Slightly diminish a book. An Incredibly Large but Still Conceivable Amount of Jest

no roads refused

The true self, the false self, etc

The singularity, but every iteration is stupider and more racist than the last.

Just read that the Dilbert guy was ready to accept the light of Islam on his deathbed, but Allah said no.

Deathbert.

me: i want to sleep in a human-sized hotdog bun 911: sir that's.....ok actually that sounds great me: so who do we call 911: [shouting in background] we're checking now

7 year old giggling: when goku, gets super hungry, he eats like 30 meals in a row Me sounding exactly like Jesse Gemstone: I know how much goku eats

My bed is cold, and I must scream

Had a random idea at midnight last night. #art #procreateart ##digitalart

Facing the existential horrors of daily life: ahhhhhh (that's me yellin)

Here's a list of DOGE staff, assembled and annotated by my colleagues at BI. Whatever you do, please don't share it. www.businessinsider.com/doge-staff-l...

Share if you like tacos or you’re my biological dad

Donkey Kong, the ape from the video game, has died

[baby knocks Burger King crown off my head] SEIZE HIM

[guy who’s completely misunderstood the term latin lover yet just might close the deal anyway] that pussy delenda est

Do you remember, the 21st night of Goontember?

The nuder Kimbra gets on her album covers the worse her albums get

Before you say something mean about Henry Kissinger, take a breath and see if you can think of something meaner

cranking hog???? cranking hog tonight queen???

TURN!!! IT!!! OFF!!!

happy thanksgiving

For reasons unknown to the public, Biden refused to pardon the turkey and it was executed by lethal injection at 10:27am EST

I’m a bitch, I’m a lover of the films of Danny Glover Operation Dumbo Drop Lethal Weapon, he’s a cop

shouting "counterspell" at your niece's baptism

Mom, can you come pick me up? The best lack all conviction and the worst are filled with passionate intensity

"Beaten with hammers" this, "beaten with hammers" that. Whatever happened to being beaten with kindness?

I shall never be, as the kids say, a poster.

the purpose of life is to sleep poorly every night until you become so exhausted that you sleep good occasionally

Trying to have sex in the cybertruck and accidentally getting your virginity back