. You could possibly argue four but Generation Terrorists is over long, over blown and over produced and that is what makes it everything that it is and everything that it needed and promised to…

New Year New Blog Post at a stupid time of evening while people talk about the TV.

35 eggs 0 Batsmans 3 Batwomen They are getting harder to find so we're going elaborate, I fear the end is near

I may regret opening the rum last night this morning

Has @safers.bsky.social @besidetheteesside.bsky.social @terryleopard.bsky.social and @marvth3martian.bsky.social seen this?

@sonofraucous.bsky.social Happy Birthday Sugartits!

The first snort laugh of 26!

Get it gone folks They all deserve better than this