'...you must joyfully tolerate being sniffed or enthusiastically pranced at. Your belongings, likewise, are subject to dog paws and noses. Object, and you’ll be met with looks of discord, as though you’ve confessed to disliking sunlight or laughter.' Hard to disagree with any of this.

Speaking of Budgie, let's have a look at that unbeatable warm-up routine one more time.

Two poor misses by Savinho, which didn't exactly come as a huge surprise. The comfort to be taken is that Semenyo would've buried both nine times out of ten.

The group of Italian Oasis fans recreating the scene this summer was quite the hoot too.

So Morrissey has signed to Sire, and his new album contains the song 'Notre-Dame', with its mad conspiracy theory lyrics: "Notre-Dame, we know who tried to kill you Notre-Dame, we will not be silent Before investigations They said, 'This is not terrorism!'" It's not getting any better, is it?

If you're a fan of Oakham Citra - and why wouldn't you be? - the version produced for M&S (and therefore available via Ocado) is even better. Slightly stronger (4.9% ABV) and considerably less carbonated. A lovely drink.

The gnashing of teeth re the Semenyo transfer is similar to when Mahrez arrived at City -'another talented schmuck warming the padded car seats of the superclub subs bench' wrote @jonathanliew.bsky.social back then. If AS also stays 5 yrs, making 236 apps (78 goals), we'll just have to live with it.

'Have a Christmas, Howard.' :)

I asked a local man to pick up the shit one of his Golden Retrievers had left on the pavement as he walked blithely on. We had exactly the same interaction a couple of months later.

A pleasant surprise to see Rooney, of all people, highlighting Gibbs-White's cheating. Two years ago, the same player's dupery led to Rodri being sent off. Yesterday, it cost the Forest the match. Lovely stuff.

Dyche is not only a pedestrian manager, he really is an objectionable prick, isn't he. Be nice to see Forest go down. #MOTD

Just watched Compartment No.6 on iPlayer and it's flippin' marvellous. If you haven't yet had the pleasure, it's on for the next 18 days only, so don't miss out!

We knew Cherki is a wonderful talent but megging Gibbs-White from 20 yards is truly special. What a player.

'I'd like to book 16 rooms for a 3-night break in Noosa, please.'

My top 5 songs from 2025: 1. A Song By Me - Jim Bob 2. Sweet Sister Sorrow - The Primitives 3. Jack's Been to the National - Half Man Half Biscuit 4. Amsterdam via Rotterdam - Eden Gray & Cornershop 5. Fabulist - The Cords #chopsfives

Just back from @wdcfc.bsky.social's disappointing 0-1 defeat in a top of the table clash with Wythenshawe, in front of an incredible Division 9 crowd of 1,869. A favourite West fans' chant is 'Let's All Meet Up When the Crowd's 2,000' (to the tune of Pulp's 'Disco 2000'). Seems we're nearly there!

More good news for Liverpool. I had a feeling it might be.

I've noticed that whenever City sign a new player, fans of other clubs confidently state that said player will spend all of his time 'sitting on the bench'. Every single time. It's genuinely surprising we're able to field 11 on the pitch every week, as they all seem to be perennial bench-dwellers.

Despite my reservations, I've booked tickets to see the big ping pong film with that Tiffany Chevrolet chap, as I feel sort of duty bound. Cutting edge film review to follow.

Great news about Sememyo. Instantly improves not only our current first team, but also my MCFC Tony XI (Coton Book Vaughan Towers Henry Grant Sibierski Coleman Adcock Cunningham Semenyo).

A player who's already scored an own goal has to be the last player to step forward in the penalty shootout. That should be obvious. National Shite Day for Lacroix.

I hope that while they're at it, Newcastle are also 'seeking clarification' from PGMOL regarding the Foden non-penalty a few weeks back. It's pathetic really.

This procession went by the top of our road, but I was out a gig last night, so it took place while I was still in bed. I think Mani would've approved.

Erika & I at the final gig of the year - The Man Fom Delmonte at a packed Ritz. An utterly joyous night. Their unexpected reunion has been one of my highlights of 2025.

I love this play almost as much as my wife hates it. If I really want to piss her off (which I don't often, thankfully), I just need to walk around the house singing ''I want to see the zoo, she said, I want to see the zoo.''

"They've a spinner who doesn't bowl spin for his county, a wicketkeeper who doesn't wicket keep for his county, an opening bowler who's not an opening bowler. What do you expect to happen? They've got an MD who's never managed or directed & a coach who hasn't coached a red ball team. Bloody chaos!"

Books read this year. Slightly behind target, but an interesting and varied selection, I'm sure you'll agree. Enjoyed them all. #Booksky

Here come the Barmy Army They’re absolutely crazy Bart, Elvis and the baby Kill kill kill stab murder and despatch #HMHB #TheAshes

Almost time to witness the last rites #TheAshes

Christ alive. An absolutely incredible piece. www.ft.com/content/cd59...

What a player Nico O'Reilly has already become. Incredible talent. And how satisfying that two of City's three most important players this season are local lads who didn't cost a penny.

Toad-in-the-Hole in the city of Seoul

#HMHB #OblongofDreams #PPBR Part 2 of 2 Leasowe Light Caldy Hill Thor's Stone Limbo Lane "........Everything I want is here and everything I need is here......."

Reform-type Chelsea fans trying to taunt their Cardiff counterparts with chants of "Rule Britannia". Where on earth do they think Wales exists geographically? Very odd.

Inspiral Carpets to sponsor @wdcfc.bsky.social U17s for the next two seasons. I'd like to think "Moo!" is going to become the kids' go to goal celebration.

I've a suspicion the point he's trying to make is largely academic.

Hmmm...

At the '82 World Cup, we just pitched up at Bilbao's ground a few days before the tournament and bought tickets (£1.50) for the Eng matches vs. Kuwait & Czech. Tix for the sold out France match were easily available from touts for £10. Crazy what's happened to the game. www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

An embarrassing confession: I was thrown out of The Hawthorns in Oct 1980 (aged 17), 15 minutes before kick-off for singing the song below, and told I'd be arrested if I tried to re-enter. Was therefore forced to walk around the ground and watch from the home end. To cap a great day, City lost 3-1.

‘That was the best football I’ve ever seen’ ‘The first 45 minutes where Real Madrid couldn’t get the ball was the best quality of football I’ve ever seen’ ‘If we can ever get to that point then that will be a great achievement for Manchester United’ Sir Jim Ratcliffe

As a taster, here's a fun version of The Nightmare Before Christmas’ ‘What’s This?‘. www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOsT...

'transcended by...their stunning playing, understanding of one another’s voices, and clear relish in what they’re doing' The Futureheads have made a Christmas album (8 joyous covers + 2 originals). Now you may be sceptical, but I fully agree with the sentiment here. theartsdesk.com/new-music/ir...

Judge Andrew Menary KC, who, in describing Joey Barton as "not a man of previous good character" when sentencing him earlier today is this year's undisputed winner of the 'Master of the Understatement Award'.

John Stones should consider growing his hair until he's fit to play five games in a row. He'll be looking like that United lad this time next year.

‘Tis the season to stop funding hate. Boycott Majestic Wine.

Liverpool's decision to give Salah a new contract and the unedifying mess that is playing out now serves to highlight how strong and wise City were with firstly Aguero, then De Bruyne when the time came. Players of that level don't generally react well to becoming bit part figures.

Another goal from Ekitike and he'll become the second player this season (after Eze) with a palindromic surname to score a Premier League hat-trick.

What a performance from Cherki today. Another example of Pep turning players into robots and 'stifling individual talent'.