people with birthdays right around now were conceived on the evening of a halloween party, and their parents were still in their costumes. something to think about.

Raya would have saved that.

A reminder this wasn’t a red.

Americans when they hear Europeans don't have air conditioning

CABO VERDE JUST THE WAY THEY *stares at camera* DREW IT UP

A Black man with the surname Freeman scored for the USA on Juneteenth in a home World Cup match.

detective: you're a sick son of a bitch, you know it? that bird was your friend of 10, 12 years and you drop a big fuckin boulder on him. wile e. coyote: i swear to god man i didn't think it was gonna work. it never works. oh god. detective: nevada's a death penalty state.

Flag went up later than this

Nice thing to see on my way home.

HAPPY PRIDE!

Need to breathe…breathe…breathe…

Gunnersaurus ultras ;)

I pointed out that all of the Heisei era Godzilla movies easily pass the Bechtel Test and my kid responded, "only if Godzilla isn't the love interest" and I've been thinking about that for *weeks*.

The handle on my very old, VERY poorly drawn Arsenal mug broke this year, so replacing it with a new poorly drawn Arsenal mug was serendipitous. Thanks @poorlydrawnarsenal.com!

Thank you for being tolerant / patient / understanding. You know who you are. ❤️

Let’s win the double and see Spurs relegated

Show me that bottle cunt now. #bottlecunt

GET. THE. FUCK. IN

This is Cooper. He just came across a new painting in the house that caught his eye. Doesn’t want to come off as conceited, but the resemblance is uncanny. 13/10 (IG: cooper.minidachs)

Saka looked to be celebrating before Havertz put his head on the ball. He knew it was a perfect delivery.

gonna be sporting and give tim a five minute head start

Surely they've suffered enough?

GET THE FUCK IN!

I honestly think 0 minutes of stoppage time would be fair.

I think we'd have all taken that beforehand, but holy shit this season is absolutely determined to shred my fucking nerves

Raya has had more touches in the fulham half than fulham have had touches in the arsenal box.

This game is making me happy.

We are all that little kid today.

Happy 20th anniversary of the Doug Mirabelli police escort. As the scheduled start-time of the game approached, a Sox exec got on a headset and instructed me to "keep playing to help us stall the umpires."

Oh, so you enjoy "attacking" football, with healthy teams full of skilled players, where they pass the ball forward and create chances from open play? Listen to yourselves. Grow up.

in my day you didn’t let a computer tell you what bands to like, you went to a record store and let a burnout who smelled like used Egg McMuffins do that

Every once in a while Rand Paul makes total sense about something and it's as disorienting as being blindfolded and rapidly spun in a circle 10 times.

I've been in London for a few weeks and I've found that one big difference between the two countries is that the US likes Dire Straits the correct, normal amount and the UK is a little overboard.

I’m at ICE HQ

What a screamer, Chloe Kelly!

My words exactly!

Chicago wind gauge

I think this is about the temperature but honestly it works for decades as well

“Democracy will cease until we can make it harder to vote.”

I do this now. Also, nice to have my email be answer #1.

There’s definitely something poetic about the US Women’s hockey team having dinner with Stanley Tucci in Italy & partying with Flavor Flav in Vegas while the men’s team eats burgers with half the Epstein List.

I’ll take another Eze hat trick.

My face if I was forced to stand next to a Tkachuk 🤮