As banter signings go, this is almost without parallel.

To mark Jean-Pierre Papin’s birthday, here’s 57s of him giving goalkeepers sleepless nights…

Ready for the trick or treaters 🎃👻

When 50-year-old Jamie Cureton joined Kings Park Rangers earlier this month, he hadn't realised that a goal in the Eastern Counties League Division One North would 'complete' his already-impressive haul. www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

It’s 34 years since Brian McClair scored one of the most appalling goals in English football history. You can keep your Tiki Taka. This is the Beautiful Game at its finest.

Are they overrepresented or has Britain been taken over? Which one is it? But if they’re saying this out loud, logic doesn’t matter.

Burnley away #lufc

Are you a person with Peripheral Artery Disease? Are you a healthcare professional that cares for people with Peripheral Artery Disease? WE NEED YOUR HELP for a truly GLOBAL effort to improve #PAD research Please complete the survey below 👇 #Vascsky app.onlinesurveys.jisc.ac.uk/s/leicester/...

In memoriam...

"i could have married, i've given gallons of blood and i can't stomach whelks, so that's me for you." rip. youtu.be/x5Q20sAXiMs?...

Love to their families. May their memory be a blessing www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...

Bétis had grandads as their mascots today 😭

He's at it again 😃. The music he chose is also crackers, so worth checking out on Insta 😀😀 #lufc

No I have no clue either ... #lufc

How do we know it’s match day? Because of this guy 👑 #lufc

hey bro if you’re so good at debating why does everyone think you suck?

Happy Ronny Rosenthal Day everyone. 33 years ago we sat in front of the telly and said: “Oh deary me. How did he fucking miss that?”

[me, a journalist who spends all day every day on a social media app where the discovery algorithm is personally controlled by its owner, captain birdseye] you know, a lot of people are talking about fish fingers, we should probably cover that

Fair do's, but I won't look like a cunt. Swings and roundabouts innit.

The tea ladies are going to pay for this performance

Obsessed with these photos of Marcelo Bielsa watching football in Uruguay this past weekend. That's my king, right there. LYSM 💘🩷

It's fair to say 'well Fulham are good', and I agree, but you could say the same about the other teams we'll meet. We need to be more than just hard to beat. #lufc

Well. #lufc

Also for some Aitana Bonmatí ingenuity

A thought for World Suicide Prevention Day. If you're struggling, you DON'T have to do it alone. Talk to someone. And if you're worried about a friend who says they're 'ok', then check: "No, but honestly, how are you *really*...?" 🤍🤍🤍

30 years ago today: Tony Yeboah’s vendetta against tap-ins continued with this zinger (for his hat-trick) in Monaco. Unbelievable, this fella.

Remembering Gary Speed, who would have been 56 today Fantastic player Sorely missed 🙏

Great news, everybody!

The legends who fed the @thesquareball.net charity walkers this summer have had their van nicked from outside their house. Keep your eyes out please, it's incredibly distinctive and obviously means the world to them. Share far and wide too. #lufc

Special teams coaching at its finest

He’s pulling out of this isn’t he 😶‍🌫️ #lufc

Last chance to submit a question for our Q&A with Paraag at our national meetup in New Orleans! docs.google.com/forms/u/4/d/...

luke edwards an obvious example, but there is a culture in british journalism running all the way to westminster politics that the job is to repeat the thing the source told you, not to critically engage and figure out the truth.

Shhh…don’t wake him. He’s negotiating contracts in his sleep.

This is a pretty important stat out of tonight’s game. Think Longstaff and Bogle played very well #lufc

I expected a loss, so I’ll take that point. Defenders did well. Midfield looked like they’d crumble after the first half, but held on. We still need that creative spark going forward, or at the very least, we need to counter better. Overall, good point. #lufc

🎶I'm sorry Nick Jackson (woo) There is no deal We called off the Bayern loan-to-buy Fly home to replace the injured guy🎶

Ramazani assist from the bench. Schmidt goal from the bench. I’m sure the footballing gods will ensure their replacements Okafor and Justin will do likewise 🫠 #lufc

⏰ 80. Min.: Come on! 💪 Rein in die Schlussphase 👉 svw.de/Liveticker ⚽ 2:3 #SVWB04 | #Werder

It's good to see relegation rivals taking points off each other at Old Trafford #lufc

The divorces are going well x

Stach wicked Instagram post klaxon 🚨‼️🫡

Hi everyone I'm here to ask for a little help on this request My best mate @mrdavidnwood.bsky.social lost his brother suddenly last week aged 49. They went to the games together and with this in mind he wanted to see if people would join him in a round of applause on the 49 min at the Newcastle game

Dead 😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂

Who said 2025 was a write-off? Manchester United are being patronised by the manager of Grimsby Town.

ABSOLUTE SCENES "Grimsby have beaten Manchester United... in the most dramatic circumstances"

The painful inevitably of this. finance.yahoo.com/news/british...

Go home, ChatGPT, you're drunk and I suspect you've also been taking drugs