No work tomorrow : Yay. Going to a funeral : Boo. The funeral is in Derbyshire : FFS.

Time to blow up the earth.

Frankenstein would have been better with Matt Berry as the lead.

Somebody at Virgin Media google translated the rugby position 'hooker' into the Welsh for prostitute 😄

Watching a film. Doing name searches on ancestry.

Describe your cat's personality with one photo

Cat is sitting at the window watching fireworks. Weirdo.

Someone improved this poster in John Lewis.

My new favourite name. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hierony...

Actually quite spicy. Disappointingly the crisps don't glow in the dark. 7/10

Where’s your fuckin’ poppy?

He had the blackest eyes. The devils eyes.

Betty Poo #totp

Finally found my spirit animal!!

"Sir, phrenology was dismissed as quackery 160 years ago." "Of course you'd say that, you have the brainpan of a stagecoach tilter."

Proper weekend at Bernie's vibe here.

I think I need to stop watching cute animal videos now as I can't take the disappointment when they inevitably turn out to be ai.

FFS.

Not sure if he has always had this many legs.

Innocent.

Well that's some nightmare fuel for tonight.

Ideas?

Looking forward to seeing you post another headline every time someone's team is all men.

Listening to an American guy doing spooky 'real' stories. "Before this incident Hammersmith was a nice place where wealthy people would go on holiday" 👀

Furious. www.axios.com/local/san-fr...

On this day 1605: Guy Fawkes attempts to blow up King James I and the Houses of Parliament.

Doing a peer review of if a ticket needs to be done several weeks after I started coding it 👏

It's not working again 😡

Fuck my bike light apparently

Also he has quite epic builders bum and his underwear has "on that ass" embroidered on the waistband 😄

Washing machine repair guy is here so obviously the washing machine is now working perfectly and he can find no issue 🙄

This account smells like a church library where someone has been smoking a pipe and there's a dog drying off by the fire in the corner. (I know you probably shouldn't have a fire in a library, don't @ me )

Torn between my desire to go home and my equally strong desire to ask awkward questions in meetings 😡

Already on two tranches today and Ive not even made coffee

The recap for series 1 Gen V was a lot to try and remember.

This is a lot of pressure for a poo.

Doing some Docker reading. Keep reading BusyBox as BussyBox and smirking to myself.

Just saw a lovely big Rat on the street. #BritishWildlife

My work colleagues have gone with me suggestion for where to have the Christmas meal and this is giving me more stress than apparently needing to modernise their whole system. 😔

Love these. Tag yourself.

Apparently these are odour resistant and anti bacterial. I've been hoping for a sheet that can deal with how smelly and covered in germs I am.

What’s it like inside your head? youtu.be/eRvfxWRi6qQ?...

I don’t know who needs to see this but…

Seems unlikely. The lady nextdoor mainly likes cats and baking.

Does anyone remember why I went upstairs?

This confused the fuck out of me The Empty Man (2020) - IMDb share.google/bNJbsSnT7YES...

Sat opposite a girl I really liked at a beach bar. Quite drunk. Feel my toe touch her leg, she doesn't move away. Get a bit more bold, run my toe up and down her leg. She's into it. She stands up. Leg still there. Been flirting with a table leg for 15 minutes.