I didn’t make the rapture for a good reason ~ Me flirting

Your favorite ray of sunshine checking in. Hope your day is as pleasant as you are

My not so smart watch decided on its own to call the last person I talked to on the phone while I was in the shower

Sometimes you find people who put up with your shit. And you keep them

It’s not my job to make anyone happy or comfortable

Ends up Puerto Rico is not one of those “3 Mexican countries” Fox News talked about Lol

Gas price is astronomical. Food price is obscene. 5 mass shootings per week. People’s biggest concern: Bad Bunny speaking Spanish at the Super Bowl. SMH!

Can’t wait for the weekend ~ Me at 9:30am on Monday

I’m not a morning person. I’m no longer a night person either. I think I’m just a staying in bed person now

Sush weirdos! It’s hockey time 🏒🥅

If we ever date and your bathroom has a mirror facing the toilet, I’m breaking up

Some days I’m Wonder Woman. Some days I’m Patrick from SpongeBob

Took my clothes off and went to the driveway to wait for the rapture. All I got was someone calling the cops

My phone put together a compilation of sunset pics I’ve taken over the years. And I’ve never realized how many I’ve taken, and how privileged I am to have seen them. It’s the small things for me

There are many things that you can’t control. But focus on what’s your most powerful asset that you CAN control. And it’s your spending money. Be intentional. Don’t feed the pockets of those who don’t like you. Financial boycott is power!

It is mind numbing that they put a heroin addict with brain worms in charge of national health. Now he doesn’t understand that autism has spiked bc it’s finally being diagnosed. Meanwhile, people are dying daily of drug OD and he’s out there trying to dehumanize people on the spectrum instead

The lack of luck that I had in my love life, I had in friendships. I have some of the best friends anyone could ever ask for, and for that I’m really grateful

Looking for a man who sends sympathy texts every morning before I start working. Like “I’m so sorry you have to go through this, beautiful princess”

I think I heavily underestimated the level of mental illness of people on the other platform. It’s actually bizarre

Life is too short to be boring. Cheers mofos!

Shhhh quiet! You’re interrupting my overthinking

I was reflecting before bed last night. Freedom of speech is tricky. Most times people demand freedom of speech for what they believe, but anyone who thinks differently needs to be punished. And everyone has the right to say what they want, whether you agree with them or not

If I start my sentence with “Not to be an ass, but…” I’m about to be an ass

I understand Charlie Kirk was a conservative. But why is everyone automatically blaming democrats for doing that if the suspect has not been captured yet? This happened in red Utah

Dude introduced himself to me. And I immediately said “that’s my child’s name”. If you wonder why I’m single

Watching your adult children making decisions is so nerve wracking

If it doesn’t bring me peace, profits, or purpose it’s probably my next bf

Happy Saturday! What’s everyone up to?

These Epstein victims need to be strongly protected

I’m not jealous of anyone who made me miserable. Go plague someone else and leave me be, demon!

My ex’s brother sent me a friend request on IG. Talking about early Halloween celebration

Risky sex these days is sexting without my reading glasses on. SMH!

“What’s your blood type?” Me: Boiling

Happy Friday, mofos! If you see any weird pics from me this weekend, just wave and keep walking

My favorite thing about you is when you stfu

22: Mom, can you show me how to make your chicken wings? Me: Yes! What I love about this recipe is that they turn out crispy and just perfect every time 22: Where’s the “jump to recipe” button? Me: *Stares dramatically*

I’m in a dark place. Not mentally or anything. Just in my teenager’s room. I think light melts him

Sometimes I have to decide if I'm gonna stay calm or undo my personal growth and say something that will send a MF to the liquor store

Breaking news: You’re not as important to other people as you are to yourself

Hope this week brings you unexpected good news! Much love from me to you

I’m in my resort phase. Resort to violence. But still

Him: What are we watching? Me: A documentary Him: Uhhh that’s porn Me: It’s about the human reproductive system

My boy asked me to help him with something. We stopped at Starbies otw back. While waiting for my coffee some young guy asked me what I was doing today. I said just work. Then he asked me what time I was off and if I wanted to grab coffee then. My son was like BRUHHHH chill. SMFH

Seduction is for the ones who can deliver it 😏

If I say I’m in the mood and you assume it’s for sex, and not for me to slash your car tires, that’s totally on you

Boy! Are you the flu? Bc you make me wanna stay in bed all day *eyebrow wiggles*

My favorite fictional character was my ex when I first met him

You argue to make a point. I argue for fun and I got all day

I haven’t seen a better democrat candidate than Newsom since Obama. I’ve voted against Trump. But not necessarily for a the dem candidate. This time around I’m voting for Newsom!

I was my grandma’s favorite grandchild and I’ll always get to feel good about that