Destry B
@destry.bsky.social
📤 4123
📥 3385
📝 2573
Another idiot from Twitter. bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaans3rkrx24k
pinned post!
I read some of the Amelia Earhart files. It was crazy that her last radio transmission was her asking for the release of the Epstein files.
7 months ago
7
536
133
What do you call an orgy with people and their lookalikes? A doppelgangbang.
11 days ago
2
20
6
What do you call a glass of champagne and orange juice wearing chaps? A bottomless Mimosa.
11 days ago
0
4
2
I'm an Easter basket case.
12 days ago
0
7
3
reposted by
Destry B
amberkitty
16 days ago
I really need my dog to MOVE but she’s like 13 so I guess I’m just gonna enjoy my four inches of leg room for the rest of the night
3
18
2
reposted by
Destry B
Misery Highlight
18 days ago
Fuck it, I’m going to be kind.
2
57
23
I'm a parody account. A parodeeeeeeez nuts. Boom! Gotcha.
19 days ago
1
6
0
The only thing you're missing on Twitter is everyone asking AI if everything is true or not because they're too lazy to look it up.
21 days ago
0
10
6
I HEARD YOUR FACT AND I'M NOT HAVING FUN. I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT.
21 days ago
0
4
0
reposted by
Destry B
La Femme Fatali
22 days ago
I assure you sir, that's the goal.
12
1278
300
reposted by
Destry B
La Femme Fatali
21 days ago
dO tHe CaRpEtS mAtCh ThE dRaPeS? Why yes, I always shampoo and condition my pubes when I wash my hair.
2
14
4
reposted by
Destry B
La Femme Fatali
over 1 year ago
Rebelling against my teen going to a baptist church by blasting Chappell Roan when I pick him up from Wednesday night youth group
12
345
35
I follow more animals than people on Instagram.
21 days ago
0
2
0
reposted by
Destry B
andy vs.
21 days ago
A thing about me is even if I'm having a great time I can't wait to go home
17
1011
225
reposted by
Destry B
megs 🍳
21 days ago
The dog farted in his sleep and wagged his tale 3-4 times to deliberately distribute his funky stench directly at me istg
2
23
4
Mike's flaccid Lemonade was a horrible seller.
21 days ago
3
39
7
I can't get one lousy fucking like? 😫
21 days ago
2
10
0
reposted by
Destry B
Has anyone checked Chuck Norris's grave for a clenched fist coming out of the dirt yet?
21 days ago
0
2
3
Has anyone checked Chuck Norris's grave for a clenched fist coming out of the dirt yet?
21 days ago
0
2
3
reposted by
Destry B
andy vs.
27 days ago
the maga idiots where i live don't know what to make of my camo pants. lesbian? ex-military? it's wonderful
15
416
54
What do you call Spiderman's underwear? Peter parkers.
27 days ago
0
4
3
reposted by
Destry B
Kelly🆘🇺🇸
about 2 months ago
I had to stand guard between a potty accident kid changing clothes and a daddy long legs. It was touch and go.
2
15
3
Milkshakes sound like a symptom of lactose intolerance.
about 2 months ago
2
30
16
What if Jesus did come back as an image on a piece of burnt toast as a sign and someone slathered it with butter and ate it with the yolk from their poached egg and ruined it for the rest of us?
about 2 months ago
0
5
2
Did you hear about the bank robbery a pod of killer whales pulled off? It was perfectly orcastrated.
about 2 months ago
2
7
1
reposted by
Destry B
Mary
about 2 months ago
For My Dog, Larry In the summer, deep in grief, I didn’t think of much at all. As the flowers you watched me plant bloomed, I cut clippings to put in tiny vases by your photo. When the fall came and the leaves plastered the sidewalks of our neighborhood, I did not walk them.
20
147
26
reposted by
Destry B
andy vs.
about 2 months ago
Greeting card that says I'm sorry for talking to your child like it was a dog
15
294
84
Back in my day, only old people made back in my day posts. Fuck.
about 2 months ago
1
20
4
reposted by
Destry B
Dave Cactus
2 months ago
My buddy from New Mexico? I think you mean, my palbuquerque.
3
166
28
Remember when water was the only brand of water?
2 months ago
1
26
6
reposted by
Destry B
Temu Trinity 👻
2 months ago
0
4
2
My latest post has one whole like. I'm back, baby!!!!
2 months ago
0
10
1
RFK has finally accepted a brand of vaccines that are cut with a healthy dose of street level smack. So don't be alarmed by the golden amber hew in the syringe. That's uncle Bob's happy juice.
2 months ago
0
1
0
Conservatives reading the redacted Epstein files: Just wait until Donald Trump gets his hands on this Ronald Crump fella. He's gonna wish he was never born.
2 months ago
1
6
0
I hope Dennis Quaid makes it to the Manhattan public library in time to save his son.
3 months ago
0
3
1
reposted by
Destry B
andy vs.
3 months ago
Every privacy policy update: We have found new ways to monetize your data !!
6
358
106
THE CHICAGO BEARS KNOCKED THE GREEN BAY PACKERS OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS. WE ALREADY WON OUR SUPERBOWL.
3 months ago
1
14
0
Idk but I'll bet they have a Taco John's.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
0
1
0
The world is an onion article.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
0
2
0
I actually prefer thick mints.
3 months ago
2
10
3
What would you do if this guy arrived at your doorstep out of the blue?
3 months ago
2
5
0
Everyone will be trying to run you down if you make a habit of putting yourself in front of a moving vehicle.
3 months ago
0
5
0
Doordash brings all my milkshakes to my yard.
3 months ago
1
1
0
The hardest part of posting a dick pic is writing the caption.
3 months ago
0
2
0
Her: are you a grower or a shower? Me:
3 months ago
0
2
1
reposted by
Destry B
Mary
3 months ago
I think I have a pretty good poker face unless you cough around me in which case I’m gonna immediately react.
2
72
24
reposted by
Destry B
Justinka Purlska
about 1 year ago
What I love about living in East Tennessee, Part 1
0
2
1
reposted by
Destry B
Justinka Purlska
4 months ago
Sure did miss you this year, my sweet little man.
1
4
1
Why is it called a nursing home and not an oldphanage?
3 months ago
0
45
19
reposted by
Destry B
La Femme Fatali
3 months ago
Thank fuck I didn't try to attempt dry January this year.
3
61
11
reposted by
Destry B
BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
4 months ago
Glenn Danzig fingered me in the Flying J bathroom just East of Omaha after losing at a game of tiddlywinks back in 1992.
9
70
24
Load more
feeds!
log in