fully withdrawing my objection after i think about what an election with “john american” on it would look like. and then downloading name change forms

i saw this dude wearing all pink at the coin laundry. he retrieved an all pink load of laundry from a machine and put it in a pink laundry bag. this guy rules. love u pink man

this physically hurts

Cite the deep magic to me. Our academic integrity standards require all references to existing work to be cited. Please do not force me to report you for plagiarism, it is not fun for anyone.

for the longest time i genuinely did not consider audiobooks as a legitimate form of consuming books. but then i remembered that before formal writing systems all stories were shared orally. if anything, audiobooks are the more ancient human form in some ways.

they really said "they should have sent a poet"

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me. It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

learning that if your name sounds like a title of nobility, such as “prince”, the passport office may put an observation in your passport clarifying that it is simply your name and not your title

sudden and insatiable urge to move the bench from the courtyard into my apartment

@xres0.bsky.social rest in peace, the world is so much worse without you 😔

i think it's neat that this 130 year old grease pencil line is dead level. it was underneath: kitchen tiles, plasterboard, gypsum plaster, wallpaper, and two layers of lime plaster. the line marked out where some shelves used to be. i am going to put shelves there again. it's neat to reuse the mark

Your reminder that John Cena holds the record for granting the most wishes for the Make-a-Wish Foundation by a considerable margin.

update: still absolutely full of meows

thinking abt the meowmaxxed cat

lufthansa emailed me to celebrate their 100 years anniversary and i do not think they should be celebrating that

Happy #Caturday 😸

I have written self-tests for the Python test generator and added tests to the Go tests. Folks, I can confirm we got all the edge cases! 💥 🥳 Thank you so much to everyone who contributed to the > 8,500(!) cores. I would like to credit you, so either reply or DM me your name/handle, if you'd like.

10 months ago, i visited an IKEA Malmö, leaving me deeply troubled that i’d been to *an* IKEA in Sweden, but not *the* IKEA in Sweden so i checked into the IKEA Hotell in Älmhult, visited the IKEA Museum (where the first store was) and the new store i have now completed IKEA and i can rest at last

so i got kinda high last night, and this morning i woke up to discover that i had accidentally purchased a Dell PowerEdge R540 2U server

This only happens to you once

This is...incredible?????

"are you wearing the - " "jpmorgan tote bag from 2024 bsides london? yeah." @bsideslondon.bsky.social

why is there a bon jovi "it's my life" remix with pitbull

Nice talk from @signal.bsky.social about combining cryptographic proofs and symbolic analysis to find protocol bugs! #rwpqc

I'm in my upbeat training montage era

modern society is so divorced from our food sources that most people who eat pop tarts have never actually killed one themselves

May your days beavery merry and bright ✨

@there.is.no.aarch64.mov re: torn writes in go from mastodon (since i don't have an account there), you may enjoy github.com/saleemrashid...

this is the coolest online has ever been

yeah. you don’t like have to shift gears on a pine marten. well, at least, i don’t think you do…

r

!jazbot getlikesgiven

!jazbot findmeafriend

what memes have ruined your brain? for example, if i die in a tornado there's a 70% chance that my last words were "it fucken WIMDY" because of this post

moth *repeatedly bashing itself against my computer monitor* me: it's not a touchscreen you have to use the mouse

every power rack and squat rack is free right now, nothing could stop me from curling in the rack

running away from your problems is so underrated

Who wants to break this on a laptop over a weekend

Havana syndrome, but it's me blaming something unknowable for why I'm sleepy rather than that I was up too late

the logical fallacy of “argument from linux”

(•_•) <) )╯that's on a need to know basis / \ (•_•) \( (> and you / \ (•_•) <) )╯dont need to know / \

up at 5am because I had a stress dream about doing a podcast appearance while going to the grocery store

this is the funniest thumbnail I’ve ever seen

apple music is recommending “emo essentials” for me and i don’t know how i feel abt this