lmao get wrecked pussy (x2)

people playing music/videos on their phone speakers in public is more than just mildly annoying and is instead a leading indicator of the decline of community and empath

I would laugh if this wasn't so true 😭

It’s worth noting that the winemoms being referred to here absolutely don’t think in these terms, only corny online liberals who are still working in the 2016 primary posting mines do. And as always the left’s mistake from Cameron’s perspective was being correct too early.

watched ET for the first time in 20 years last night and I can't stop thinking about the outfit on this kid in Elliot's brother's crew

I was married, but I'm not married anymore. Women don't like the vehicle.

With limited exceptions, for centuries American Christianity has been largely untethered from the teachings of Christ and has functioned almost exclusively as a vector for a particular brand of white nationalism. People get tired of “it has always been this way” but it has always been this way.

I once again ask why all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock

The joke is that despite the first half the defense and special teams gave us the chance we needed to win. We should be able to overcome 24 points, even on the road.

Keon doing the first down signal when he was a full two yards short was iconic stuff /s

Hopefully ESPN playing Elton John’s “I’m Still Standing” going to the commercial break fires up our defense lfg

Bills

More like Bitchtopher Columbitch, Go Bills

“What’s the charge? Eating a seal?”

you can tell these whiny losers are not having fun even as they finally get the mendacious anti-constitutional government attempting to quell their political enemies they've always wanted because they're frustrated that people still hate their guts about it and i think that's beautiful

“Beau Bayh”

Watching Bucs-Seahawks amidst The Horrors

Bills

i ate a whole block of sheep cheese just to load up a "baaaa" type of joke but i can't say bad because it was good cheese and i can't think of another sheep thing to say. and now i miss the cheese. another day on prison planet

Good morning! You feel like you’re going crazy because their attempts to bludgeon you into submission with weaponized unreality aren’t working on you. Keep it up. You’re doing great.

jonathan glazer? uhhh i think the proper term is "sex worker"

it’s burger time

98% of front facing videos make me want to flay my own skin off from second-hand embarrassment

Tyreek Hill huh

Summoning the commanders to Quantico on a few days' notice to inform them they need to be shootin' at the walls of heartache

Me at 745: these edibles ain’t hittin Me at 813: what if there was a cartoon sponge named Porous Horace

“Hey Dinesh, nice chain. Do you choke your mother with it when you put your penis in her butthole?” Probably the closest I’ve ever come to asphyxiation

If this had been Mamdani the NYT would’ve had a four byline piece called like “Mamdani Snubbing of Knicks, Rangers, and Islanders Raises Concerns”

Extremely dumb racist guys at my Rust Belt all-boys Catholic HS in 1999-coded

the rapture is a hilarious idea that the american protestants made up in the mid 19th century as a way for chickenshit losers to spare themselves the miserable horrors they liked imagining for other people skipping suffering??? NOT VERY CATHOLIC TBH

Every day feels like this now

Don’t tell me this site doesn’t have the juice

Nancy Mace looks like it takes her half a dozen attempts each morning to apply her lipstick without her hand automatically doing the thing from films where they smear lipstick halfway across their face to signal to the viewing audience that they’re about drive a Dodge directly through a supermarket.

I look at these peppy zillennial men with their buoyant mustaches and loud shirts and jaunty shorts and just think how. How can you, when Johnny Cash and I wear black for the sins of the world

idk why mood disorders qualify you for a covid vaccine but it's really funny. yeah i have a mood disorder i have anxiety about getting fucking covid

me in the downtown area of any city on earth: but despite all of our differences, are we not all siblings and friends? me driving on a highway anywhere on earth: i support the total eradication of the human race and i vote

Good morning from the official TikTok account of the nation of Romania

INT. TWIN PEAKS SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT DALTON All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One: Never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. ANDY looks up from his pad, hand raised. DALTON (sighing) Yes, Andy? ANDY Mr. Dalton, isn't that two rules? ALBERT snorts. COOPER Albert.

MAGA expertise: "I did my own research" Reactionary centrist expertise: I googled and found a research article with an abstract that supported my assertion [these are the same image dot gif]

NYC workout attire

Attn all ICE agents! Here’s an announcement from our front window: Chicago hates you, and you are not welcome here!

Chuck is getting antsy about how high the number on the “Days Since a Congressional Democrat Literally Died in Office” sign that hangs above his desk has gotten

Inadvertently paused Miss Rachel looking like she’s staring down the opposing bench after draining a 3

A real “Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?” situation

BELICHICK: how win football game college how, losing game now why CHATGPT: I recommend running the ball BELICHICK: no we lose yard why you do no wrong wrong CHATGPT: you're completely right - and I want to thank you for your honest feedback