Hearing Megyn Kelly say “it’s not sexist for a Trump to tell Caitlin to smile more! I said she should smile more. It was advice I got from Roger ailes” caused a tiny Freud head to pop out of my shoulder and scream “INTERESTING!!!!!” directly into my ear

my chemical munitions

Death Camp For Cutie over here

Just realized it’s Thursday so there’s a new episode of The Pitt 💜

The fact that they’re running the full Kilmer Abrego Garcia playbook on a fucking five year old in a bunny hat…it was outrageous when they did it to Abrego Garcia. It’s monstrous here

so much clothing is marketed as "conversation starters" but as an introvert, i want "conversation enders." no more talking. let me go home.

My bull case for the Ballroom is we turn it into some museum about our too close brush with authoritarianism. A warning to future generations Bear case: We drift through another clueless Dem administration and then it becomes the next guy's throne room

Swear to god, ICE could just announce they're leaving a city but not leave and the media will just stop covering that city completely even though ICE never left. It's what ICE and the media did with LA and they're doing it with Minneapolis too

Gavin newsom could say that he'll replace our tap water with diarrhea and liberals would still insist that he has the best chance of defeating trump

Daring brand shredded chi’ken kinda smells like cat food, but doesn’t taste half bad. Especially with cheese and salsa. 8/10, will use in burritos again.

I’ve left my apartment twice this week. Please clap.

This is Milo. He has the reflexes of a sloth and the composure of a statue. Learning catch is going to take a minute. 12/10 (TT: milocrazy8)

Westboro Baptist Church tried to make an Anti-Luigi Mangione poster but it just looks like Luigi is threatening billionaires and goes unironically hard af

We got one of these things for the office and every time the newest headline alarms me anew.

graham linehan is the star witness in a congressional hearing on looking like you just fell off a bus and then got hit by a truck

The kids are all right.

An account you control, @PagliacciDaClown, has been suspended for the following post: "Who up doing clown shit, lmao? I'm thinking about ending my own life." Our moderation policies aim to encourage healthy discourse. For an example of a user we think exemplifies this spirit, see @PagliacciDaClown

It’s gotten to the point where you’ll be surprised if something terrible in the world wasn’t planned out in the Epstein emails. You’ll be searching for Wendy’s Spicy Chicken not hitting the way it used to and be like “wow I guess he didn’t have anything to do with that one”

Every time I see a Kardashian

this looks like the headshot you would use if you were trying to do this as an Onion bit

I just got off the phone with Elizabeth's dad...she and her mom were freed tonight! Updated story: sahanjournal.com/education/co...

I've still never tried Jack-In-The-Box, because my mom forbid it after four kids died of E. coli in 1993 and now mothers are rubbing raw milk directly into their babies' measles.

They may not know they are choosing evil, anymore than Isildur did (books not movies) when he kept the Ring, but the choice is still made. It is impossible, literally, to be a billionaire without massive suffering and exploitation in your wake. It's the only way to be a billionaire.

If you have a billion dollars or more, you are evil. You don't start out as evil, so it's not like only evil people ever get a billion dollars; it's just that being a billionaire forced you to make a choice, be evil or change how you do things and stop being a billionaire. Billionaires choose evil.

This is Teddy. Despite his name, he is not actually a teddy bear that has come to life. Just happens to be an exceptionally soft and cute and cuddly little guy. 13/10 (IG: teddytheduke)

Just got home from the salon. My hair looks pretty damn cute. Only took 4.5 hours 😅

cat

counterpoint: you're literally ricky gervais

Elon Musk is claiming he’s risked everything to protect kids from sexual abuse mere weeks out from laughing while his AI chatbot was generating nearly 8,000 sexual abuse images per hour that overwhelmingly targeted girls and young women

It’s 2026. There is a measles outbreak in the prison for babies

I'm not sure such a dangerous beast is capable of taming!! Oh no!

I Photoshop Paddington into a movie, TV show, or pop culture until I forget: Day 1785

DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression. CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school? DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town. C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name? DR: Now look

ICE are slave catchers and y'all want better trained slave catchers? Y'all want slave catchers with better rules? Fuck out of here

All the rich people doing the most evil shit imaginable in a mansion while they lie and tell Elon they’re meeting at 3 am at a golf course right before the sprinklers turn on

there’s no way we get through a Super Bowl halftime show with Bad Bunny and Green Day without a total crashout from the president

No new pictures. Where are you at mentally

TENURED YALE PROFESSOR IN AN OP-ED: In our society we have too often accepted the heckler’s veto, allowing the perfect to be the enemy of the good and making the refusal to forgive our highest virtue TENURED YALE PROFESSOR IN AN EMAIL: hii jfefrey Can I come to rape party w/a plusone this weekend

From the Lost Highway soundtrack youtu.be/dn3j6-yQKWQ?...

Got a hair appointment for a cut/color tomorrow afternoon. I figure while I’m getting this mess of my own making fixed, may as well get it colored too. Thinking purple since it’s been awhile.

alien

4 federal agents pull over an elderly US citizen for the suspected crime of being brown, break her car window, throw her to the ground, then drive off after they find her US Passport in her purse. The Salem Police, when called, say there’s nothing they can do. www.salemreporter.com/2026/01/31/u...

it hits so much fucking harder now good god

A mother and their 15 year old describe getting gassed and seeing young children in pain. #Portland #ICEOut #Pretti