Announcement time: as you may know, for a few years my wife and I have been creating audio tours of destinations in Andalucía using a great app called VoiceMap. It’s been going really well, so we’ve decided to branch out with a website for visitors to Andalucía. It’s called Andalucía Bound. 1/

Watching "The Holiday" and remembering seeing Kate Winslet neked at the Royal Exchange in Manchester in Orton's "What the Butler Saw." It was my birthday treat, and the curtains that were used in the production were made by the company my dad was working for.

For the first time in years, I am in a Secret Santa, and I spent a lot of time choosing my gift, but then the delivery (+optional donation) doubled the agreed spend. Have I failed, or is it OK?

The best way to reduce crime is not by building more prisons and employing more police. The easiest way to reduce crime is by having better social welfare, strong economies, improved education, low unemployment, women’s rights and stable governance.

I feel seen. Trainset. Spreadsheet.

Lancelot had a less ambitious brother called Joustabit

Idea: whining about your taxes in the press comes with a *free* wallet inspection from HMRC just to make sure you're not over paying

At this point just lean in to the banter and call it the Judean People’s Front.

Her *6* bedroomed house in North Kensington. 6!

Got into the shower fully dressed to take a look and then got curious about how you switch from normal shower to rain shower. Long story short, I've had a change of clothing.

There's no British Thanksgiving because we've never thanked anyone for anything and we're not gonna start now.

Two functioning showers! 😀 For the first time in probably 16 years

Harold Larwood bowling during the 1932 season. It was his most successful summer - he took 162 wickets at 12.86 - and was picked for that winter's Ashes series as early as July 30th

The sky is slowly changing from it's deep blue hue to a brighter, more optimistic shade, and birds are gently bickering amongst themselves. On a faint breeze the sound is carried from afar, an ancient yet seemingly very recent song. "It's Black Friday. Why aren't you buying more of our shit???"

Putin's plan to end the war in Ukraine. Cartoon by Michael de Adder

CC fixtures out, and of course, Notts don't get an away fixture at Glamorgan because the cricket gods hate me.

“A Saniflo 33 chemical toilet - it can cope with anything - earlier on I put in a pound of mashed-up Dundee cake”.

Deeply worrying sight in the corner of the office. Wondering if I can report it as an unattended item and get it blown up?

The "don't have an extra kid if you can't afford it" brigade get awfully upset when you suggest they don't stay in their £2m house if they can't afford it, don't they?

Right-wing men love testosterone replacement therapy for when their hormones aren't quite reich

I do love it when Wordiply calls me "Smarty Pants". 🅦🅞🅡🅓🄸🄿🄻🅈 #1072 🌟 Length Score: 100% 💫 Rare long word found! 🚀 Letter Score: 67 🔗 Play Wordiply: www.wordiply.com 🎬 Today's starter: 🄼🄾🄱

I read this so you don’t have to. It's a 5 bed 1930s house. Behold my tiny violin. Hand me my bow. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...

My best guess regarding the Ukraine/Russia negotiations is that both sides fully realize there is simply no overlap in the Venn Diagram of what each could accept in terms of conditions and assurances. None. However neither can afford to alienate the US by not engaging in the pantomime of looking.

Mad-for-it In Manchester

THREAD. 3 years ago, with no warning, a brilliant orange farm cat wandered over from the draughty barn where he had been living, in rural Cornwall, and decided he wanted to live with us instead. We decided to call him Jim. This is the first photo I took of him, on that night: December 1st, 2022.

"You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel" What? Give away an early penalty?

I think I can summarise the responses to this as "Some people who drive EVs think they've done the Lord's work for the climate and think they should therefore be exempt from paying for road repairs."

Going to rewrite Kevin Bloody Wilson's "Hey Santa claus you cunt, where's me fucking bike" so that it now goes "Just shove your fucking flags, up your fucking arse".

REPUBLICUNT, more like #NoNotes

Sorry I haven't been active on social media today, I've been flat out making sure everything goes smoothly on my first day as website manager for the OBR.

There's something deeply depressing about being in a meeting with people mostly on £75K+ (some 6 figure) moaning about the Chancellor's plans to change tax rules on ISAs and pensions, salaries etc.

Still can't quite believe that "I only said 'gas the Jews' in a non-hurtful way" was the strategy Nigel Farage opted to go for

This is, even by recent standards, astonishingly blatant.

One of my favorite things is getting to tell friends who are new to NYC that the subway "stand clear of the closing doors please" voice is a trans woman named Bernie Wagenblast and she's amazing.

"We hold all the cards"

God it's so cool that so much of British and European nationalist politics has broadly been shaped by warehouse clickfarms rented by guys in South Asia running "how to make money from racist old people" workshops, and that this has had more influence on media and politics than any grassroots group

What a piece of …

Any England cricket fans at a loose end in Perth on Monday? My team, The Forty Club, are on tour and are playing at Scarborough Cricket Club. Could Aussie followers please amplify? Thanks maps.app.goo.gl/s5K3QxuB6ftY...

Police disclosing suspects’ ethnicity is fuelling prejudice, say campaigners The police’s decision to reveal the ethnicity and nationality of suspects in high-profile crimes has had a “devastating effect” and is helping to spread prejudice, racial justice campaigners say.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it saw someone from work on a Saturday.

Dear UK: You don’t pay enough taxes to have an NHS that doesn’t run on immigration and immigrant labour. Sorry to be brutally honest but it’s how it is

New Knives Out is on in time for Christmas!

Elon is feeding entire families in Bangladesh who are just pumping out AI slop to halfwits In Oklahoma. It’s actually really funny when you step back and take a look at things

This is a headline that in the US normally starts with “Florida man”

1) Start the worst European war since 1945 and commit every imaginable war crime 2) Decide how you want to be rewarded for your aggression 3) Leak the list of your desiderata to the US press 4) Wait for the US president to enforce your wish list on your victim. Russian policy 2025

This isn’t true! Regulated fares have always been set by the government, regardless of operator!