Knives out: the upper middle class are squabbling vicious children who do not deserve their inheritance Glass onion: the new elite are the stupidest murderous cunts alive and deserve your scorn Wake up dead man: those preaching anger as salvation are leading you to death, hope and kindness matter

Legendary subterfuge that all b3ta members will remember

“All sci-fi is a family teatime treat” says 1970s BBC reeling from Star Wars, before scheduling a bleak eco-fable about an unstable man who murders his co-workers aboard a doomed space ship.

“Be sure to set me to ‘delicate,’ Alison. It’d be a shame to ruin that sweater, you know, in case it ever comes back in style.”

My Live Aid musical wot I wrote has just announced a national tour opening at Leicester Curve theatre in March 2027. You can still see it in the West End until February. www.whatsonstage.com/news/just-fo...

“People have every right to own property, but we must balance that with the demands of burglars to steal that property and sell it.” Fuck off. And tell your loser tech mates to fuck off while you’re at it. Cheers. Ta. www.theguardian.com/technology/2...

We popped into Topping's Edinburgh to sign some more Ambrose Parry stock for Christmas. (Other half of writing partnership out of shot.)

I don't really post anymore, but I would like to carry on writing books at some point in the future. Hate to be annoying, but any chance you could retweet so old twitter followers can find me if they want to? Going to delete my twitter, or at least abandon it on lock and let it die a slow death.

So we've gone from "he never said anything Nazi" to "well he might have said something Nazi but not in a hurtful way" to "well okay he probably did say something Nazi in a hurtful way, but didn't we all?"

It's 106 miles to Fossanova, we have a full tank of gas, half a packet of communion wafers, it's dark and I'm wearing a cassock... HIT IT!

It’s very funny to me that countries are trying to pass laws banning teens from social media until they’re older and can “handle it” as if the last decade hasn’t been about watching rich middle aged men nuke their brains on Twitter and then run the USA via shitpost.

Good on Penn Jillette. Having to come to terms with your entire political identity and philosophy being wrong is not easy and most people could never do it.

It’s weird how the news sometimes isn’t news. “Farage the school racist” was in the public domain five years ago, but it just wasn’t getting any traction. (Tweets below from 2020) Sometimes a story just has to wait until its time has come…

you know how i know im a 44yo dad? how much i laughed at this shit

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD USE HYPHENS

Farage had school friends who went to a different school.

This thread is glorious.

www.spotify.com/wrapped-shar... And with perfect timing, I am off to see Fright Years again next week.

Pleased to discover that slightly misnaming the national chess championship you won as a school child is a much more serious offence than repeatedly racially abusing your fellow pupils and telling them they should go to the gas chamber

So take this in. Straight from the NATO meeting after Russia’s attack Britain’s primary military town, Salisbury, Boris Johnson flew unofficially to party in Umbria with a former KGB officer working for the Kremlin. Can anyone tell me how this has been forgotten? It is Profumo on stilts

new allegation concerning Farage’s behaviour when he was 18 years old

I'm at Waterstones Nottingham tomorrow evening, talking with Marisa Haetzman about Ambrose Parry and Jack Parlabane. www.waterstones.com/.../an-eveni...

I am so fucked.

I'm venturing south this week, at Waterstones Nottingham on Thursday then in London for the St Andrew's Book Festival Saturday. Come and hear me and Marisa chatting about the latest Ambrose Parry novel and the next Jack Parlabane outing. www.waterstones.com/events/an-ev...

I'm venturing south this week, at Waterstones Nottingham on Thursday then in London for the St Andrew's Book Festival Saturday. Come and hear me and Marisa chatting about the latest Ambrose Parry novel and the next Jack Parlabane outing. www.waterstones.com/events/an-ev...

Still can't quite believe that "I only said 'gas the Jews' in a non-hurtful way" was the strategy Nigel Farage opted to go for

I'm heading to Waterstones Nottingham Thursday. Come along and hear Marisa and me discuss Ambrose Parry and the forthcoming Quite Ugly One Evening. www.waterstones.com/.../an-eveni...

Nottingham - home to fans of crime since the Twelfth Century. Come along and hear us discuss Victorian murders and modern-day misdeeds as we discuss Ambrose Parry and the forthcoming Quite Ugly One Evening at Waterstones on Thursday. www.waterstones.com/events/an-ev...

So the line is that he wasn't getting paid for any of this

I'm heading to Nottingham this Thursday for an event at Waterstones, chatting to Marisa Haetzman about the latest Ambrose Parry novel, The Death of Shame, and maybe offering a preview of the new Parlabane. www.waterstones.com/events/an-ev...

Grok says no-one knows more about 19th Century Edinburgh medicine than Elon Musk, but you can put that to the test next Saturday, as we're heading to London for the St Andrew's Book Festival: www.ticketsource.co.uk/standrewsboo...

Farage can now be easily boxed in to a corner where his only ‘defence’ becomes: “Yes I spouted Kremlin propaganda & Putin worship but, unlike Nathan Gill, I didn’t need bribes to do it.” It is, once again, a question of whether interviewers have the temerity to shut down his whining obfuscations.

Just a cheeky wee reminder about this event TONIGHT in Motherwell Library as part of Book Week Scotland. Come and ask awkward questions, I dare you. Free, but book a place here: librariesnl.spydus.co.uk/cgi-bin/spyd... @orendabooks.bsky.social

Less than two weeks until Marisa and I are at the St Andrew's Book Festival in London. Come and hear us chat to Denise Mina and Allan Gaw about the Ambrose Parry novels so far and what might come next. www.ticketsource.co.uk/standrewsboo...

The WHOLE #Skelf #Series (so far) in ONE PLACE?! Yes please! Get the FIRST SIX books in @dougjohnstone.bsky.social's addictive, darkly funny and unmissable the Skelfs series in one GREAT-VALUE #Boxset NOW! Pick up your eBook box set today: bit.ly/4hUV3VM #BookSky #PublicationDay

This alone would be worth a year's licence fee.

Counting down to the Ambrose Parry event at the St Andrew's Book Festival in London later this month. Come and hear us chat to Denise Mina about medicine, murder and marriage. www.ticketsource.co.uk/standrewsboo...

Maybe Keir should demand the heads of major US news networks any time they imply Britain is on the brink of civil war or that we live under sharia law. Or does it not work both ways?

A rare London outing for myself, even rarer for @ambroseparry.bsky.social, but with @damedenisemina.bsky.social and @allangaw.bsky.social in the mix, the @standrewsbookfest.bsky.social should be a stoater. www.ticketsource.co.uk/standrewsboo...

A rare London outing for myself, even rarer for @ambroseparry.bsky.social, but with @damedenisemina.bsky.social and @allangaw.bsky.social in the mix, the @standrewsbookfest.bsky.social should be a stoater. www.ticketsource.co.uk/standrewsboo...

Celebrate International Turd On A Mantelpiece Day by downloading Quite Ugly One Morning for only 99p, as it's today's Kindle Daily Deal.

Heading to London at the end of the month for the St Andrew's Book Festival. Come and hear me chat about @ambroseparry.bsky.social and next year's new Parlabane novel, Quite Ugly One Evening. www.ticketsource.co.uk/standrewsboo...

Heading to London at the end of the month for the St Andrew's Book Festival. Come and hear me chat about @ambroseparry.bsky.social and next year's new Parlabane novel, Quite Ugly One Evening. www.ticketsource.co.uk/standrewsboo...

We're excited to reveal that next Feb we'll be celebrating 20 yrs since @dougjohnstone.bsky.social's darkly funny, sharp #Debut #Thriller #Tombstoning with a very special anniversary edition inc. intro by @brookmyre.bsky.social We can't wait for you to read it! 🌊 https://bit.ly/43835V7 ##BookSky

I'm now up to a mighty 2 reviews on my new blog, PotsandPlots. This time for @brookmyre.bsky.social's excellent 'The Cracked Mirror' #booksky #bookreview #crimefiction @chrisbrookmyrehttps://potsandplotsblog.wordpress.com/2025/10/30/the-cracked-mirror-by-chris-brookmyre/

So why does the BBC label the academic and economist Faiza Shaheen an "activist" but refuse to do the same for the former academic, turned anti-migrant activist Matt Goodwin?

Call them cunts and tell them they get nothing. Spit in their stupid faces. Put extra Asians in the Christmas adverts and explicitly say you're doing it to fuck them off. Tell them *no* for once Jesus actual Christ lads. Not "this is unworkable" or "this is expensive". Just no.

Thsi album still sounds fresh today.

Marisa and I will be in London for the St Andrew's Book Festival on November 29th. www.ticketsource.co.uk/standrewsboo...