Might be the greatest opening paragraph of anything ever.

New Substack day! substack.com/@thatwriterj...

Reposts appreciated, last day tomorrow, cheers. x

New substack open.substack.com/pub/thatwrit...

I always speak politely to AI as there is a non-zero chance that this will be a situation in the future:

The first woman in Parliament to appear in the Guardian's 'best-dressed at Glastonbury' feature. You'll never sing that, etc...

when I play make-believe "I have a slave" I like to pretend that I'm a kind master who gives it time off

So much that could be said on the 4th anniversary of the full scale invasion, but it all just boils down to the ultimate admiration for Ukrainians who have endured so much, fought so hard and deserve victory, peace and prosperity. Slava Ukraini!

"Keep your side of the road clean." In a world of dolourous news, all you can do is find one small thing - then try to fix it. And so me and the British Society of Magazine Editors are launching this - to find the next generation of writers AND PAY THEM. Screw you, AI. We still believe in writing.

A romance cartoon for the @theguardian.com

New substack day! Except it went out yesterday by mistake d'oh substack.com/@thatwriterj...

Woman (1990)

This is too much rain and I AM SCOTTISH

I am really enjoying #murderinthefamily on Disney. Seeing bad people actually receive literally any consequences at all for their actions is buoying.

Sci-Fi Author: In my book I invented the Torment Nexus as a cautionary tale Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don't Create The Torment Nexus

New substack day! open.substack.com/pub/thatwrit...

The Cracked Mirror is still a mere 99p for the month of January, meaning this deal only has another seventy-eight days to run. www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CKYRHQ4B/

Podcast hosted by Harry and Brooklyn grimly inevitable buff.ly/w12UtLL

#teambrooklyn #teamharry and team anyone else who was thrown to the wolves of the media as a child. TOTALLY AVOIDABLY in Brooklyn's case.

Covers for the new Targets revealed by Amazon @josephlidster.bsky.social @jennycolgan.bsky.social @stevecolewriter.bsky.social @anghelides.bsky.social scifibulletin.com/2026/01/19/c...

Seems unfair that you only get to use the bouncy slide to get off a plane when things have gone wrong. The bouncy slide should be a treat they give to the best passengers who did the flight correctly.

New Substack out today - @questingvole.bsky.social you are implicated xxx open.substack.com/pub/thatwrit...

Every week I look at this and think, charming though they may be, filing those Talking Horse books under non-fiction does nobody much credit. @questingvole.bsky.social , where do you stand on Black Beauty?

We are up to six published novels off this course so far by the way!! So come and join in! Jx

okay but why does an advert for Seasame Street need to be this threatening

It is very much my kind of day in #Edinburgh

no thanks!

@naomialderman.bsky.social @youngvulgarian.marieleconte.com Oh yeah remember that thing we did ages ago and everyone else gave up and some of us got stuck in a hell loop :) :) PLEASE let me now be free pleeease

new substack day!

Too posh to push? Fewer men than ever passing kidney stones naturally buff.ly/bhBLE5N

I now love this even more, although Daniel Craig was totally faking that blank stare, man :)

IMPORTANT NEWS

i like christopher nolan movies. i like when there's a sad guy and the music goes WUHHHHHHHHHH

Name of the Rose is not as much of a Christmas film as I remembered

Escalate any disagreement by saying “here we go” whenever someone starts talking

Christopher Nolan should record a very serious version of the “Jingle bells, Batman smells” Christmas song.

New substack day! thatwriterjennycolgan.substack.com/p/sweet-shin...

A small cry over this. how wonderful

still my favourite podcast ever to do

99p! And I think only for today. You don't get the beautiful tartan endpapers and you can't wrap it BUT you can read it in a queue. www.amazon.co.uk/Secret-Chris...

this is such a gorgeous book shop

So I'm editing the Edinburgh Edition of Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World. Relatedly, if you're in the UK and you or your library possess the deluxe large paper British edition (1912 or 1914 versions), please let me know. It's the version with Iguanodon footprints on the cover.

New Substack day! #whatshouldireadnextjen open.substack.com/pub/thatwrit...

The wonderful @jennycolgan.bsky.social is visiting the shop next Tuesday at 12pm to sign copies of her latest festive book, The Secret Christmas Library! Jenny can only be here for a half hour, so if you can't come but would like a dedicated copy just get in touch and we'll make it happen!

Taylor: i'm in love and it's so great Lily: UH OH Florence: no worries, I will convene a coven and strip the flesh from his bones Rosalia: we all appear to be dead now

A fun question. In 5 years time, what looks better? The US’s enormous bet & capex on AI? Or China’s equally enormous bet and capex on renewables?

Q&A in @thelistuk.bsky.social list.co.uk/news/the-qa-...

The queen of feel good romance @jennycolgan.bsky.social is popping into the bookshop on the 18th to sign copies of her latest festive book, The Secret Christmas Library! She can only be here for half an hour, so make sure you don't miss her! For more information: tinyurl.com/FFTMCJennyCo...