A friend in an alleyway

Andy Burnham will force Keir Starmer to quit as PM by standing in by-election after by-election until Labour loses its majority.

Keep going Keir you're doing great.

the UK now has the least transphobic Health Secretary in years (nobody)

EXTRA BANTS TIMELINE UNLOCKED

Americans really can't cope with the idea that like, not-America exists, can they?

@greenparty.org.uk HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU NEED?

I feel I should alert Bluesky to the baby foxes in our yard

THINK! Before you skeet that shitpost, how will it sound if Alastair Campbell reads it aloud on a podcast?

Take my quote out of your mouth, war criminal.

Okay good for him, man's gotta pay the bills.

A Politically Exposed Person buying a £1.4m house with cash that they got from crypto seems like the sort of thing that would set off *all* the money-laundering checks?

The bad timeline: Wes Streeting becomes PM. The funny timeline: Starmer wins the leadership race, remaining PM, banishes Streeting and uses it as an excuse to purge Labour Together from his front bench. The funniest timeline: Ed Milliband becomes PM.

'A spokesperson for Reform said Menday had been suspended after he "failed to declare the posts"' So their screening process is "Are you a Nazi? Y/n"? www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

What. The. Fuck!?

The best YouTuber is a middle aged guy who uploads 2 minutes videos every single day of him making a sandwich. I'm not even kidding about this.

We're all going to wake up one day, it'll be 2016 and Ed Miliband is going to step out of our showers, holding a bacon sandwich. The last 10 years will simply have never happened.

We've all fantasised about building a time machine so we can slap that bacon sandwich onto the floor.

Because everyone deserves to read this:

Americans stop crying about not-America challenge: impossible

This analysis would have merit if you had never once met or spoken to a person on the left.

I won't deny I like the way that Zack won't play the game, but I'm just hoping for him to stick around long enough to grow the base by giving others a chance at doing the same, like @greenpartyhan.bsky.social

Own your posts, cowards.

"Why does everyone hate Sir Keir Starmer?"

Reminder if we let Poland try they'd be through Moscow in a day and have to double back to take St. Petersburg.

Of course they don't. They are, after all, incredibly dense people.

We lost Douglas Adams 25 years ago today. This has made a lot of people very sad and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

What do they want, a medal? Why should we coddle these babies?

Slightly increase a band: White Hot Chili Peppers

'Average Briton has eight relaunches a year' factoid actually just statistical error. Relaunches Kieth, who lives in 10 Downing Street and has over 10,000 relaunches a month, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Wes is such a snivelling coward he won't even sort out the support for his own leadership challenge.

Starmer just announced 'full national ownership' of British Steel. Labour are bringing emergency legislation, because 'public ownership is in the public interest' So this government CAN nationalise. And they can do it quickly. Why, then, are we not bringing our water into public ownership? 🧐

Imagine if he lost the seat to the Greens and Manchester elected a Green Mayor

God I can't wait to donate to the @greenparty.org.uk by-election to defeat Burnham. I want to see him cry at the count.

Booking a cross-border train shouldn't require five websites, a degree in logistics and a prayer EU Greens are campaigning for a Single European Train Ticket to make travel simple, reliable, and accessible for everyone Sign up to get European rail back on track share.greens-efa.eu/s/lxzxRrKU

It’s why university closures will matter - and why universal basic infrastructure is essential www.bennettschool.cam.ac.uk/blog/ubi-for... 2/2

TRANS CHILD MURDERER

Just sat at our favourite bar, watching the Dutch Army load an APC onto a low loader right in front of us.

Is it racism? It's racism.

The Pike’s Peak Humane Society has a social media manager who is very good at their job

I'm drink lad. I mean, I drink regularly, but I'm drunk. 4 beers, 4 cocktails. Drunk.

*long drawn out fart noise*

Labour: 9 (-35)

Get fucked, fucko.

Sorting any potential second passport is the key. Start now, even if you're not sure of you qualify for one, start researching and find out.

BREAKING: First Ever Green Mayor Win 🎉 Zoë Garbett has been elected Mayor of Hackney – huge congratulations!

I'm honoured to get the Amnesty Award, but honestly this was a group effort. Thanks to the crew, fact-checkers, lawyers, journalists, and the team at Nebula who helped bring this scandal to light. And thanks to @jessothomson.co.uk for collecting the award on my behalf! Here’s my acceptance speech:

Proud to announce I’m starting my new job as Campaign Manager on the re-election trail for #TeamKeir tomorrow! Wish me luck! Can’t wait to have a big sip of my coffee and read the results of the local elections!

Reject normalcy, embrace confusing the fuck out of people and not giving a shit.