The Daily Mash
@the-daily-mash.bsky.social
đ€ 3707
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đ 5743
The UK's No.1 Satirical News Site
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/
We fulfilled our marital vows five times in one evening: The wholesome bodice-ripping yarns of a tradwife
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20 minutes ago
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Weekend stay with parents shortens man's life by at least four years
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about 1 hour ago
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Farmers celebrate spring by spraying shit everywhere
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about 2 hours ago
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Danes sex, Spanish sex, Germans opening windows: six European nations and what theyâre better at than you
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about 3 hours ago
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Women and women canât be friends, relationship experts confirm
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about 4 hours ago
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I will fight anyone in this Nuneaton Kwik Fit who doesnât agree Train Dreams should have won
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about 5 hours ago
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Ellie-Maes, and other people who claim to have two first names
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about 6 hours ago
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âThen she got off at Bank and our love endedâ: The ten stages of falling for a stranger on public transport
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about 7 hours ago
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Five TV shows that will be problematic in 10 years' time
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about 21 hours ago
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Five fictional men your wife secretly compares you to
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about 22 hours ago
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We're second-class citizens in Europe, complain people who voted to be
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1 day ago
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Couple cleverly uses money from shit house in nice area to buy nice house in shit area
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1 day ago
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Woman on dating app gets more attention in single morning than men get in whole life
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1 day ago
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Why we prefer straight atheists to gay Christians, by the Church of England
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1 day ago
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Wearing a baby carrier and saying 'We're pregnant': Five traits of wanky modern dads
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1 day ago
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Man's chivalrous offer of coat to cold date ruined by her acceptance
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2 days ago
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Man who's slept with loads of women just has no standards and lies a lot
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2 days ago
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Six unconvincing excuses for getting in touch with someone you're trying to shag
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2 days ago
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Adopting a baby aged 21, and other Hollywood practices nobody is copying
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2 days ago
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Hen weekend puts a price on friendship
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2 days ago
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Your astrological week ahead for March 14th, with Psychic Bob
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2 days ago
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Turn down, accept then cancel, or ghost: whatâs your RSVP style?
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2 days ago
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We ask you: What ridiculous bullshit hat did you wear at Cheltenham?
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2 days ago
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Young people: are they drunk enough? A middle-aged investigation
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3 days ago
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Blue Peter, and other boring as shit TV shows your middle-class parents let you watch
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3 days ago
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Middle-aged man thinking about Jenny Agutter again
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3 days ago
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Ryanair 'business class' just ticket for different airline
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3 days ago
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Fresh squeeze on showing-off money
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3 days ago
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Orange-hued Just Stop Oil activist totally successful
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3 days ago
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The Archbishop of Canterbury on⊠Morrissey: maybe stay catatonic, you moaning twat?
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3 days ago
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Five things every mum wants for Motherâs Day: A guide for shit sons
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3 days ago
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Lost Doctor Who episodes include that time he wanked off a Dalek
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3 days ago
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Captain Tomâs ghost flying a Spitfire, and other things British idiots absolutely would put on banknotes
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3 days ago
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Men's long-overdue catch-up involves no personal details whatsoever
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4 days ago
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Boring conformity now a massive achievement
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4 days ago
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Kate off the booze, in case you were thinking she didnât seem fun
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4 days ago
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Things Trump says being reported as if they have meaning
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4 days ago
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Kneecap, and other great artists for feeling you're not part of the target audience
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4 days ago
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Best career motivation is manager who's a complete prick
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4 days ago
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Mash True Crime: âHis DNA was all over the crime scene and he confessed five times. Letâs get him exoneratedâ
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4 days ago
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Restaurants, the theatre, an intensive care ward: Six places I have every right to take my dog
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4 days ago
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Why watching two men going at it is queer allyship, but you watching girl-on-girl makes you a pervert
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4 days ago
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19 steps to getting your elderly parents to the most tame events
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4 days ago
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Man totally cool with getting brief, sickening flashes of girlfriendâs sexual history
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4 days ago
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People in restaurant so glad they invited a f**king anal retentive
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5 days ago
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Gen Z couple break up after realising six-month age gap was problematic
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5 days ago
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F**king idiot wins far too much on EuroMillions
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5 days ago
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Balding man chooses just the right moment to begin shaving his head
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5 days ago
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Is fourteen cups of coffee a day too many?
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5 days ago
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Fat anti-vaxxer can't wait to take Mounjaro
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5 days ago
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