Tarl
@tarlbludworth.bsky.social
📤 456
📥 194
📝 413
Musician, dad, sleepy person.
pinned post!
You are a work of art. I want to pin you to the wall.
about 2 years ago
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Reneé Meredith
4 days ago
We need to verb more nouns. Like “Sorry I can’t go to your party I’m baked beansing that night.” Or “I totally cunted my way through that job interview.”
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Anastasia MacKenzie
5 days ago
Inside you are two hungry hungry hippos. One always wants salty snacks. One always wants sweet. They both lost their marbles.
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Anastasia MacKenzie
23 days ago
I feel like all my mental health issues would be solved if I could just spend a few minutes in nature every day and also get a million dollars.
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Candy Elliott
about 1 month ago
Didn’t get to be a sexy nurse for Halloween so I’m going to be a slutty turkey for Thanksgiving.
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💞 Lady Scarlett Blush - N/SFW VA & Writer 💞
about 1 month ago
I used what money I had to pay most of a car payment from last month and replace the the ignition coils. Turns out that might not be the only car issue and I still can't afford the testing I need done to start my 2nd job. Any amount helps.
add a skeleton here at some point
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Got a jump on Halloween by dressing like a slutty vampire on October 1st and every day since then.
about 1 month ago
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Celebrating hump day by getting fucked every way except the fun sexual ways.
about 1 month ago
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Leggy Pain 🇨🇦🇵🇸🇺🇦
about 2 months ago
I would never get Botox. I need to be able to aggressively frown at Cybertrucks
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I would love you more if you were a worm.
2 months ago
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Queen RanDumb
2 months ago
I thought of the FUNNIEST thing to say last night in bed. I've forgotten it but man, real knee slapper
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Grant Tanaka
3 months ago
you’re never more than 10 feet away from someone texting “lol” with a completely expressionless face
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Sweet Sugar Pie
3 months ago
My kingdom for the kind of unbridled, raucous, soul mending fuck you can’t silence through walls nor shame.
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I was really motivated for about thirty minutes there
3 months ago
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Wait, FTW means "For The Win" and not "Fuck The World"?? What's next? Are you gonna tell me LMAO doesn't stand for "Leave Me Alone, Ogre"?
4 months ago
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Movies and television led me to believe I would encounter more unaccompanied pies cooling on windowsills.
4 months ago
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The Sassiest Semite
4 months ago
I need new glasses & they’re almost $500, due to the universe blessing me at birth w/ partial blindness. If that’s something you wish to support, you can here. New posts soon but it’s writings, photography, playlists & occasional reminders that you matter. ✨🖤🌻
buymeacoffee.com/thesassiestsemite
loading . . .
TheSassiestSemite is weaving delicate webs of want & whimsy with words, wardrobes & wit.
🍾🎉RELAUNCHING🎉🍾 Hey there, it’s me! LittleMissLizz. TheSassiestSemite. TheTwitchyPixie. Punk Rock Amélie. That weird girl. Sometimes people just call me Lizz. Welcome to my Buy Me a Coffee Page - a pa
https://buymeacoffee.com/thesassiestsemite
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Rocketgirl 🚀
4 months ago
I do have a spiritual side. I've seen Ghostbusters, like, ten times.
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Love, laugh, lycanthropy
5 months ago
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Anastasia MacKenzie
5 months ago
First they came for the extroverts, and I did not speak out because I’m very introverted.
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🎄merry cheymas🎁
5 months ago
Carpet Dime! Go out there and pick up that loose change from the floor!
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I need some extra cash this summer, so for a small fee I will come by with a spray bottle and mist you with cold water every once in a while like you are produce at the grocery store.
5 months ago
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Resting Daydreamer Face
5 months ago
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Marl
5 months ago
"Get me some ice cream, I gave blood today" Him: "You can't say that every month!" {Clutches ovaries} "GASP"
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I could never date someone who is much younger than me. I am too tired to learn new slang. I would just be agreeing to anything because I wouldn't know what she was talking about.
5 months ago
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ThexyBeatht
5 months ago
There’s a road construction where I live that outlasted 3 of my relationships
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I spent the last twenty years telling everyone I am 5'11 because that's what they told me in Army basic training. The nurse just told me I am a little over 6'. My life has been a lie. What have I been missing out on?
6 months ago
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6 months ago
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lisabug
6 months ago
[at roller rink] My fanny pack contains 237 marbles, in case I need to create a diversion.
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Bring back those conversation pits in living rooms from the 1950's, but put some snakes & spiders in the pits to make the conversations more interesting.
6 months ago
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Queen RanDumb
6 months ago
Tiptoe through the tulips only it's flailing through the fuckery.
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This has been one of the worst days I've had in a long time. Should I keep acting happy in front of my kids or let them see how sad and stressed I am?
6 months ago
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🦇𖤐Stephanie𖤐🦇
6 months ago
Me at 18: I can do whatever I want!! Me at 50: I can do whatever I want after this nap, 2 extra strength Tylenol and Advil...
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C. Bukowski
7 months ago
I refuse to be gaslit about credit scores by a country 40 trillion dollars in debt. Absolutely not.
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𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒂 ✩
7 months ago
what do you mean carving out a space in my chest for you isn’t nonchalant I didn’t even decorate it fr
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Pulled a damn muscle while frolicking in a field again.
7 months ago
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7 months ago
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Queen RanDumb
7 months ago
If my voice sounds funny it's bc I'm speaking directly out of my ass.
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Canadia
7 months ago
The race between a dying vibrator & an orgasm…
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C. Bukowski
7 months ago
Life is a garden: nothing is pretty forever, there are thorns, brambles, weeds and creatures that will bite or bleed you dry. But there are moments of unequivocal beauty and serenity that made the effort worth it while the garden was alive.
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Diotima
7 months ago
Some people clearly don’t remember the give part of take. They just take and take.
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Juliett
7 months ago
How do I feel? Mostly with my hands and sometimes my tongue. Never with my heart.
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You know you can rent yourself a bouncy castle any time you want? It doesn't have to be your birthday or anything.
8 months ago
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Grant Tanaka
8 months ago
this one time, I was able to rob a bank armed with nothing but a notebook filled with poetry I wrote in the 8th grade
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ThexyBeatht
8 months ago
Huge fan of people who are raised in a certain way, but have the courage to think for themselves and become their own person. Huge fan!
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I get irrationally annoyed whenever I'm listening to a song that I like from the '80s or '90s and some young person says it's ripping off a crappy song that came out two years ago.
8 months ago
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Anastasia MacKenzie
8 months ago
You can tell how old you are by how loud you have to grunt getting up from the floor.
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🦇𖤐Stephanie𖤐🦇
8 months ago
Worshipping billionaires and politicians will always be the weirdest fucking thing to me...
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Rocketgirl 🚀
8 months ago
Starting today it's Thrifty Thursdays! I'm kicking it off with a simple DIY guide on how to construct a guillotine out of parts you should already have around the house...
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